I've noticed most guys "grow up" easier in a relationship?

tryst type · Jul 17, 2013

Ok, what I mean by growing up is, buying a house, motivation to get better work, car, lifestyle.

I say this by using 3/4 of my friends as examples (excluding the most recent I posted about and his break up)

The ones I'm referring to have all moved into an apartment with their gfs to buying a house, changed their lifestyles by attributing vacations, adventure, different tastes in music/culture (all influenced by their gfs)

These guys would be otherwise lazy and happy with a mundane life if they were single, I know because I was part of it.

So if women do naturally go for a guy who's more versed and experienced that can enrich her life why are so many going for the lazy guys they are subtly help become more interesting?

tryst type · Jul 17, 2013

True, I guess what I'm trying to say is without being a LTR most of my friends (and I'm sure other guys) would not otherwise have the motivation to better themselves.

It's as if the women are a muse for them which kind of contradicts the qualities women seek in an "attractive man"

PlayHer Man · Jul 17, 2013

tryst type said:
These guys would be otherwise lazy and happy with a mundane life if they were single, I know because I was part of it.

So if women do naturally go for a guy who's more versed and experienced that can enrich her life why are so many going for the lazy guys they are subtly help become more interesting?

Bro.. its not like most women can just walk outside and point to the man they want. Dating is not a Chinese menu. The guy has to like her and want to f*ck her AND want to commit to her. For many women.. the only men who are willing to commit are the lazy guys.

As women get older they increasingly seek men they can control because they feel more secure with those men. They've dated the players and bad boys who pumped and dumped them and they know such men are beyond their control.

Unlike men.. women don't just "accept" what they get. They try to mold the man into their ideal (the ideal they've been chasing their entire life).

In short.. women settle but they never REALLY settle. They try to change a lesser man into the man they really want but can't get. :yes:

Purefilth · Jul 17, 2013

PlayHer Man said:
Bro.. its not like most women can just walk outside and point to the man they want. Dating is not a Chinese menu. The guy has to like her and want to f*ck her AND want to commit to her. For many women.. the only men who are willing to commit are the lazy guys.

As women get older they increasingly seek men they can control because they feel more secure with those men. They've dated the players and bad boys who pumped and dumped them and they know such men are beyond their control.

Unlike men.. women don't just "accept" what they get. They try to mold the man into their ideal (the ideal they've been chasing their entire life).

In short.. women settle but they never REALLY settle. They try to change a lesser man into the man they really want but can't get. :yes:

True.

They dongt just date the guy - they also date his potential.

They look at what they think they can make him into as well as what he is now.

But @ OP men mature in the relationship because the woman is sucking all the childlike fun out of him. - At least thats what I see anyway

zekko · Jul 17, 2013

tryst type said:
The ones I'm referring to have all moved into an apartment with their gfs to buying a house, changed their lifestyles by attributing vacations, adventure, different tastes in music/culture (all influenced by their gfs)

I can't say anything about buying a house, because I had a house on my own. But certain things like taking vacations are usually more enjoyable when you have a girlfriend to go along with you. IMO, of course.

As for being influenced by your girlfriend: Guys around here tend to make women sound like useless dolts who can have no useful interests outside of what kind of lipstick to wear. But most decent women will bring something else to the table. My girlfriend, for instance, got me interested in several outdoorsy type activities I probably never would have thought about if I hadn't met her. Just like anytime you make a new good friend, they will probably come with some new interests that you can get involved with.

PlayHer Man said:
Unlike men.. women don't just "accept" what they get. They try to mold the man into their ideal (the ideal they've been chasing their entire life).

In short.. women settle but they never REALLY settle. They try to change a lesser man into the man they really want but can't get.

That is often the case. I think it's a good sign for the relationship (and probably for yourself) when your woman accepts you and appreciates you for who you are, without trying to change you. In fact, I'd say that's a big thing to screen for.

Iceberg · Jul 17, 2013

tryst type said:
So if women do naturally go for a guy who's more versed and experienced that can enrich her life why are so many going for the lazy guys they are subtly help become more interesting?

tryst type said:
It's as if the women are a muse for them which kind of contradicts the qualities women seek in an "attractive man"

But I think you're going by SoSuave's definition of how men attract women, and not the real world's.

You don't have to be 2% body fat and a multimillionaire to get a girlfriend. If you're in the suburbs where everyone's marrying off by age 30, then getting a girlfriend is easy. If you want to live the lifestyle of going out and getting a new girl every week, then yeah, that might require a bit more bells and whistles.

So, although you define your friends as lazy or unmotivated, there are girls in the world who can see positive qualities in them.

zekko · Jul 17, 2013

Iceberg said:
But I think you're going by SoSuave's definition of how men attract women, and not the real world's.

Ah, nice to see someone realize there is a difference.

Iceberg said:
You don't have to be 2% body fat and a multimillionaire to get a girlfriend. If you're in the suburbs where everyone's marrying off by age 30, then getting a girlfriend is easy.

Sounds a lot like where I live. Certainly not everybody marries off by 30, but a good many people do. People have a tendency to pair off.

Iceberg said:
If you want to live the lifestyle of going out and getting a new girl every week, then yeah, that might require a bit more bells and whistles.

I would say that isn't that difficult where I live either. There seems to be subsets of people. There are the people who get married and are into having families. And there are the people who like to fvck around. And everywhere in between.

But for some guys, it looks like it can be really difficult to do either of those things. I notice a lot of these guys seem to be lacking in masculinity, or some of them just simply have very poor hygiene.

backbreaker · Jul 17, 2013

damn iceburg long time no see bro.

I did all my damage or the bulk of it, the real damage when i was single but, i'm a much better businessman now than I was than. some of that, at least half's just attributed to the fact that i'm older and more experienced. but some of it is my wife.

it's one of the prime reasons i married her. she understands me, she understands my faults and helps me correct them. She won't let me burn myself out, something i had a very bad habit of doing before i met her so even though i don't work 14 hours a day anymore i will work a consistent 8-9 everyday and she helps me understand other peoples points of views better than i would by myself

not only that, i just don't have as much need to have as much play money. when i was single i probably spent 200-300 a week on dates, restaurants, concerts, etc. we might go out to eat once a week now and it's generally a 60-80 dollar bill. i also have more time since i'm not chasing ***** thus more time that can be devoted to more productive activities.

IMHO, htere is no such thing as a successful millionaire player (non athlete/ musican) it' snot possible to dob oth at the same time. i became a millionaire before i was a player. i payed with my money but i did not have the ability to make 6 figures AND run game on 4 different women at once at the same time. we talked about this in the harem thread about a year ago. running a company requires way too much of my time and spinning plates requires too much of my time i can't do both.

i probably spent... okay lol, i spent probably 5% of my money i made on drugs. spent another 25% of it give or take just, living, from the time i was 21 until i was 24. that was my plate spinning time. i was making money but not enough to replace what i was spending, plus i was doing the horse racing thing and my first 2 years i was operating at a loss, but i couldn't devote the time like i needed to seriously do beucas eof, women.

since i met my wife and stopped spinning plates, i have more money in the savings account than i had the day i moved to california, with a 5 year old son, a paid off house, and 2 luxury cars. and i paid for a wedding + wedding ring which is a rock.

that's the catch 22 about being a millionare to get all these girls, to seriously make that kind of jack you have to give women up, at least for a duration of time. give me 1 really quality HB 8 that cooks and loves sex and my company / money and i'm perfectly happy.

PlayHer Man · Jul 17, 2013

backbreaker said:
since i met my wife and stopped spinning plates, i have more money in the savings account than i had the day i moved to california, with a 5 year old son, a paid off house, and 2 luxury cars. and i paid for a wedding + wedding ring which is a rock.

that's the catch 22 about being a millionare to get all these girls, to seriously make that kind of jack you have to give women up, at least for a duration of time. give me 1 really quality HB 8 that cooks and loves sex and my company / money and i'm perfectly happy.

As Danger would say: Two points...

1. The idea that you have to give up women to become financially successful is pure sh!t. It all depends on which road to riches you take.. the smart one vs. the stupid one.

The stupid one is trying to work your way up in a company.

The smart one is making smart financial choices, investing wisely, managing money and choose a career you have natural talent in so the money flows with little exertion.

2. You say you are happy as long as you have one HB8 who cooks, loves you, etc, etc. But guess what? She won't be a HB8 forever. She is not a cartoon character is she? So when the bloom of youth fades.. then what?

You said you're happy as long as you have your HB8. What happens when she is no longer a HB8?

Bokanovsky · Jul 17, 2013

Having a long-term girlfriend/wife allows you to take your mind off your dating life and focus on other things. "Gaming" women takes up a lot of time and effort for most single guys. If you put that time and effort towards work, vacations, hobbies, etc. you would naturally be a more successful and happier person. That's why most successful businessmen, politicians, etc. are in long-term relationships.

It's not that your girlfriend is your muse or makes you a better man. You just have so much more time and energy that you can devote to your career when you don't have to chase women.

Iceberg · Jul 17, 2013

Bokanovsky said:
Having a long-term girlfriend/wife allows you to take your mind off your dating life and focus on other things. "Gaming" women takes up a lot of time and effort for most single guys. If you put that time and effort towards work, vacations, hobbies, etc. you would naturally be a more successful and happier person. That's why most successful businessmen, politicians, etc. are in long-term relationships.

Well, I wouldn't go that far. Most politicians are married (aside from love, companionship, etc) because they need to portray themselves as family men.

And businessmen...yeah maybe those older guys in giant companies. But I know dozens of wealthy tech start-up dudes who are single and dating.

You gotta consider the amount of time these guys spend working and building their ideas....that lifestyle isn't going to cut it for some woman who's expecting you home for dinner every night. Sometimes it's best to have the girl who wants to sleep over once every week or two.

It's not that your girlfriend is your muse or makes you a better man. You just have so much more time and energy that you can devote to your career when you don't have to chase women.

I just think you're overestimating how much energy we devote to dating. For me, it's a fun hobby, but rarely do I find myself skipping work or distracted from big projects because of women.

If anything, dating is like gym/guitar-playing/reading/travel/etc...it's stress relief when I'm not working.

Honestly (and this might be a personal thing), I feel like long term relationships, a house in the burbs, and all that stuff, would just slow me down from chasing my ambitions. I feel like the "devotion to your career" that comes with that lifestyle could sometimes just equate to "seeking promotions to get a raise to keep the roof over my head to keep my wife from nagging me."

I'm not trying to sh!t on your comment, Bokanovsky. Just offering an alternative view.

Warrior74 · Jul 17, 2013

Bokanovsky said:
Having a long-term girlfriend/wife allows you to take your mind off your dating life and focus on other things. "Gaming" women takes up a lot of time and effort for most single guys. If you put that time and effort towards work, vacations, hobbies, etc. you would naturally be a more successful and happier person. That's why most successful businessmen, politicians, etc. are in long-term relationships.

It's not that your girlfriend is your muse or makes you a better man. You just have so much more time and energy that you can devote to your career when you don't have to chase women.

Or...you can just do what I while I work on my career. This Disregard females for a while and acquire currency right now. The longer I stay single the longer I want to stay single. My last FB blew out because I didn't have time for her and my job/kid/business. Guess what? I let her go. I can't stop the plan for anyone right now.

Bokanovsky · Jul 17, 2013

Iceberg said:
I'm not trying to sh!t on your comment, Bokanovsky. Just offering an alternative view.

And I hear where you're coming from. I guess it depends on the individual. Many men can benefit from feeling grounded and secure. Dating, new relationships, break ups, drama...all of that can take a toll.

Personally, I have avoided long-term commitments for most of my adult life. I'm not opposed to it in principle, but I just can't seem to maintain an interest in a woman for more than a couple of months. I grow bored and break up with them. However, I feel that if I were in a long-term relationship, I could be even more focused on my career/business and hobbies.

Mike32ct · Jul 17, 2013

Plenty of guys change their lifestyle in a LTR. The big question is are they happy with their new choices or was it just to please her?

If she encourages you to be better and you are happy with the changes, great.

But, for example, if the guy is thrifty with money and she pressures him into buying a bigger house, more expensive car, etc., then it's not so good.

Or maybe the guy is happy with his job, but she pressures him into a new job or promotion that pays more $ but leaves him miserable.

LorenzoVonM · Jul 17, 2013

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Since when is adopting female materialism considered "growing up"?

Right? People have been conditioned that they must "grow up". Growing up simply means becoming a more predictable consumer/debt accumulator. When you can predict peoples behaviors then you can drive society however you wish. You are functioning in society's best interests which may not be compatible to your own best interests.

backbreaker · Jul 17, 2013

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Since when is adopting female materialism considered "growing up"?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=206673

i rest my case lol.

No one ever suggested that growing up meant buying **** that you don't want or need until you stated this.

Growing up means not living paycheck to paycheck, or having enough money to get the transmission fixed on your car in the bank account when the car breaks down and not having to beg your parents for money. Being able to put a child through private school, having a bank account and not a pre paid debit card lol (I bet 100 dollars there is at least one person in this thread that has a pre paid debit card)

I mean, **** guys. seriously what the ****. the world is about more, a hell of a lot more than *****. I really do not get most of the guys here. I"m not even trying to be funny or AMOG anyone I'm dead serious I don't get it. You say you don't' want your life to revolve around women but every life decision you make is in response to what women want, you just go the opposite way. How is that any different than an AFC when you first got here?

Some of you guys have watched one too many Alex Jones Documentations

I mean.. **** guys. This is well beyond gaming at this point this is just, about being ****ing normal. some of you guys just.. aren't ****ing normal lol. For all the **** I've done, talked about, I'm a pretty normal dude. I like playing with my son, I like spending time with m wife,, like watching a decent TV show, I like what i do for a living, I like having cook outs and like sporting events. I like live jazz. I like **** like that. This brings me happiness. I don't get the society corrupts agenda that's going on here, or the feminism on trial agenda...

if you look down towards women, look down towards corporate america, think religion is a ploy to control people, and think kids are a complete and utter waste of time and a tool in which women control men, than what do you believe in lol? why are you here? what is your primary function? What is your definite chief aim?

I **** on the PUAs from time to time but ****, at least guys like Lexington have a purpose lol. i Might not agree with it, but **** they have a purpose. they want to **** as many women as possible. okay cool. do your thing. At least, its something tangible that you believe will bring you happiness. But ****, if you don't believe in anything, if you are against everything what in the hell are you for? general bitterness? hate? being the crab at the bottom of the barrel?

and hell there are things i do, just because my wife wants me to. albeit, I Don't make a complete habit of it and i'm not a pushover but ****, she's my wife lol. she's not barefoot and pregnant in my kitchen making ham sandwiches all day long. My wife won't say **** to me as far as work during the week but unless it's defcon 4 or some **** it is world war 3 in my house if i'm trying to do all out work on a weekend the weekend in this house is family time. that's her rule and i abide by it. because she has a ****ing point, i can make and lose money, i can't redo my son's childhood.

i'm rambling now but i 'm ust saying man.. you only get one of these things, lives. don't be afraid to live it. how i live mine may not be how you live yours, but don't be so afraid to look like a chump or get taken by society or a woman that you don't do **** at all.

there are some good dudes on this forum man. don't let **** a woman did to you or lack of success with the opposite sex turn you militant. it's not worth it. because in the end you are just hurting yourself and ironical driving yourself further from getting what you want.

militant seems ot be the new jerk.

PlayHer Man · Jul 17, 2013

backbreaker said:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=206673

i rest my case lol.

No one ever suggested that growing up meant buying **** that you don't want or need until you stated this.

Growing up means not living paycheck to paycheck, or having enough money to get the transmission fixed on your car in the bank account when the car breaks down and not having to beg your parents for money. Being able to put a child through private school, having a bank account and not a pre paid debit card lol (I bet 100 dollars there is at least one person in this thread that has a pre paid debit card)

I mean, **** guys. seriously what the ****. the world is about more, a hell of a lot more than *****. I really do not get most of the guys here. I"m not even trying to be funny or AMOG anyone I'm dead serious I don't get it. You say you don't' want your life to revolve around women but every life decision you make is in response to what women want, you just go the opposite way. How is that any different than an AFC when you first got here?

Some of you guys have watched one too many Alex Jones Documentations

I mean.. **** guys. This is well beyond gaming at this point this is just, about being ****ing normal. some of you guys just.. aren't ****ing normal lol. For all the **** I've done, talked about, I'm a pretty normal dude. I like playing with my son, I like spending time with m wife,, like watching a decent TV show, I like what i do for a living, I like having cook outs and like sporting events. I like live jazz. I like **** like that. This brings me happiness. I don't get the society corrupts agenda that's going on here, or the feminism on trial agenda...

if you look down towards women, look down towards corporate america, think religion is a ploy to control people, and think kids are a complete and utter waste of time and a tool in which women control men, than what do you believe in lol? why are you here? what is your primary function? What is your definite chief aim?

I **** on the PUAs from time to time but ****, at least guys like Lexington have a purpose lol. i Might not agree with it, but **** they have a purpose. they want to **** as many women as possible. okay cool. do your thing. At least, its something tangible that you believe will bring you happiness. But ****, if you don't believe in anything, if you are against everything what in the hell are you for? general bitterness? hate? being the crab at the bottom of the barrel?

and hell there are things i do, just because my wife wants me to. albeit, I Don't make a complete habit of it and i'm not a pushover but ****, she's my wife lol. she's not barefoot and pregnant in my kitchen making ham sandwiches all day long. My wife won't say **** to me as far as work during the week but unless it's defcon 4 or some **** it is world war 3 in my house if i'm trying to do all out work on a weekend the weekend in this house is family time. that's her rule and i abide by it. because she has a ****ing point, i can make and lose money, i can't redo my son's childhood.

i'm rambling now but i 'm ust saying man.. you only get one of these things, lives. don't be afraid to live it. how i live mine may not be how you live yours, but don't be so afraid to look like a chump or get taken by society or a woman that you don't do **** at all.

there are some good dudes on this forum man. don't let **** a woman did to you or lack of success with the opposite sex turn you militant. it's not worth it. because in the end you are just hurting yourself and ironical driving yourself further from getting what you want.

militant seems ot be the new jerk.

You constantly make the mistake of thinking everyone desires your place in life. Here is a golden rule to follow --> Never take advice from someone who isn't where YOU want to be in life.

Show of hands.. who here WANTS to be Backbreaker? Anyone???

Backbreaker.. if you're so happy, successful and well adjusted.. why do you keep coming to SoSuave to sh!t all over men who choose to live differently than yourself?

Could it be you are actually miserable in your "marriage" and feel enslaved.. but you can't do anything about it since your wife owns you by law... so you come to SoSuave to sh!t on FREE men out of jealousy.. in hopes of convincing them to make the same horrible mistakes you made in order to get some validation for your bad decisions??? ***GAAASP***.. that was long winded..

Go f*ck your HB 8 wife and stop stressing over the DJ's on this site. You've got your money, you've got your hot wife, you've got your fancy car. Go enjoy it. Off you go.. :kick:

Bokanovsky · Jul 17, 2013

PlayHer Man said:
Go f*ck your HB 8 wife and stop stressing over the DJ's on this site. You've got your money, you've got your hot wife, you've got your fancy car. Go enjoy it. Off you go.. :kick:

What money, what hot wife? Backbreaker (a.k.a. Brandon Washington) is a small-time hustler who gets by pulling craigslist scams. I thought it was common knowledge that his online personality was as much of a fraud as his web development "business".

Start reading from page 8:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=196020&page=8

Jitterbug · Jul 18, 2013

Lazy = spending time, money and effort on things that don't benefit women.

Growing up = working hard to provide for women.

Good thing we have women to help us define our manhood, eh?

Women like to marry men they can control. This is nothing new, you see it in every culture of every age.

Men work harder when they have pvssy incentives. No pvssy carrot, no mule dragging the plough. Again this is ancient.

PlayHer Man · Jul 18, 2013

Jitterbug said:
Lazy = spending time, money and effort on things that don't benefit women.

Growing up = working hard to provide for women.

Good thing we have women to help us define our manhood, eh?

Women like to marry men they can control. This is nothing new, you see it in every culture of every age.

Men work harder when they have pvssy incentives. No pvssy carrot, no mule dragging the plough. Again this is ancient.

And this is why a woman's main goal is power over men. Everything women do is to increase their power and influence over men. Only when they can't control men do they get their hands dirty and do hard work. They do it because they have no choice.

Multiple studies have confirmed that women have become more unhappy since the onset of feminism. They are forced to labor like men and they don't like it.

Every woman knows that more power over men means less hard work for her and more shopping, gossiping and lounging around (what she really enjoys).

A woman's happiness peaks in her 20's and declines for the rest of her life after that. Its no coincidence that her 20's is when she has the most power over men. A man's happiness peaks in his 40's /50's --> A time when his sex drive has mellowed and his value has peaked giving women less power over him.

I've noticed most guys "grow up" easier in a relationship?

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