Alright, I'll try to explain this sequence of events as best as I can up until present time.
Approximately 8 weeks ago I went on a first date with this girl. We met for coffee, it went really well and she suggested we see each other again.
Second date I kissed her good night. We ended up going on 5 dates during September, so for about a month. We both saw our relationship as "dating." Physically things moved slow, the most is just some cuddling and kiss good night, no hardcore making out or anything. Not that it mattered to me, I'm just saying that to accurately portray what our relationship was like during those 4 weeks.
She would send me text messages all the time, we talked on the phone every other night for nearly an hour. Then out of nowhere she got sick, then she was really busy, and turned down several offers of mine for future dates. I straight up asked her if she had lost interest (I have no intention of participating in stupid dating games and interpreting mixed signals and stuff). I basically gave her an easy out. Well she said that she really liked me and just happened to be really busy.
After that things got a little more weird. Not only was she always "busy" but she wouldn't return my calls and instead would only send me text messages. So eventually I called the whole thing off and said sorry this is not going to work out. She still claimed she was actually just busy, but said ok. So we had officially "broken up."
Since I was technically the one who called things off, I changed my mind (12 hours later. I know, I know...) and basically said I wanted to continue seeing each other. She said she needed some space and time to figure things out. So I said ok. I sent flower to her work a few days later in a last ditch attempt to win her over. It only upset her. So a week goes by with no contact whatsoever.
This leads me up to two days ago on Thursday. It was her birthday so I sent an innocent text message that just said happy birthday, hope you had a good one. She replied "thanks" and then I invited her to volunteer with me Saturday morning (which was earlier today) at a running race. She was interested, then called me up and we talked on the phone for over an hour! We never directly addressed whether this would be a date or not, we just talked normal conversational stuff. Catching up, etc. She even wanted to drive in the same vehicle to the race site, which would have been a 30 min trip both ways. So I just figured things were "back on" and that we were dating again.
Well at the last minute she tells me she is bringing a MALE friend along, and that they will be driving together and they will follow my vehicle. I just went along with it and said "ok sounds good."
So, of course, since she brought her male friend I wasn't going to make any moves. I was very social with her friend, I brought them both some cappucinos (this was an early morning thing, 7:00 am). We all got along well -- but in no way was this a "date." All around it was a good time, the three of us got along and had a good time. So anyways...
I have no idea what is going on now. If it is "friends only" at this point then I have no intention of maintaining any sort of relationship. I just don't have time for another "friend" at this point in my life.
If she has no intention of dating again, then I'd just like to hear that from her so I can finally get some closure to this ordeal.
I do not want to play games and try to read her mind. My plan is to simply call her up and make sure she knows that my intention was that we were going on a date -- and basically see if we are on the "same page" or not. The point of this phone call will be to figure out whether this is going anywhere or not.
I am 25, I have a professional career, and I'm looking for a serious relationship. I'm not looking for games and casual dating.
(a) My gut tells me she is not interested and for some reason just doesn't want to blatantly tell me that she's not interested in seeing me.
(b) I am confused though, since instead of politely declining my invitation to volunteering -- she agrees and then brings a friend. Is it possible this was some sort of test to see how I would react?
(c) Should I just consider this weird "bring-a-friend-along" meetup thing a giant fvcking "hint" and just move on and cut off all contact? Or is it logical for me to still wonder what the hell is going on?
My left brain knows I am being strung along like a yoyo and used like a tampon but my right brain refuses to acknowledge.
Approximately 8 weeks ago I went on a first date with this girl. We met for coffee, it went really well and she suggested we see each other again.
Second date I kissed her good night. We ended up going on 5 dates during September, so for about a month. We both saw our relationship as "dating." Physically things moved slow, the most is just some cuddling and kiss good night, no hardcore making out or anything. Not that it mattered to me, I'm just saying that to accurately portray what our relationship was like during those 4 weeks.
She would send me text messages all the time, we talked on the phone every other night for nearly an hour. Then out of nowhere she got sick, then she was really busy, and turned down several offers of mine for future dates. I straight up asked her if she had lost interest (I have no intention of participating in stupid dating games and interpreting mixed signals and stuff). I basically gave her an easy out. Well she said that she really liked me and just happened to be really busy.
After that things got a little more weird. Not only was she always "busy" but she wouldn't return my calls and instead would only send me text messages. So eventually I called the whole thing off and said sorry this is not going to work out. She still claimed she was actually just busy, but said ok. So we had officially "broken up."
Since I was technically the one who called things off, I changed my mind (12 hours later. I know, I know...) and basically said I wanted to continue seeing each other. She said she needed some space and time to figure things out. So I said ok. I sent flower to her work a few days later in a last ditch attempt to win her over. It only upset her. So a week goes by with no contact whatsoever.
This leads me up to two days ago on Thursday. It was her birthday so I sent an innocent text message that just said happy birthday, hope you had a good one. She replied "thanks" and then I invited her to volunteer with me Saturday morning (which was earlier today) at a running race. She was interested, then called me up and we talked on the phone for over an hour! We never directly addressed whether this would be a date or not, we just talked normal conversational stuff. Catching up, etc. She even wanted to drive in the same vehicle to the race site, which would have been a 30 min trip both ways. So I just figured things were "back on" and that we were dating again.
Well at the last minute she tells me she is bringing a MALE friend along, and that they will be driving together and they will follow my vehicle. I just went along with it and said "ok sounds good."
So, of course, since she brought her male friend I wasn't going to make any moves. I was very social with her friend, I brought them both some cappucinos (this was an early morning thing, 7:00 am). We all got along well -- but in no way was this a "date." All around it was a good time, the three of us got along and had a good time. So anyways...
I have no idea what is going on now. If it is "friends only" at this point then I have no intention of maintaining any sort of relationship. I just don't have time for another "friend" at this point in my life.
If she has no intention of dating again, then I'd just like to hear that from her so I can finally get some closure to this ordeal.
I do not want to play games and try to read her mind. My plan is to simply call her up and make sure she knows that my intention was that we were going on a date -- and basically see if we are on the "same page" or not. The point of this phone call will be to figure out whether this is going anywhere or not.
I am 25, I have a professional career, and I'm looking for a serious relationship. I'm not looking for games and casual dating.
(a) My gut tells me she is not interested and for some reason just doesn't want to blatantly tell me that she's not interested in seeing me.
(b) I am confused though, since instead of politely declining my invitation to volunteering -- she agrees and then brings a friend. Is it possible this was some sort of test to see how I would react?
(c) Should I just consider this weird "bring-a-friend-along" meetup thing a giant fvcking "hint" and just move on and cut off all contact? Or is it logical for me to still wonder what the hell is going on?
My left brain knows I am being strung along like a yoyo and used like a tampon but my right brain refuses to acknowledge.
" She responded "Goof. Have fun, I'm doing homework." And that was it. I realize I should have said nothing, instead I essentially rewarded cold and disrespectful behavior.
