New interest (shes very hot so I need help)

So I'm on day 8 of NC with my onitis.. I still think of her lots but I found a new hotty to talk to. I met her through a mutual friend a couple years back.. and I just started talking to her on FaceBook (where else right? hah). It was a slow process of just sending a few messages here and there, because Ive been chatting with her off and on through offline messages for quite a while just keeping it simple and nonchalant.. Finally I asked for her if we could chat on the phone some time, and she told me shes a better texter.. So she gives me her number.

I texted her the next day and we were talking back and forth a good amount then i got busy at work and that was that.. about two days later I texted her good morning.. She responds with "happy friday" And here are the rest of the text:

me: thank you hows your friday so far?
her: slow at work. it makes for a long day. Yours?
me: struggling on a project, makes for a stressful day. What are you upto tonight?
her: not sure yet. gotta work a double so i dunno when Ill be done with work.
me: ah that stinks. I'm hoping to get out early so i can hit the gym before i go out.. but who knows now with this project.

she never responded to that.

So this is where I feel stupid haha, but my other friend who is a attractive girl thought it was hilarious, so i figured i'd get a laugh out of it.

I sent this about two hours later..
me: So I'm in the bathroom and this dude is in the stall farting and grunting on the toliet, it was comical. (god so dumb of me)

no reply..

so I sent a simple text as I was getting off work about 2 more hours later.
me: you off work yet?

she never replied.. SO I didn't say anything until this morning.. I'm thinking of getting a crotch rocket.. I'm 27, she is 24.. So I was like:

me: hey, I'm thinking of getting a crotch rocket, you think I'm too old to be thinking about getting one?

her: uh no! can I ride with you? lol

me: hah, yea sure why not.

me: did you text Tom a happy bday on friday? lol (she told me she doesn't say happy bday on facebook but only does it on text because it's more personal)

her: I don't have his number anymore. lol, haven't talked to him in a while.

me: ah, horrible person.. lol jk how was your weekend?

that was about an hour ago and she didn't respond yet.. I'm just wondering overall what I'm doing wrong. She is in the midwest in my home town currently and I'm out in Cali for a intern.. She did agree to going out for a drink when i got back though.. but that's not until august.. so im still trying to stay in contact but idk what im doing wrong.

Any suggestions on how to keep her and not ruin this.. I feel she will help me big time get over my onitis.. because she seems really fun and georgeous.

have you ever thought of ringingher? that texting was painful to read, she wasnt respnding = low interest, lots of covert 'please respond/give me a bone ' messages in the texts, they didnt spark interest or intrigue

This post is confusing. Who did you try to make plans with on Friday? Can't be the Midwest girl cuz you're in Cali. But it's not clear which one you're texting at which point. And are either of these girls you're "oneitis" or is that someone else? Can you clean this post up a bit?

It seems to me that you are trying too hard in your text. There's really no back and forth with her. It's just you fishing for responses. You need to text with a purpose. Suggest to go somewhere, do something, make a bigger move or joke around. 10 times out of 10 when I find myself asking "hows your day?" its not specific, the girl doesn't offer much material to work with, she gets bored and eventually stops responding.

Sorry, I wrote the post in a hurry because I was heading out. I'm out in California right now for an internship for the summer. Both her and my onitis are back in my hometown from the midwest. So I'm trying to build something while I'm still out here. I can't really plan something because I'm in Cali, so it's more texting just to get her comfortable with me I guess.

She did however respond with a little bit ago with:

her: worked all weekend. Did 2 11hr days in a row. Dealing with drunk d bags all day can be exhausting.

her:lol

her: how was yours?


I haven't responded yet.



Sorry about the post being unorganized. So basically the small talk is just to continue to build something I guess while I'm out here. She told me before she was a better texter, that's why I haven't rang her yet.

Do you guys randomly just call? Or do you usually text in that situation and just say hey, got time for a call?

My first post here was with this chick that had the same deal. She wanted to text instead of call. Misplayed that one. Just call. Do not ask for permission to call. Just do it. What chicks say and what they respond to are two different things.

I said it in another thread but I'll say it again; It's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

you thought it was a good idea bringing up that you were in a bathroom and heard a dude grunting and farting?

humungus said:

you thought it was a good idea bringing up that you were in a bathroom and heard a dude grunting and farting?

Click to expand...

yea i know, lesson learned.


It was still funny.. but prob not the best text to a girl I'm trying to impress.

Ok, I get it now. Well aside from the bathroom humor, I can't see anything wrong in what you're doing except texting a little too much. It's good to wait a little in between texts, and don't keep them coming if she hasn't responded. But there's no magic thing you could say to her right now, you just have to keep the ball in the air until August when you can actually take her out on a date. But for now, stay playful and flirty, but don't let it seem like you're pining for her. Keep doing interesting things in your life, for it's own sake, but also so you have interesting stuff to talk about with her - you can use her as a motivator, if you will. Just don't get obsessed with her and be over-analyzing all her text messages - you've started down that road already, you need to pull back mentally and care a little less.

Your in a different state on an internship; you shouldn't be text w-horing her so much! Damn bro, needy to the max.

When a woman repeatedly doesn't respond to your texts, you don't reward her with MORE ATTENTION. That's like giving your dog a treat after he shiat's on the carpet and telling him he's a good dog.

What you SHOULD be doing is hitting her up maybe once a week or so; chatting for a few minutes, then YOU should be the one to end it first either by not responding or telling her you have to go, IDEALLY when the conversation is at a high point.

Then when you guys aren't talking she will be wondering what your up to, who your with, if your meeting any girls in Cali etc.

Btw So Cal has some of the hottest girls in the world; even Nor Cal is pretty decent; why are you spending all your free time texting some chick from back home who you will see in due time? You should be meeting new 'ho's out here to bang and have fun with...






PIMP

Pimp-sicle said:

When a woman repeatedly doesn't respond to your texts, you don't reward her with MORE ATTENTION. That's like giving your dog a treat after he shiat's on the carpet and telling him he's a good dog.

What you SHOULD be doing is hitting her up maybe once a week or so; chatting for a few minutes, then YOU should be the one to end it first either by not responding or telling her you have to go, IDEALLY when the conversation is at a high point.

Then when you guys aren't talking she will be wondering what your up to, who your with, if your meeting any girls in Cali etc.

Click to expand...

Exactly this ^^

Plus more teasing.

You also need to create a stronger frame of you as the prize.

Your current frame makes you look like an orbiter at best.

Thanks guys. All good points. Strangly she has been texting me more so we will see where it goes and I will use teh once a week strategy which seems like a good idea, as said since I can't really take her out yet.

I agree NoCal isn't that great with good looking women. I feel I have better options at home.. Although I've talked to and have gotten a few numbers out here, nothing I'm head over heals for.

I'm still keeping my options open for back home and trying to set myself up well for when i get back. The summer will probably go by fast.

It hurt my heart and my balls reading that bro. All that texting... no response from her... then you texting again.... no response from her again... then you text again... I'm going to develop testicular cancer if you keep it up.

That string of texts was beyond uncomfortable, cringe-worthy. It absolutely stank of desperation, childish and Omega male type sh1t. No wonder she didn't reply half the time. If she doesn't text back, you leave it, you don't chase again that day, EVER, you wait 4-5 days patiently. You don't reward her flakiness and become her lap dog.

Texts should be for achieving a goal, not saddo attention gaining sh1t or irrelevant small talk, that's for later once you've got her under your spell.

OK, so she didn't text, so you wait 4-5 days, when you text out of the blue follow the friendly text formula. I use it, it has a very high success rate.

1. A Greeting involving her name. Woman like to be addressed properly.
2. Something to show you're considerate. Woman are emotional creatures, they like people who show they care, it breeds trust.
3. Something congruent. To form a connection, common ground.
4. Something intriguing. You want her to reply, women are nosy. Just make sh1t up if need be.

When she replies (she probably will unless she thinks you're a stalker freak) you have to text back with a purpose and keep it light-hearted!

Based on a real text conversation...

ME : Hi Rachel! (1) How's work.. not killing your will to live yet? (2). By the way, that band you mentioned, yeah not bad, different (3). Talking of different.. my neighbours have reached a whole new level of bizarre behaviour...(4)


HER : Hi! Work's quite quiet today for once, thank goodness. Glad you liked them, check out their 3rd album it's definitely their best. Bizarre neighbours?...


ME : I'm glad work's bearable, sure you're not working on commission for that band?! Neighbours? Mowing their lawn at 6am wearing their pyjamas, weird isn't the word for it! Hey, let's grab a coffee and you can go for full sales pitch on that band to me, how's Thursday 1pm looking for you - if they'll unchain you from your desk? ;o)

HER : I'm not on commission and believe it or not I am allowed a lunch break! ) But yes, that sounds great, I'll see you there at 1pm.. x

2 texts, date, job done, fvcking easy.

In the OP's case a date isn't viable, but it could be to arrange a call or Skype chat etc., the point is make texts have a purpose.