nismo-4 said:
Order in the court!
Desperation makes guys shop at Pedestals R' Us. The man is to be the prize. Putting a girl you desire on a pedestal shows that you are weak, and that she has the power.
Women often times have power when lots of men, both in real life and Facebook, give them attention. What do you do? Easy. Remember that if you destroy the girl's pedestal, you might be destroying her vaginal walls that night!
And if she puts you on a pedestal, you still need to keep on your toes. Don't let a woman think she has you. Women want what they can't have. Be that type of guy. :yes:
All guys, for the most part, want a woman in their life. Getting one can be tough. Make sure you have options, and you'll give these girls the pedestal you bought, so that they put YOU on it. Don't give up your power. Don't let the 'gina control you. That's Judge nismo's orders and his ruling.
Case closed. :rockon:
pedestals r' us rotfl
i have to disagree with you overall though
this is one issue, if one issue, I think I understand fully.
pedestals doesn't have as much to do with desire as it has to do with seeking validation.
(to steal one from robert greene a.k.a 48 laws of power)
let's not use the word pedastal. instead of pedestal, i think a more accurate analogy is a time glass. one side of the time glass is how you feel about yourself. the other half, is how you want other people to feel about you.
regardless, there is a finate amount of "sand" in your esteem. either you can fill it yourself, or you can look to other people to fill it for you. This is the true nature of the pedestal. when you put a woman on a pedestal. you are in essence saying, I don't approve of myself and I need you to approve of me by accepting me. therefore you naturally worship her more because you don't' want to lose her and you want to make her happy.
on the other hand, when the self esteem side of the hour glass is full with sand, and there isn't very much on the validation from others side, then I mean, there might be some sand in there, but not very much and the more you like yourself and approve of yourself, the more you do not seek it from others, the more you are not outcome dependant on your actions with a particular woman.
\the premise being that everyone at the end of the day wants to feel loved and approved. either if it's by them, or by themselves.
this, is how i was able to stay sane while going 3 years without a woman. beucase even though i did not get any, i really was liking myself and likgin what i was trying to accomplish. this is why some guys can't go weeks or months without being in some relationship with anything.
if you are putting a woman on a pedstal the quesion you really should be asking is why do I want this persons approval.
and it's usually not that cut and dry. for instance, kat, the girl that brought me here. in retrospect, I mean, i was an All star AFC but she made me jump to hall of fame status the way i treated her, and the reason she did was because i wanted her particular approval, in retrospect not only because she was smoking hot, but because she was what i thought at the time was my prototypical dream girl. she was cultured, she came form some money, she was a "good girl", she went to a private school, she was a girl who I knew even then was going to be someone and I desperately needed for her to tell me that i was special too, by accepting me and the reason I needed her to tell me that so bad, was because at the time I could not look in the mirror and accecpt me for who I was. I did not like who I was as a person, I did not like my work ethic, I did not like where I was going in life.
10 years later, my wife is even more of the woman I dreamed about marrying one day and I have no problem treating her like a regular woman, and the reason I can do that is yeah, part of it is that i am attractive and can go back on the market if need be, but most of it is beucase she does not make me who i am, i don't need her approval to like me today. i like me regardless of what anyone else thinks of me.
it wasn't just because she was "hot". and she was very very hot. still is honestly. it was because she embodied what i wanted in a woman and because at the time in my life, i was on no path whatsoever to do anything whatsoever really, all i could do, all i could offer, was AFCism
The question, the 1,000,000,000 dollar question everyone should ask themselves,a and the asnswer is different for everyone, is how can I honestly, like, and approve of the person who is in the mirror. For my mother it's by throwing herself in god's word. she could care less how much money she makes though he does very well for self. she is a very confident woman. she's anything if sure of herself just like her son. but you have to ask yourself this and you can't lie to yourself. and whatever it is, you need to work on that. We were actually watching a PBS documentry on peter and paul 2 nights ago (i'm such a nerd), and I find paul a very interesting character in teh bible. The man did not lack for confident whatsoever. he knew exactly what he was put here to do in his mind and that was to not only convert person to the word of god but convert gentiles to the word of god. he never faultered, despite jailings, beatings, banishment, living the life of a nomad, he got his satisfaction by being true to himself. never compromising.
the thing is, really happy people, do not compromise their happiness. every time you compremise your happiness, you are moving sand over to the validation side of the hour glass.
the more i worked, the more i developed me, the less AFC became. almost as if it was natural.
Then again, why would a woman put a man on that there pedestal?
The same reason men would. it has nothing to do with the different sexes.
the thing is, I don't want a woman to put me on a pedestal no more than a woman wants it. My wife LOVES me, and she is really into me and i am really into her but she doesn't worship me. she has no problem telling me about myself when i need to be told about myself which is often enough. i want to be treated like the dude I am. not some demi god. As confident / demanding as i can be i would run through a woman with no backbone with the quickness. any woman who can date me for a long period of time i assure you if antyhing, is not afraid of me. they will respect me and what i do and how i do it but they aren't afraid of me or afraid to tell me
something or afraid to act a certain way around me
this dynamic is why guys just don't cure their issues with prostitutes or paid sex; it's not the sex from a beautiful woman that a man wants, he wants to know that she is enjoying having sex with him. I mean, we want sex, but it's more than just insert here that we want.
