Girlfriend Mentions her Ex Boyfriend

What do u guys do when a girl mentions her exboyfriend qualities and she says something like Oh well u'll never be like him.. I find that very direspectfull but i don't wanna react in an angry way but in a cool calm way.. and still be in controls of my own frame.

Sesar said:

What do u guys do when a girl mentions her exboyfriend qualities and she says something like Oh well u'll never be like him.. I find that very direspectfull but i don't wanna react in an angry way but in a cool calm way.. and still be in controls of my own frame.

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I would look her in the eyes, and tell her straight up, "people have feelings, ya know." Then drop the subject so it doesn't get serious or heavy.

She'll ponder what you just said, and start to feel like sh!t inside.

I'm pretty sure it's a test to see how you would stick up for yourself, or not...

jacob said:

I would look her in the eyes, and tell her straight up, "people have feelings, ya know." Then drop the subject so it doesn't get serious or heavy.

She'll ponder what you just said, and start to feel like sh!t inside.

I'm pretty sure it's a test to see how you would stick up for yourself, or not...

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lol are you ****ing serious?
DO NOT SAY THAT haha

The_Crack said:

lol are you ****ing serious?
DO NOT SAY THAT haha

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And what would you say? Some kinda ****y funny BS? That's overrated. If she, herself was trying to be ****y funny and came of wrong then, still I would say with a smirk and smile in my eyes "people have feeling, you know", if she was being malicious, then just a cool look and same phrase, to let her know I respect myself as a unique human being. Now you showing her you're a man that has self respect.

"I miss my ex girlfriend, her vagina was tighter than yours much tighter, she was as tight as a nun's anus". That should do the trick. Women never like to be told they have a bucket for a vagina.

perseverance said:

"I miss my ex girlfriend, her vagina was tighter than yours much tighter, she was as tight a nun's anus". That should do the trick. Women never like to be told they have a bucket for a vagina.

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Nah, I wouldn't try to get revenge or do anything malicious, just mention people have feelings phrase then change the subject. If she asks what that means, then divert the subject to something less antagonistic and change the mood to something more light. You don't even have to answer anything concerning that anymore. She'll know you find that kinda talk inappropriate.

If you're trying to win her over, insulting her back is just gonna drive a wedge between both of you.

EDIT: only if she's really trying to be mean and cut you down, then you put your foot down like a man and say something like "Fvck, so stupid! No wonder he went dump you!" If she's get's mad at you for this you get more mad at her, but you stand your ground. Now that's getting intimate lol

if your gf ever told you about her ex and how he was more awesome than you, she might probably be right dude. You ain't man enough for her, even though it might be different in how you see yourself or the fact. but again, the fact that she ever told you that meant that you got to man up. if you are the man, then she won't ever talk like that.

jacob said:

I would look her in the eyes, and tell her straight up, "people have feelings, ya know." Then drop the subject so it doesn't get serious or heavy.

She'll ponder what you just said, and start to feel like sh!t inside.

I'm pretty sure it's a test to see how you would stick up for yourself, or not...

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and I won't ever say that dude. don't you think what you said is misleading and very wrong in every aspect of this forum? We, the man, won't tolerate any disrespect. And we ain't gonna confront women in a half-a55ed way like that.

Tovansky said:

and I won't ever say that dude. don't you think what you said is misleading and very wrong in every aspect of this forum? We, the man, won't tolerate any disrespect. And we ain't gonna confront women in a half-a55ed way like that.

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I agree, I stand by what I have said in this thread too. For a woman to come out in a relationship and state something like that is disgusting. I wouldn't tolerate it and I would consider that a major warning sign. I would break up from a girl who said that to me.

LOL.. That was a nice solid NEG she hit you with there buddy, ouch!

Imagining myself in the same situation I would have laughed and told her with a big smile something like "look I dont really care who you have been banging in the past and i'm definitely not here play boyfriend with you now. I'm here to have a good time with someone I thought was a decent person I hope I wasnt wrong." And look at her as if she were little kid that just finished doing something wrong that they knew better not to do... but only briefly.

When a girl talks about her EXs she also opening the door to either admitting she slept with him making her a HO (well not really but for this arguments sake she is), or her saying she didnt bang him (making her very lame to hang with at all). Either way you have some cards you can play if done tactfully. Second, by saying that to you she is assuming you want a relationship with her. You can also just let her know shes not all that to be evaluating you in such a way in the first place. When girls talk to you about their old relationships either one of two things is going on. She's either friending you or trying to poop-test you. Either way I want her to remember i'm not good to talk to when it comes to that topic. Now is a good time to show a little agression, assertion and dominance. I ask all the most uncomfortable questions "Oh he sounds like a really nice guy did he ever expect anything in return for his kindness? I knew a guy that his girl kind of paid him with sex. That's so lame" Depending on her answers kinda take an authoritative high role in the conversation suggesting you have detected a moral defect in her personality. Flip the script bro, that's no Ace her sorry lil arse handed you! She would still be with him if their relationship was all gravy find out why they are not together now. Look I know these suggestions are not the "coolest" in town. But she's trying you and if you don't respond with getting a little more serious with her she'll walk all over you. Not only that but believe or not she testing you to see if you can put her in her place like her father would do. This needs to be the frame you adopt at that moment, very evaluatory, judgmental, maybe a little condescendant. One of the most important things about an aggressive strategy like this is that you always respect her, always keep the tone of your voice even. After all you are just having an unpleasasnt conversation, it doesnt need to end soon, nobody needs to win or loose. You are just directing this crappy interaction she has brought on you both.

Hahaha! Srsly? A GF saying that to me would mean immediate dumping.

Agree & Amplify, my friend:

- "My exboyfriend used to [insert commentary here]"
- "Oh really, well... my last ex used to suck my cock blissfully but even so I still dropped her... just like I'm dropping you. Laters!"

and then you just leave her right then and there.

Sesar said:

Oh well u'll never be like him.

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I say "Later."

Her: "Oh, well you'll never be like him."
You: "Weird, my ex girlfriend said that to me. You know, the one I'm breaking up with right now."

She's telling you her ex was better than you. If he broke up with her, she's obviously thinking about him. If she broke up with him, she's gonna do the same to you if that's how she feels about you.

PDubb75 said:

Her: "Oh, well you'll never be like him."
You: "Weird, my ex girlfriend said that to me. You know, the one I'm breaking up with right now."

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This is what I'm talking about ^

If she's mentioning her ex, she's probably trying to drop a hint, dude. However,

I would not break up with her immediately if this is the first time she does it. It is

definitely a test to see how you will react. If I were you, I would respond with a statement

that says you basically care less about her ex and you care about yourself:

gf: My ex was xyz, you'll never be like him

you: (completely relaxed with a smirk) So what is it about me that turns you on so much? (credit: Señor Fingers)

I think that comment is over the limit of a "test". I had someone say something similar to me. I don't think it was as disrespectful as this was, and it still bothered me like crazy.

Maybe it's too quick to say to break up with her when we don't know the whole story. I mean, if this is the first time this has happened in a 6 month relationship, ok. I get not ending it. But if this is a pattern and/or new relationship... it's just a sign of things to come.

EDIT: The worst part about this, after hearing that, it's only natural instinct to want to then "outdo her ex". That is gonna lead to a whole new internal battle you will never win. It will drive you crazy and damage your game for the relationship moving forward.

Thanks 4 the response guys.. but i have resolved it one way or another but not the way i liked it would have...

She was basically saying trying to communicate with me to be more caring but i've told her that i thought it was very direspectfull and that i'll never be like her ex because we are two different people. I still have her but it is really testing my patience.

Sesar said:

What do u guys do when a girl mentions her exboyfriend qualities and she says something like Oh well u'll never be like him.. I find that very direspectfull but i don't wanna react in an angry way but in a cool calm way.. and still be in controls of my own frame.

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What the f**k kind of piece of sh*t are you dating?

People don't talk like that.

Dump this girl. This isn't how grownups in a relationship talk to each other. Not even close.

She's not a grownup she's only 19!!!

Dumping this Girl!! Might do sooner or later.. but this is an EX from 3 years ago n she was only 16 then lol..

Sesar said:

She's not a grownup she's only 19

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She's an adult in my country and let me tell you something her behaviour is unacceptable at any age. She doesn't respect you, she doesn't care about your feelings and I am not entirely sure why she's in a relationship with you if she is coming out with stuff like that. Any self respecting man, no matter who is he is or where he is in the world would dump somebody like that.

The reason why women behave like this is because men do not stand up for themselves and by not standing up for themselves they are indirectly justifying this kind of behaviour. She doesn't deserve you and you deserve someone better, someone who respects you and cares for you not to even contemplate being so disrespectful.

perseverance said:

She's an adult in my country and let me tell you something her behaviour is unacceptable at any age. She doesn't respect you, she doesn't care about your feelings and I am not entirely sure why she's in a relationship with you if she is coming out with stuff like that. Any self respecting man, no matter who is he is or where he is in the world would dump somebody like that.

The reason why women behave like this is because men do not stand up for themselves and by not standing up for themselves they are indirectly justifying this kind of behaviour. She doesn't deserve you and you deserve someone better, someone who respects you and cares for you not to even contemplate being so disrespectful.

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I totally agree with what you are saying here!!! I did stand up to her and we ended up fighting.. I sent her message saying.. I do not like u mentioning ur ex at all and u and i both know i will never be like him and i find it very disrepectfull. What's in the past stays in the past. Anyway i will observe on the next interaction and stand my ground as the Man and put her in her place next time.. or i could dump her right now.. how should I do it?? sent it over a text message or should i see her in person???