Dating advice from a woman that actually works!

vatoloco · Jul 25, 2011

Women love the excitement they get from the wide range of emotions that so-called "bad boys" give them. From the time they get picked up, to getting railed doggy-style while getting spanked, to trying to reform them, to the inevitable heartbreak they feel once it's over. And everything in between.

Bad boys are never boring.

49au · Jul 25, 2011

Atom Smasher,

That sounds hilarious. I tried to find it on YouTube. Do you remember who the ad was for?

This is not totally relevant but it reminds me of a funny story from college, about 8 years ago. Me, a couple of guys, and some girls were sitting around debating if women are shallow. The girls vehemently denied that they cared what kind of car a guy had. Right in the middle of this, another girl walks in, looks right at me, and says, "Are you the one with that awesome convertible?" Totally unscripted. The guys busted out laughing and the look on the girls' faces was absolutely priceless.

Atom Smasher · Jul 25, 2011

vatoloco said:
Women love the excitement they get from the wide range of emotions that so-called "bad boys" give them. From the time they get picked up, to getting railed doggy-style while getting spanked, to trying to reform them, to the inevitable heartbreak they feel once it's over. And everything in between.

Bad boys are never boring.

Oops, I just realized that as a moderator I can edit users' posts and I hit "edit" on yours by accident. That's why it now says "Edited by Atom Smasher".

Here's what I wrote:

Yup, with women, emotion is the drug they are addicted to, and whoever feedsthe addiction wins.

Atom Smasher · Jul 25, 2011

49au said:
Atom Smasher,

That sounds hilarious. I tried to find it on YouTube. Do you remember who the ad was for?

This is not totally relevant but it reminds me of a funny story from college, about 8 years ago. Me, a couple of guys, and some girls were sitting around debating if women are shallow. The girls vehemently denied that they cared what kind of car a guy had. Right in the middle of this, another girl walks in, looks right at me, and says, "Are you the one with that awesome convertible?" Totally unscripted. The guys busted out laughing and the look on the girls' faces was absolutely priceless.

Sorry, I have no idea what the product was.

Great story. I love a story with a happy ending...

st_99 · Jul 25, 2011

Atom Smasher said:
She also says, "Women want to be approached, as long as it's by the right person."

This pretty much sums up all the idiotic advice women give. Does it get any dumber than this??? I don't think so.

Burroughs · Jul 25, 2011

ALL WOMEN WANT BAD BOYS...

The only real exception I have seen is very sexually repressed women from conservative societies..they still WANT the bad boys but their internal programming renders this impossible. Several Indian girls in my lab fit this description. They have a certain fascination for the rebel guys but in the end they will probably go for the arranged marriage route.

other than that..

girls dig the bad boys

Stagger Lee · Jul 25, 2011

Atom Smasher said:
She also says, "Women want to be approached, as long as it's by the right person."

Yeah the right person, handsome and attractive. This video humorously shows the right and wrong way to approach women, "Be attractive and don't be unattractive" lol.

http://www.yourdailymedia.com/video/watch/2816/

Lexington · Jul 25, 2011

Tazman said:
How often does this work though? Most men are left to their own devices if they want to get some a--.

The point is, the poster I was replying to dismissed this woman's advice because "the prey does not tell the hunter how to catch it." Except, in this case, the prey actually does. Thus, the prey would probably have a pretty good insight into what works and what doesn't.

Lexington · Jul 25, 2011

Atom Smasher said:
I once saw a great commercial on TV.

This girl is talking to her girlfriend on the phone. She is telling her friend that her blind date is on his way to pick her up.

She says, "For me to like him, he's going to have to dress like a regular guy with out pretensions.

Cut to the guy dressed to kill in a super-stylish outfit complete with cool sunglasses.

"He mustn't be into material things."

Cut to the guy's huge house in the background as he gets into his Lambo.

"He is going to have to love and respect nature."

Cut to Lambo shooting down the road, uprooting flowers along the side.

"He must be gentle and not aggressive".

Cut to Lambo shooting past a 30mph speed limit sign as the wind of the car makes the sign shake and rattle back and forth.

"I hope he doesn't try to buy my affections with flowers and candy. Oops, there's the bell. Gotta go"

Cut to her opening the door, and Mr. Bad Boy is standing there with flowers and candy.

Cut to her eyes opened wide and her body language indicating she is melting inside from attraction.

This is one of the best commercials I've ever seen and it perfectly illustrates my point. Most women think they want a polite, respectful gentlemen. What they ACTUALLY physiologically respond to is masculinity and the traditional characteristics of the bad boy.

Nature always has her way. Always.

This is a nice story, but it doesn't really answer the questions now, does it?

The point is, women like bad boys, but they don't like abusive guys. The features that attract them to bad boys is their projected sense of high self-worth, the fact that they have a spine, the fact that they are masculine and the fact that they are exciting. One can have all of these characteristics without being a d-bag. A lot of d-bags do happen to be good with the ladies, but it's not the abusive side of them that attracts these girls, it's the positive qualities.

This is the problem when we don't have clear definitions.

vatoloco · Jul 25, 2011

Stagger Lee said:
Yeah the right person, handsome and attractive. This video humorously shows the right and wrong way to approach women, "Be attractive and don't be unattractive" lol.

http://www.yourdailymedia.com/video/watch/2816/

Remember kids. When you're handsome, it's flattery. When you're ugly, it's sexual harassment!

Warrior74 · Jul 25, 2011

vatoloco said:
Remember kids. When you're handsome, it's flattery. When you're ugly, it's sexual harassment!

This is the truth. I have a flakey 43 year old woman I work with who still thinks shes got it because early 30s guys dump a fvck in her and she even says this. A guy can come with some lame pick up lines if he looks good, but if he's unattractive its harrasement.

Anyway, read Roissy and forget the rest my sons.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/07/25/chicks-dig-jerks-the-veil-of-self-deception/

zekko · Jul 25, 2011

Generally speaking, it's a bad idea to take dating advice from a woman. That does not mean, however, that no woman has ever given any decent advice. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then.

One of the great holy tenets of the pickup community is "You don't ask a fish how to fish". This is one of those great phrases that sounds really clever until you think about it. You can't ask a fish how to fish. Fish don't talk, fish don't reason. If fish COULD talk and reason, I bet they might come up with a good tip now and then on how to catch them.

In any case, I would rather examine each idea on its own merit, not judge it on the basis of who came up with it.

The main point from the article I disagree with is #1. She says attractive women have more baggage than regular girls. I don't necessarily think that's true. They may have just as much baggage, but lack the coping skills to handle it, because they've usually been able to get by on their looks alone.

Jitterbug · Jul 25, 2011

zekko said:
One of the great holy tenets of the pickup community is "You don't ask a fish how to fish". This is one of those great phrases that sounds really clever until you think about it. You can't ask a fish how to fish. Fish don't talk, fish don't reason. If fish COULD talk and reason, I bet they might come up with a good tip now and then on how to catch them.

Yeah, and women talk almost a different language and they can't reason. You just proved the tenet.

Besides, why ask a blind squirrel who happens to run into a nut out of sheer luck, when millions of men can give you clearly better advices?

I do love that squirrel analogy though.

zekko · Jul 25, 2011

I completely reject the idea that you have to be some sort of bad boy in order to attract women. The most uplifting and inspiring aspects of this website are the enouragements to motivate and improve yourself. That's where the good stuff is.

Not with the guys saying you have to be a bad boy/@sshole/jerk to attract women. Not with the guys saying women only respond to guys who treat them badly. This is simply not true in my experience. Mind you, you don't want to kiss their @ss either. As usual, the truth is somewhere in the middle.

How many "bad boys" do you know that are interested in improving themselves?

"Bad boy" is one type of guy that might appeal to women. That doesn't mean ALL types have to be bad boys.
Even this website advises you to take the appealing aspects of being a jerk, it doesn't tell you to literally become one.

Tazman said:
You can get a good idea about what women want if you look back at your highschool days when things were more "raw" and in your face. The most wanted chicks were with the "popular" guys, who more often than not, were considered bad boys in some form or another.

They liked the football players. Big guys, athletes, the closest thing to being famous as you could find in high school. I don't think pursuing athletics makes you a bad boy, unless you expand the definition of "bad boy" to include practically everybody.

It's true that many football players were into drinking parties or whatnot, but how many people in high school DON'T experiment? If that's what makes you bad, why not bypass the athletes and go right for the stoners? Most student athletes lived cleaner than your average burnout, because they had to take care of their body.

zekko · Jul 25, 2011

Jitterbug said:
Yeah, and women talk almost a different language and they can't reason.

More pickup bullsh!t. Women may prefer emotion to reason, but it goes too far to say that they CAN'T reason. Did you read the article? If there's something she said that is flawed, point it out.

Jitterbug · Jul 25, 2011

It's not the bad that attracts them, it's the polarity between the bad side and the good side which gives women a wild swing of emotions. Ask women about their bad boys and they always say something like "he's actually a very nice guy!"

We men tend to have a very black & white view of good vs bad, which is why we often struggle to understand why women like "bad boys". In women's mind, those guys aren't "bad".

Jitterbug · Jul 25, 2011

zekko said:
More pickup bullsh!t. Women may prefer emotion to reason, but it goes too far to say that they CAN'T reason. Did you read the article? If there's something she said that is flawed, point it out.

Reason and accountability are two things they don't possess.

Yeah I did read the article, it's full of usual women dating advice BS. Take this for example:

There's no "right" line, but there's a right way to say it. If I had four men approach me using the same, tried-and-tested pickup line, do you think I would be attracted to all four of them? Maybe, but highly unlikely. I can tell you that if the right man with the right character came up to me and said "banana, banana, banana," I would giggle like a little schoolgirl and instantly feel attraction for him.

Do you think a reasonable man would judge someone's character the instance he gets cold approached by that person? How the hell do you know if that person is the right man with the right character upon a few seconds?

She's bullsh1tting because she has no idea what the right man with the right character that attracts her is.

zekko · Jul 25, 2011

Tazman said:
None that I can remember were ever responsible, upstanding individuals who did all their homework and behaved as required. If ever a guy who fit this discription were to land one of these chicks, it was over in a microsecond.

Guys like this tend to peak later in life, when they become successful men. Their turn may come.

I don't know that many people in high school who behaved perfectly, though. Most went through some sort of rebellious stage, experimenting, and testing their limits. The guys I know who did behave well in high school went through big wild/rebellious stages in their 20s. It's like a phase you have to go through, it's part of growing up. Even the Amish have Rumspringa.

Jitterbug said:
Do you think a reasonable man would judge someone's character the instance he gets cold approached by that person? How the hell do you know if that person is the right man with the right character upon a few seconds?

I agree you can't judge character within moments of meeting someone. Sometimes it can take years. When she says "the right man" she's thinking of the right guy who pushes her attraction buttons. "Character" is not generally an attraction button.

Jitterbug said:
We men tend to have a very black & white view of good vs bad, which is why we often struggle to understand why women like "bad boys". In women's mind, those guys aren't "bad".

Depending on how you define "bad", I'm not sure they're bad in my mind either. I think a lot of "nice guys" label some dude a "jerk" just because they're jealous that he got the girl they wanted. "That jerk took my girl. Why do women like jerks, instead of nice guys like me?". The guy may actually have a lot of good qualities.

Just like a lot of guys here call a guy an AFC when they lose a girl. "That AFC took my girl. What should I do?". Who's the real AFC?

Tazman · Jul 25, 2011

zekko said:
They liked the football players. Big guys, athletes, the closest thing to being famous as you could find in high school. I don't think pursuing athletics makes you a bad boy, unless you expand the definition of "bad boy" to include practically everybody.

It's true that many football players were into drinking parties or whatnot, but how many people in high school DON'T experiment? If that's what makes you bad, why not bypass the athletes and go right for the stoners? Most student athletes lived cleaner than your average burnout, because they had to take care of their body.

Maybe it's a generational thing, but most of the popular guys in my highschool didn't turn out too well afterward.

The term "bad" is usually associated with confidence. I've been called an a-hole by women when I refuse to conform or make a statement they don't like hearing, for whatever reason. Most people who don't know me would probably call me a nice guy, and I would say it's situational, but that's the impression I make based on my appearance and mannerisms.

The attraction to a guy labeled a bad boy comes from the implied confidence that comes with it. It's associated with risk taking behavior and ambition. You have various "flavors" of bad boys but it's all pretty much the same concept.

Being nice requires no effort, no stepping out of your comfort zone, no risk and no challenge. This doesn't just apply to attracting women, it shapes your whole life. Certain jobs almost require you to be an a--hole to qualify (GC Foreman).

It doesn't mean I aspire to be someone who's considered an a--hole but I see the value in it, and why women are attracted to it. It's also no coincidence that most of the nicest guys I've met are usually with women who are relatively low on the attractiveness scale.

That's where the statement about guys who embody both the nice/bad boy archtypes are a rare occurance, usually its a lot more of one than the other.

Stagger Lee · Jul 25, 2011

Jitterbug said:
Reason and accountability are two things they don't possess.

Yeah I did read the article, it's full of usual women dating advice BS. Take this for example:

Do you think a reasonable man would judge someone's character the instance he gets cold approached by that person? How the hell do you know if that person is the right man with the right character upon a few seconds?

She's bullsh1tting because she has no idea what the right man with the right character that attracts her is.

Exactly, it's all in the female's perception based on the guy's appearance that makes the difference. Right guy=good looking guy, guy with the right character=good looking guy, nice guy who has a back bone=good looking guy who is a bad boy.

No woman is going to admit to herself let alone others especially men that women are superficial, shallow and quickly attribute qualities to a man based on his appearance. But just read between this woman's lines, let alone everything else you know about female behavior, and you'll see what her and all women can't or won't mentalize and can't or won't ever admit. That women superficially judge men and attraction is based on looks and appearance.

There's another thing she said, that a man's "character"/personality" (more accurately act/presentation/game, pick which ever term that is most accurate) makes a not so hot guy's face more attractive. What she failed to mention that this is a two-edged sword, your "personality" can also work against your good looks. Also you have to be at least at certain level of physical attractiveness before your personality can ever be subjectively viewed in a positive way. But her spin on it glosses over the fact that you have to pass the physical attractiveness test AND the personality test (more accurately your verbal and nonverbal act or game).

Bottom line her advice was pretty much run of the mill female advice and just as female-centric, inaccurate and useless.

Dating advice from a woman that actually works!

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