Can I save my LTR?

Good job at providing a whole essay on Borderline Personality Disorder symptomatology Elmer Gantry

I don't usually boast or talk about my credentials, because I don't need to, and in this case, for my own personal entertainment, I will.

you say I'm talking from my own personal opinion? that I have no knowledge in the matter?

well it seems you are the one who is making assumptions without evidence. As you may know, I have a masters in mental heatlh counseling, and currently in my second year of my Psy.D degree that means Doctor of clinical psychology for you.

but that aside, I do know what BPD entails, its debilitating symptoms, and why therapists in general don't like dealing with this population. I certainly don't.

What I do know, is that guys in this site use this word as a laber in order to rationalize to themselves the fact that their girl is losing interest, or is just not into them anymore, "well she must be BPD, that's why the sudden change of IL."

noone in this site is qualified to give out a diagnoses of BPD to a posters few lines about how her girl is losing interest. I certainly would not diagnose anything from such lack of information, its just not ethical.

but some guys need the rationalization in order to make themselves cope with the situation.

again, don't argue with me about my professional knowledge on the BPD subject, because sir, you will just make yourself look negatively.

Everyone needs to relax the diagnosis isn't important. What it comes down to is that bad behavior shouldn't be tolerated.

As an aside the problem is that BPD as a cluster B disorder rarely comes by itself and can be co-morbid with many other cluster B disorders. The women that are high functioning and are very successful in their lives tend to be HPD/BPD mixes.

I dated one unbeknownst to me and it was a crazy process and even now 4 years out I still miss the "ideal her" but I cognitively recognize that she is an emotional vampire an incapable of giving more than 10% to a relationship and constantly willing to destroy it.

As for the professionals, they even have a terrible time understanding the diagnosis because it is so difficult to comprehend.

Until you've gone through it, it's very difficult to understand because one's mind can't grasp that these sorts of things are happening based on their interactions with a BPD person. Of course I'm speaking of high functioning Cluster B women, the low functioning have so many issues many people tend to steer clear away from them.

Even the DSM criteria apply to every single person just not many of the symptoms concurrently hence the reason we're not all BPD/cluster B's.

49au said:

Igetit,

Great post. It baffles me how a woman's IL/attraction/sexuality can be SKY HIGH in the first few months and then somehow it changes. We have to always be on guard.

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this really shouldn't baffle you, its pretty obvious. its usually for a combination of the following reasons

i) at first they like the dude, but dude gets needy, always sending texts, never giving any space, becoming overly serious way too early - basically dude sucks the fun out of it

ii) gradual realization that the dude is kind of boring, this isn't always immediately apparent (another reason why you should have lots of things on the go. be interesting!)


this is actually a side effect of the fact that too many dudes RUSH too much in the early stages, they can't cope with the early stages where things are all up in the air and undefined - they just want to rush right through this 'find out about each other' stage and get onto 'solid ground' asap instead of just letting it get there in its own time. by rushing this part, there is nothing left to find out about the dude, no new discoveries, it all just reaches a plateau way too soon where it sorta becomes apparent the dude they wanted to find out more about, they now know too much about - or more to the point, the one thing they now know is that he's not really that interesting or exciting after all

mahoney said:

this really shouldn't baffle you, its pretty obvious. its usually for a combination of the following reasons

i) at first they like the dude, but dude gets needy, always sending texts, never giving any space, becoming overly serious way too early - basically dude sucks the fun out of it

ii) gradual realization that the dude is kind of boring, this isn't always immediately apparent (another reason why you should have lots of things on the go. be interesting!)


this is actually a side effect of the fact that too many dudes RUSH too much in the early stages, they can't cope with the early stages where things are all up in the air and undefined - they just want to rush right through this 'find out about each other' stage and get onto 'solid ground' asap instead of just letting it get there in its own time. by rushing this part, there is nothing left to find out about the dude, no new discoveries, it all just reaches a plateau way too soon where it sorta becomes apparent the dude they wanted to find out more about, they now know too much about - or more to the point, the one thing they now know is that he's not really that interesting or exciting after all

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sounds like a damn game. keeping yourself mysterious just to keep a girl around. oh that really sucks but its the game right? apparently i'm pretty mysterious without trying because i had a bad past, family and all. moving around all the time. girls can see i hide this from them cause it's kind of a private thing for me and i don't tell everyone the details. girls always find out i'm with my mom because we just moved away from my father and brother... there was violence, drugs, alcohol involved but i don't tell girls that. but they kind of sense something bad. i guess it's interesting. but when they ask why my family is all split up i just say i moved here with my mom and trying to live life. my parents are seperated but that's another story.. and i leave it there.

anyway, in the past dating girls has taught me keeping to yourself and being mysterious does infact keep the relationship interesting. like lately with the girl i'm with. it's all lovey romance notebook/titanic style when we are together but when we are apart i try to remain mysterious... don't text a lot or call even. only to arrange a date we usually talk or sometimes she will text me something funny so i respond. i was bad in the beginning, needy and texting too much but i've changed that drastically in the last month. i'm trying to hold myself back to keep the relationship going on fire. trying to make things exciting etc. let things get in place by itself. so far so good

pipe007 said:

Good job at providing a whole essay on Borderline Personality Disorder symptomatology Elmer Gantry

I don't usually boast or talk about my credentials, because I don't need to, and in this case, for my own personal entertainment, I will.

you say I'm talking from my own personal opinion? that I have no knowledge in the matter?

well it seems you are the one who is making assumptions without evidence. As you may know, I have a masters in mental heatlh counseling, and currently in my second year of my Psy.D degree that means Doctor of clinical psychology for you.

but that aside, I do know what BPD entails, its debilitating symptoms, and why therapists in general don't like dealing with this population. I certainly don't.

What I do know, is that guys in this site use this word as a laber in order to rationalize to themselves the fact that their girl is losing interest, or is just not into them anymore, "well she must be BPD, that's why the sudden change of IL."

noone in this site is qualified to give out a diagnoses of BPD to a posters few lines about how her girl is losing interest. I certainly would not diagnose anything from such lack of information, its just not ethical.

but some guys need the rationalization in order to make themselves cope with the situation.

again, don't argue with me about my professional knowledge on the BPD subject, because sir, you will just make yourself look negatively.

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Borderline Personality Disorder isn't that easy to diagnose for an outsider. Especially because they do a good job convincing people. It's no coincidence that psychotherapist tends to be a profession that many BPD's hold..

The best shot you actually have of making a correct assessment is study about BPD yourself and try to look at whether or not you saw her behave in a particular way. Like I said above, it will not be 4 or 5 things, there will be hundreds of signs she has it.

They go from having the same relationship over and over again to little quirks. For example it's not a coincidence many BPD women have cats, they do it to soothe themselves.

Also, last but not least, your professional knowledge means fvck all. A trained psychotherapist will acknowledge that the person knowing most about BPD behaviour is the person who is close to one. You really do not have a clue what they are like unless you have been with one.

LoneWolf said:

sounds like a damn game. keeping yourself mysterious just to keep a girl around. oh that really sucks but its the game right?

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it really depends how you look at it - i don't really think of that as a game - for me its more like when you meet a new person don't crowd them the whole time, don't bombard them with texts, don't go on a monologue about your whole damn life and feelings about them, and don't try and shoehorn them into something you've decided is best for them. be an interesting person with an interesting life that they might like to be a part of, dont drop everything and change your life (and make it less interesting) to put them at the center after 5 minutes of knowing them

... I am so grateful for this thread; yet at the same time part of me wishes it didn't exist, because there will always be the temptation to come back and read it and relive this crap. I honestly wish it could be deleted.

However, I feel a lot better today because I am starting to understand what happened to IL. Before, it just seemed to me that a woman could just flip a switch and be "done" with you, but in reality the process happens over time.



She does not have BPD. She does have issues and has gone through a lot in life. She's extremely emotional, jealous, and clingy. But BPD is black/white thinking. Love or hate. What she experienced was love then confusion/indifference. She has not been rude or hateful to me. She has actually been extremely understanding, displayed guilt, wept in front of me, tried to answer my questions (she had a 3+ hour talk with me for god's sake). I don't doubt that she cares about me. She's just not in love with me.

As time went on, I do think I became a little too available. But even towards the end SHE was still the one initiating most of the contact. I don't think that was the cause of the problem. In fact, throughout the relationship I consistently handled her emotion very well, for the most part. I maintained a strong frame almost 100% of the time and I know she loved that.

I had kind of an epiphany last night. Simply put, she and I did not know each other very well at all when the relationship was super-intense, sexual, fun, etc. We were strongly attracted to each other and that infatuation stage lasted for a few months. But she was attracted to an idealized version of me.

As she got to know me, however, some of our obvious liberal (me) vs. conservative (her) differences came out. And I also did not display the same masculinity in some areas.

Examples:

• I was obsessed with poker and at one point began serious study with the intention of becoming a professional player. Every time I talked to her about this I could tell that it had a very negative effect. She talked about how she did not want to be with me if I was going to have that "lifestyle."

• The "religion" thing did come up multiple times in our relationship over the last few months, and I can recall two distinct times when it did that I could tell she was very troubled by it.

• There was the excessive partying, drinking, etc that I was doing when I met her. When I met her, I was the cool fun guy who literally didn't have to work yet was still making tons of money; going on vacations every month; going to the casino every day and getting bottle service at clubs on weeknights. And while that lifestyle calmed down a LOT after I was with her, I did not fill the void with anything useful. We constantly made jokes about how I would wake up at noon and do nothing all day while she was busting her ass to become a doctor. Yes, I was still making money. But what I didn't realize was in her eyes this amounted to laziness and a lack of masculine energy. I'm sure that when I finally got serious about establishing a new business once my old profit-sharing deals were over, and did something, it helped. But by then I think damage had been done.

• She did have a big problem with me smoking cigars and occasionally getting high (once every couple weeks or so). I remember a fight we had at a bday party where I casually admitted in front of a few people that I was really stoned on a certain night. She then realized that very night was one when she had really wanted to come over and I told her that "I just wanted to chill and be alone." In reality I just wanted to get stoned and knew that wasn't going to happen if she came over. She was hurt. Sitting here typing this I can recall a convo we had very early on in which she said that she had never even considered being with someone that smoked anything. And she did continue to stay with me and things were great, but I realize she was staying with me in spite of a lot of her dealbreakers, and that is going to cause problems somewhere down the road.

• She complained a lot because I would constantly smack her ass or was too PDA with her. I was just carrying over the "I don't give a fvck", heavy kino mindset I had when I was single and it took me a while to calm that down. Plus I was just completely aroused by her in a way I hadn't been for any other woman in a LONG time. But she had told me more than once that it "turned her off" that I was always so touchy-feely with her. I remember specifically her talking to me about this once and saying, "Let me come to you." Sounds like something straight out of the DJ Bible. That caveman mentality did WONDERS for me in getting laid but it does NOT make a healthy LTR. Especially with a girl that is conservative and somewhat shy about showing affection in front of her friends.

• A major turning point was the fight I described earlier in this thread where I just lost control in the way I talked to her (like I have never before or since, no matter how mad I was), when she did actually break up with me. I basically had to beg to get her back and in that conversation I showed a crack in my masculine armor by admitting all the stress/doubts/regrets I was going through about some decisions I had made in my life (nothing to do with her). That was the first and only time in the relationship she had seen me go from "I'm in control" to "sometimes I wonder wtf I'm doing." But I felt I had to show her that vulnerability to let her realize that my outburst was about SO much more than just her.

There are other things, like how I stopped going to the gym and lost some mass+gained a little fat, and how my house went from being clean/good environment for seduction to super messy all the time. Those were physical turn-offs that I didn't address.


I look back now and see different moments like that in our relationship, where I chipped away at that idealized image until it shattered.

My greatest mistake was overconfidence. Basically I deluded myself into thinking, "I'm a good looking guy with a dream lifestyle that makes good money, takes her to super nice dinners and on trips, she knows other women want me, so I can do no wrong." But I don't care who you are, that is not true. You may be so high value that a woman will stay with you no matter what, but you can never be so high value that a woman will be in love with you no matter what. By being overconfident, I didn't ask myself often enough, "Am I being too available? Am I giving her too much? Are my actions turning her off?" I didn't think I could lose her.

That is a formula for disaster.

this is actually a side effect of the fact that too many dudes RUSH too much in the early stages, they can't cope with the early stages where things are all up in the air and undefined - they just want to rush right through this 'find out about each other' stage and get onto 'solid ground' asap instead of just letting it get there in its own time. by rushing this part, there is nothing left to find out about the dude, no new discoveries, it all just reaches a plateau way too soon where it sorta becomes apparent the dude they wanted to find out more about, they now know too much about - or more to the point, the one thing they now know is that he's not really that interesting or exciting after all

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mahoney,

This is such good stuff. I don't think this is necessarily what happened in my case - I think mine was more her dawning realization of our different personalities/dealbreakers - but what you describe is the cause of so many relationships going south.

49au said:

... I am so grateful for this thread; yet at the same time part of me wishes it didn't exist, because there will always be the temptation to come back and read it and relive this crap. I honestly wish it could be deleted.

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From this post:

vatoloco said:

And this is exactly the mistake that a lot of people who want to be good with women make. Over-analyzing things to death. Sure, analyze and learn but also MOVE ON.

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"Let go, Luke..."

Some relationships are just not meant to be

49au said:

I look back now and see different moments like that in our relationship, where I chipped away at that idealized image until it shattered.

My greatest mistake was overconfidence. Basically I deluded myself into thinking, "I'm a good looking guy with a dream lifestyle that makes good money, takes her to super nice dinners and on trips, she knows other women want me, so I can do no wrong." But I don't care who you are, that is not true. You may be so high value that a woman will stay with you no matter what, but you can never be so high value that a woman will be in love with you no matter what. By being overconfident, I didn't ask myself often enough, "Am I being too available? Am I giving her too much? Are my actions turning her off?" I didn't think I could lose her.

That is a formula for disaster.

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Hey 49,

It is very easy to over annalyze every detail of "WHY" your relationship with her failed. Yes you made mistakes but so did she. The thing to remember is if your relationship was meant to be, you could make a ton of mistakes, and overall it won't matter because she will overlook them because she loves you.

Now that I am married and have a little one on the way, I look back at my life and I am thankful, that I am not with any of my ex'es. I used to over analyze every detail of what I did wrong trying to correct every defect to help me in my next relationship. It was a waste of energy.

The truth of the matter is finding someone with your core beliefs if you want a long term relationship. If you would correct of your listed mistakes and start all over with you ex like nothing happened, you relationship would have still failed because your core beliefs are so different. You cannot make someone live your values nor could she.

It is much easier to find someone with your values!

Good Luck!

I agree. She is an intoxicating drug to me; but in the end I fear that we are just not compatible in some of our long term goals, ideologies, and worldview. It helps me let go.

She is still contacting me from time to time. I mailed her the souvenir back today (with a much different note) and also told her that we are not right for each other and it is counterproductive for us to talk.

49au said:

I agree. She is an intoxicating drug to me; but in the end I fear that we are just not compatible in some of our long term goals, ideologies, and worldview. It helps me let go.

She is still contacting me from time to time. I mailed her the souvenir back today (with a much different note) and also told her that we are not right for each other and it is counterproductive for us to talk.

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Bingo! The end! From now on lets hear about all of your hot new girls you are banging. Enough of this one, though I know it still hurts. And it will for a while. But trust me, soon enough this will all be an episode in life you will look back on and wonder why you got so hung out on it.

I saw your POF profile, you are a good looking guy. Actually, imo you are better looking than your ex by a fair amount (no homo). So hit the gym, get out of the house doing stuff, start dating when you are ready, and you'll have plenty of girls to date in no time. And I will bet anything you find someone much more compatible for you soon enough.

BTW that is her in one of your POF pics isn't it? The third one from the left?? I think you can do better looks wise too.

pipe007 said:

Good job at providing a whole essay on Borderline Personality Disorder symptomatology Elmer Gantry

I thought I did a pretty good job of it. So did the other members. You made a false claim, so I was clearing it up for the other members, and to point out to you, that you were wrong with your own personal claim and lack of knowledge.

I don't usually boast or talk about my credentials, because I don't need to, and in this case, for my own personal entertainment, I will.

When you don't have any knowledge or credentials like we all can see that you clearly don't, it's best not to boast or talk about it, because it makes you look bad, and you provide the entertainment for us.


you say I'm talking from my own personal opinion? that I have no knowledge in the matter?

Yes I am, and yes you are. You made that very clear in your post. You have no knowledge of the matter, and the other members can see that as well. In fact, they all agree with me, and they disagree with you, and they even said that you were wrong as well. You said that "no BPD girl can go through pressures of medical school." That is simply not true and you were shown to be wrong by me and others. That is an opinion. Your own personal one. Just like if you said no alcoholic can hold down a job. That is an opinion. That is wrong too. I stated the facts and proved your own personal opinion to be wrong.

well it seems you are the one who is making assumptions without evidence. As you may know, I have a masters in mental heatlh counseling, and currently in my second year of my Psy.D degree that means Doctor of clinical psychology for you.

How would I know that you have a Masters? I don't know that you have one, but I can tell that you missed out on a few of the BPD lectures, otherwise you wouldn't of made that ridiculous claim like you did. But I know for a fact, that a guy with Masters Degree in mental health wouldn't be making an outlandish claim like you did, and unable back up a statement with facts.



but that aside, I do know what BPD entails, its debilitating symptoms, and why therapists in general don't like dealing with this population. I certainly don't.

most BPD people can't finish therapy and they are difficult to deal with, but if you knew the warning signs, and what it entails, you wouldn't of made that absurd personal claim.

What I do know, is that guys in this site use this word as a laber in order to rationalize to themselves the fact that their girl is losing interest, or is just not into them anymore, "well she must be BPD, that's why the sudden change of IL."

Some guys may make that claim, but if there were no BPD behavior involved then that is not true, and if you knew what it was, you can pick up on that. The OP left out a lot of information that he never provided us with. Then he told us more about her behavior after the relationship was over. The signs pointed that she may have it. Cordon stated she did from his experience. As the OP told more she did show signs of it, in fact he wrote a checklist of how she acted. Those signs point to BPD. You just don't go around telling guys they have BPD gf's. Read what they say, how she acted, and when you know what it is, you can tell if it points to that or not.



noone in this site is qualified to give out a diagnoses of BPD to a posters few lines about how her girl is losing interest. I certainly would not diagnose anything from such lack of information, its just not ethical.

A few lines? He wrote several posts about her behavior after he dumped her. Didn't you read those? I did. No, you couldn't say that she did before he dumped her. But he told us more about her after he dumped her and her behavior. Too bad he didn't say that sooner. He even made a checklist of BPD behavior. But given what the OP stated after the relationship was over, what he said about her behavior, those signs point to BPD, and if you go by those and his information, you can make your case. But all that doesn't matter....What does matter, and the reason that I posted, was that you made an absurd claim about BPD women, and I corrected you on it. You were proven wrong by me, and other members here, and for a guy that supposedly has a masters in mental health, I find that very hard to believe that you do. Because if you really did, you would in fact know that they are capable of going to work and school, because you would of studied that in school and learned that behavior in your studies, instead of making this outlandish personal opinion like you did.

but some guys need the rationalization in order to make themselves cope with the situation.

some guys don't even know what it is until they find out after the relationship is over or even years after. He never said she had that. That was brought to his attention. Some guys might, but if you know what he behavior is, like I do, you know what to look for and when not to enter a relationship with someone like that.


again, don't argue with me about my professional knowledge on the BPD subject, because sir, you will just make yourself look negatively.

LOL....You did that to yourself with your own words, I was just trying to correct you're absurd claim, and show you where you were wrong, in which I did, and which you were. I don't look negative at all, you do, everybody agrees with me, not with you.

You keep talking about having a masters and now boasting about having professional knowledge, in which you demonstrated to all of us, and to yourself that you clearly don't have any at all. You make yourself look worse each time. You can't state any facts, only personal opinions and assumptions, you are proven wrong again each time you type a sentence, and you can't back up your claim you made.

In fact, in your rebuttal here, you move away from what was the main point of the post. It was you, and your lack of knowlegde of BPD, not the OP's gf, or guys making BPD claims. It was you and you're lack of knowledge, and your absurd claim, but you moved away from it. Anybody can claim they have any degree, doesn't mean that they actually do have it. And for you to be boasting about degrees and knowledge when we all can see that you don't have any, just really makes you look bad. You should quit while you're ahead. I would suggest taking a few refresher courses in the summer on psychology and personality and emotional disorders, since you have seemed to forgotten all the material you learned for your masters. Also, don't boast about degrees, when you lack knowledge and information because you make yourself look very bad in the forums, like you just did again.

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....

cordon,

No, she is in one of the pictures sitting next to me. This is her. She's not photogenic at all though. Latin or Middle Eastern features do it best for me...

Looks are obviously super important to me but a woman's sense of humor is a BIG BIG deal. Sarcastic, witty women who get my sense of humor and can give it right back to me really turn me on. Whenever I meet a woman that can consistently do that it makes me enjoy being around her 10x more than if she was just good looking.

49au said:

cordon,

No, she is in one of the pictures sitting next to me. This is her. She's not photogenic at all though. Latin or Middle Eastern features do it best for me...

Looks are obviously super important to me but a woman's sense of humor is a BIG BIG deal. Sarcastic, witty women who get my sense of humor and can give it right back to me really turn me on. Whenever I meet a woman that can consistently do that it makes me enjoy being around her 10x more than if she was just good looking.

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Ahhh ok...yeah she's a cutie.

She's a good looking girl. It's hard to find a girl that hot who loves you and who you love, no matter who you are. But remember: if one girl is attracted to you then 1000 others who look just like her will be also, especially once you get over your depression. Find one who treats you better and post more pictures.

I took 2 hours out of my sleeping time to read this entire thread.

I like you, OP, you seem like a smart dude.

ok, gnite

Would like to add some positive news to this thread for once...

I had a great weekend and feel my confidence starting to come back.

Saturday night went out with about 10-15 friends, got some bottles, and had a blast at a club. Had a great interaction with a stunning Persian girl (I looove exotic women).

Last night went out as a wing for my friend and ended up running some sick game on his girl's friend... 3 hours after meeting her she blatantly asked me to take her home. She is intelligent, probably a 7.5 in looks/body, about to take the bar exam... I declined anyway. But once again I was reminded of the raw power of just being masculine around women that are used to having guys bow down to them. It felt good to be in control again. Before I even woke up this morning she had already called and texted me asking me to take her out today.

Also pulled a couple numbers of girls I find very attractive. Will take these two slow.

I still woke up this morning thinking about the ex, even though I am NC and have deleted her and her friends' numbers from my phone. But I feel a lot more in control now and am starting to regain my confidence. It was amazing to me how quickly the switch just turned back on and I was able to project the same attitude that has brought me success with women in the past. It's in there; it's built in; it's natural; we just have to let it out. If your attitude is right, you will pass all the sh1t tests (I got a lot last night), you will say the right things, your body language will be perfect, you can't help but win... it's all about attitude.

49au said:

Would like to add some positive news to this thread for once...

I had a great weekend and feel my confidence starting to come back.

Saturday night went out with about 10-15 friends, got some bottles, and had a blast at a club. Had a great interaction with a stunning Persian girl (I looove exotic women).

Last night went out as a wing for my friend and ended up running some sick game on his girl's friend... 3 hours after meeting her she blatantly asked me to take her home. She is intelligent, probably a 7.5 in looks/body, about to take the bar exam... I declined anyway. But once again I was reminded of the raw power of just being masculine around women that are used to having guys bow down to them. It felt good to be in control again. Before I even woke up this morning she had already called and texted me asking me to take her out today.

Also pulled a couple numbers of girls I find very attractive. Will take these two slow.

I still woke up this morning thinking about the ex, even though I am NC and have deleted her and her friends' numbers from my phone. But I feel a lot more in control now and am starting to regain my confidence. It was amazing to me how quickly the switch just turned back on and I was able to project the same attitude that has brought me success with women in the past. It's in there; it's built in; it's natural; we just have to let it out. If your attitude is right, you will pass all the sh1t tests (I got a lot last night), you will say the right things, your body language will be perfect, you can't help but win... it's all about attitude.

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Awesome to hear bro. Had a feeling it wouldn't take you long to get back into the swing of things. And see? There are PLENTY of hot girls out there for you to bang, date, whatever. And I bet lots of them are way more compatible for you than your ex.

Keep it up.

I tried to send you a PM, your box is full again.

I don't have time to read the whole thread and I imagine dead horses have been beaten over and over.

I will echo two sentiments that I simply glanced over:

#1 from Warrior: Any woman who even dares mention a breakup in any tone regarding any conversation about the relationship... is cut off immediately. Once the underlying thought exists, it'll remain, ALWAYS.

#2 from Rollo: Even if you do go back, that thought will remain. It's better to meet new women. There are TONS of women out there.



Trust me brother, I was like that at 28 and younger.

And don't get me started about them latin chicks, but trust me they can be very passionate AND very loyal IF you keep their interest level high.

You're still young and you got plenty of time to go. There'll be plenty of more latinas and Middle Eastern women out there. I know this, for a fact, because I keep seeing them all the time.

Keep your head up.