Has the damage been done?

I read this stuff for several years and used to think "Oh these guys are just bitter and are going for the wrong girls." Then I got into the field myself, did some dating, saw it for myself...along with also getting brutal rejections in the field and online...I realize everything i read was true.

The thing is, I still can't help but like women for their looks and figure. But I know deep down that women are poisonous (unless you want some obese girl that is one of the guys and doesn't play any games at all.)

I'm wondering if knowing what I now, if I'm even capable of being in a relationship with a girl? Once you know the truth, it's hard to want women for more than visual pleasure and sex.

Dear Satellite,
I think you are definitely on the right path....I liken your dating Evolution to my Staffy cross...We used to go into a large barn,armed with Pea rifles loaded with Pigeon shot,turn the light on and the rats scurry every which way... she thought it was great fun,finally got one that was on the ground,at first she gingerly mouthed it,at which Rattus rattus,wriggled round and savagely bit her on her mouth....a sadder and a wiser girl she rose the morrow morn....a couple of weeks later,we again went ratting...Ooh a different story this time,she seized the first one she came to grips with,she crushed it in her jaws with a snap so hard,you could hear it!...No second chance for Ratty...Women are different to us SP,they are engined and armed for one thing only...survival of the species,to that end they are completely merciless,savages in their ruthlessness....Having said that,as well as "Looks and figures" they also have a gentle caring nurturing side,if you can recognise and exploit that you are home and hosed.

Nah you're not yet a lost cause, mate. You just need to get a good dozen roots away and you'll be fine.

satelliteparties said:

I know deep down that women are poisonous.

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Honestly, this is a really self destructive line of thinking. I understand how easily a string of rejections can turn up a misogynistic streak like this. But it will show through your behavior and make it even more difficult to get anywhere, especially with the ones who aren't poisonous. Trust me when I say that there are some really nice girls out there, just keep your spirits up and eventually you'll find some!

Women want men to be men, and they want to be women, no matter what they say. Women are followers, period. They can't be happy being a woman unless they are following a man.

Men control this thing. Still don't understand why it's taking us so long to figure this out.

Imma have to say that some women are indeed poisonous, if you let them into your life. BPDs, Gold-diggers, Damaged Goods, etc.

The key here is identifying and avoiding these poisonous women.

the only time you are lost in life ... is when you believe you are lost. and then you can't see the forest for all the trees.
look for quality not quantity.

I guess I just think most young decent looking women (and even some of the not so attractive women) are idiots. You hear things like "I want someone to prove to me that they aren't all the same" or women complaining about how hurt they've been...yet look at the guys they're dating.

This isn't a "nice guy" thing either...I'm far from an angel and don't pretend to be...but young women are pretty much idiots at selecting. Guys get a lot of flak for going for looks, but women go for douchebags that everyone but them can see is trouble...not just bad boys or jerks either...regular guys that are just idiotic and not LTR material.

Women fall in lust and mistake it for love...and they aren't even aware of their behavior process.

My cousin (and I realize this is rare for someone her age, usually they "Get it" by then) is in her early 40s...beautiful...looks like a less phony Brooke Burke, really nice person...and she finds the most idiotic guys on the planet. She seems to have a fetish for men in uniform...has always dated cops, marines and the like...not even necessarily attractive ones...just short, chubby guys in uniform.

Her newest...the second I met him, I said to my parents "I give that marriage a year." Next thing you know, he's cheating on her on myspace and beating her...lost his job as a deputy for beating her and threatening to kill her.

He's really negative, has no sense of humor/charisma, doesn't even have the bad boy type charm, but she says "I can't help it, I'm in love with him" and then complains about the drama in her life like it's a soap opera...and had another kid with him after the cheating/beating.

This guy also drives a late 2000s mustang that his father bought for him, with a license plate that says "NYPD blue" and he isn't even a cop lol.

A girl I was going out with...and I'm not mad at her at all...she gave me a chance at a time when a lot of women wouldn't, and looked at me as an equal...but her ex before me stole thousands of dollars from her atm account for an oxycotin addiction. Once again, he wasn't a bad boy or alpha, he was just an idiot. That's not even the reason she broke up with him! She broke up with him because he started being needy and wanting to hang out every single day and be around her 24/7.

Last time I was in contact with her...she was still friends with him...not romantic at all, he was in another state somewhere, but she'd talk about him all the time and clearly wasn't over him.

Tons of examples like this.

And once again, this isn't a nice guy/bad boy thing. I'm not perfect, I'm not an angel...but I'm a good person and entertaining as well...and know other guys like myself...women would rather have drama.

satelliteparties said:

I guess I just think most young decent looking women (and even some of the not so attractive women) are idiots.

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This pretty much sums it up.

Don't overlook the fact that we shape our own reality in many ways. It's a fact that people who had a healthy youth, healthy upbringing, healthy relationship with their parents etc. will attract more similar people. The opposite is also true: The more issues you have yourself, the more you will attract women with issues... Ergo, improve yourself, and you will attract more of the better women.

That doesn't take away the fact that there simply are a lot of "bad" women out there and women in general have lots of fvcked up habits just because they're women, lol. But you shouldn't overlook the part of the puzzle that I described above... It also happens to be the part that you can influence, you know!

You can blame the cards or the dealer, but that's no use coz you can't influence them anyway. You do have influence over the way you play your cards, however...

So stop this negative thinking... Look at your title! Has the damage been done?!?! That sounds awfully fatalistic, like you're afraid that things are beyond repair, no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel to hold onto...

Don't stand still, keep moving forward... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uASVzkrEKgs

Die Hard said:

Don't overlook the fact that we shape our own reality in many ways. It's a fact that people who had a healthy youth, healthy upbringing, healthy relationship with their parents etc. will attract more similar people. The opposite is also true: The more issues you have yourself, the more you will attract women with issues... Ergo, improve yourself, and you will attract more of the better women.

That doesn't take away the fact that there simply are a lot of "bad" women out there and women in general have lots of fvcked up habits just because they're women, lol. But you shouldn't overlook the part of the puzzle that I described above... It also happens to be the part that you can influence, you know!

You can blame the cards or the dealer, but that's no use coz you can't influence them anyway. You do have influence over the way you play your cards, however...

So stop this negative thinking... Look at your title! Has the damage been done?!?! That sounds awfully fatalistic, like you're afraid that things are beyond repair, no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel to hold onto...

Don't stand still, keep moving forward...

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Yo Bruce Willis, This is a GREAT POST!

I'd just like to add that the levels of family dysfunction experienced by all of us in our childhoods, the lack of good male role models, and the emotional hits that we've taken from having survived a LIFETME of less-than-perfect relationships ALSO contribute greatly to our present day success------or LACK of succes men and women experience when we try to get together.

We all (men AND WOMEN) have to fight through a lot of personal crap, misperceptions about the opposite sex, and blatant misinformation that we've been force-fed since we were first "welcomed" into this world.

Sure, I get a kick out of framing my messages with a military-type mentality, but the truth is that at the end of the day...winning in life and winning with women IS very much "War-like".

And please notice that I DID NOT say "winning AGAINST women". Because the whole "us AGAINST them" mentality is really a much more dangerous enemy to our happiness than I'm finding that most men are willing to admit.


Soldier on.

Just added a little video to my post, to make it even better

I agree VU, it is all very much "War-like". I wanted to add something to my own thread (titled "Help") yesterday but never got to it...so I'll put it here instead, coz you happened to touch the subject as well:

I feel like I've been in a battle for the last few weeks since I met some girl who affected me quite much. But it was never me vs. her... All this time, it was me vs. me!! That girl, the "relationship" between her and me, the interactions between her and me...it was all just a vehicle that allowed the battle of me vs. me to take place.

Hope that makes sense to y'all...

I realized what's caused me to feel more cynical about women in general. The past several months, especially due to the bad weather and lack of places to meet women in general where I live (i don't live in a big city or fun area)...I've been relying too much on pof...and gets tons of rejections...not just no replies...but women that are like a 5 on the 10 scale, that I'm the one settling for, being outright rude to me and acting like entitled princesses...when in real life these same women would be in the corner "hoping" some guy approaches them.

It's amazing the things women say...especially the white women. Doesn't even matter if they're chubby, plain looking, average looking or whatever...they act like entitled princesses...and I'm a very confrontational person when I deal with idiots, especially online, and give it back to them, and this is the result.

Yeah...some women in real life are douches and have bad taste...even good women like my cousin...but that isn't every girl. If having huge muscles and/or acting stupid were requirements for getting laid or getting a girlfriend, the world would cease to exist as most men are clueless about talking to women and find someone that chose them.

I do want to keep my guard up though...I fell for my first girlfriend simply because she was an 8ish (10 to me) that was into me to some degree, didn't judge me, and didn't dress girly girlish, welcome male attention, or act like a hot girl in general. I seemed to be impressed like "wow she's a modest hot girl"...that alone doesn't make for a good LTR. I want to be more selective.

Satellite,

Are there any nearby cities or areas where you can change pace and get out to meet people? Online dating can be useful in some circumstances, but there's always the chance that a guy can become dependent on the medium. There's nothing quite like the opportunity to practice in a live venue.

As far as the behavior of women is concerned, remember that water finds its own level. As we continue to improve ourselves we often find that the type of people we 'click' with on a long term basis improve as well. Self-improvement is the key, and it is a continuous process. However, I think that the results of self improvement is best tested live. It may be a good idea to begin to travel (maybe road trip) a bit to truly put your skills to the test. You may be limiting yourself online.

Jitterbug said:

Nah you're not yet a lost cause, mate. You just need to get a good dozen roots away and you'll be fine.

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He's not antipodean, so you better explain what a "root" is...lmao.

DMS...there are some outdoor malls, stuff like that semi-locally, but nothing like when I've traveled before. I was on vacation last year and talked to more women in a week, quality, attractive women at that, than I would in a year of where I live.

I'm trying my best to plan a trip for this summer, even if it's just a weekend.