What do you see in this conversation? I'm confused.

Masculinity · Mar 16, 2011

I met this Swedish hb9 in singing class. She has an amazing body and the face is pretty cute. I saw her outside of class and accused her of following me. She smiled and said she wasn't. When I came into the building, she instantly said "now you're following me with a huge smile on her face(obviously flirty).

Two days go by and as I'm coming out of rehearsal, I took at deep breath & she mimicked me smiling. I smiled back & kept going towards the restroom. Today, our professor mentioned she is aggressive in terms of her voice after she did a solo in front of class. I saw her outside after class & this was our convo:

me: you know, I was gonna tell you to give me your number, but after that aggressive comment I'm not so sure anymore.
hb: haha, shuuuut up! I'm not always aggressive. Is that bad?
me: Shut up? You don't even know me and you're alreeady trying to order me around? tsk tsk tst...not good...but owell, I'm telling you to give me your number, that's good not bad ; ]
hb: smiles in agreement.
me: (playfully) heyy, give me your phone
hb: what do you want my phone for? (hands it over)
me: (called myself)
her: that's not an LA #
me: Nah, It's a da-da-da number...I'm new here yada yada yada, but hey at least I know the language in Sweden is Swedish & not Swedian(she has an accent & didn't know what her language was called, haha).
her: haha, shuuush...
me: I'll catch up with you later
her: what's your name?
me: Robyn, you?
her: Susan! =]

I'm bad with new chicks' names so I forgot and texted her about an hour later. (please not this isn't to schedule hanging out, it was just to her name & then we exchanged a few more, so don't tell me I should have called & stuff. I know calling is the law for setting up a meeting, but that's not what I was doing). Text convo (exactly as posted):
me: Hey song thief! Hah, how do you spell your name?(she stole my song)
hb: haha, didn't know you had a copyright on it...it's Suzan =]
me: Aww, it's cute to know I inspired you to chose the song, hah. I had to confront you and make sure you didn't try to follow me home later or something =P
hb: Hahahaha stupid...You're the one following me!! You make sure that I pass so you can claim I'm a follower... But I'm not! =P
me: "Shut up? Stupid? is that how you flirt, dude? Watch it, little girl! I'm smacking you in the ass if you try any of our lines again ; ] (I came off a little strong, I know) Do you know how to cook?

3 hours go by without a response

me: ?

no response, still.

I don't want to over-analyze the situation & I don't care about rejection. I simply want to learn from it & try to salvage the interaction. She was flirting back at the beginning and she was highly receptive, there's not doubt about that. I'm curious to know if you guys see something going on here or if it's just another case of female psychoness and their 1001 reasons to stop texting.

Please save the really short answers that only criticize & focus on the conversation and the possible issues & solutions. Thanks!

Iceberg · Mar 16, 2011

You were on fire and spitting some serious game until you got to the texting stage. I'd normally criticize a guy for texting a girl an hour after getting her number, but you had a legit reason. To get her name. But it should have stopped there.

me: Hey song thief! Hah, how do you spell your name?
hb: haha, didn't know you had a copyright on it...it's Suzan =]
me: Alright Suzan. We'll catch up soon.

It should have ended right there. What does she need to text you about cooking for? But hey dont stress it. I don't think you wrecked yourself here.

I know you're worried about her not texting back, but what else was there for her to say? Maybe she's like your buddy Iceberg and doesn't like talking about meaningless stuff via text.

Naughty Ninja · Mar 16, 2011

Robyn923b said:
I met this Swedish hb9 in singing class. She has an amazing body and the face is pretty cute. I saw her outside of class and accused her of following me. She smiled and said she wasn't. When I came into the building, she instantly said "now you're following me with a huge smile on her face(obviously flirty).

Two days go by and as I'm coming out of rehearsal, I took at deep breath & she mimicked me smiling. I smiled back & kept going towards the restroom. Today, our professor mentioned she is aggressive in terms of her voice after she did a solo in front of class. I saw her outside after class & this was our convo:

me: you know, I was gonna tell you to give me your number, but after that aggressive comment I'm not so sure anymore.
hb: haha, shuuuut up! I'm not always aggressive. Is that bad?
me: Shut up? You don't even know me and you're alreeady trying to order me around? tsk tsk tst...not good...but owell, I'm telling you to give me your number, that's good not bad ; ]
hb: smiles in agreement.
me: (playfully) heyy, give me your phone
hb: what do you want my phone for? (hands it over)
me: (called myself)
her: that's not an LA #
me: Nah, It's a da-da-da number...I'm new here yada yada yada, but hey at least I know the language in Sweden is Swedish & not Swedian(she has an accent & didn't know what her language was called, haha).
her: haha, shuuush...
me: I'll catch up with you later
her: what's your name?
me: Robyn, you?
her: Susan! =]

I'm bad with new chicks' names so I forgot and texted her about an hour later. (please not this isn't to schedule hanging out, it was just to her name & then we exchanged a few more, so don't tell me I should have called & stuff. I know calling is the law for setting up a meeting, but that's not what I was doing). Text convo (exactly as posted):
me: Hey song thief! Hah, how do you spell your name?(she stole my song)
hb: haha, didn't know you had a copyright on it...it's Suzan =]
me: Aww, it's cute to know I inspired you to chose the song, hah. I had to confront you and make sure you didn't try to follow me home later or something =P
hb: Hahahaha stupid...You're the one following me!! You make sure that I pass so you can claim I'm a follower... But I'm not! =P
me: "Shut up? Stupid? is that how you flirt, dude? Watch it, little girl! I'm smacking you in the ass if you try any of our lines again ; ] (I came off a little strong, I know) Do you know how to cook?

3 hours go by without a response

me: ?

no response, still.

I don't want to over-analyze the situation & I don't care about rejection. I simply want to learn from it & try to salvage the interaction. She was flirting back at the beginning and she was highly receptive, there's not doubt about that. I'm curious to know if you guys see something going on here or if it's just another case of female psychoness and their 1001 reasons to stop texting.

Please save the really short answers that only criticize & focus on the conversation and the possible issues & solutions. Thanks!

Ignore the whole texting thing as if it never happened. When you see her just act friendly and make normal conversation. Simple.

It was only a texting conversation. No big deal. If she can't handle that then she's a drama queen. Again. No big deal.

NoCommitments · Mar 16, 2011

Robyn923b said:
me: "Shut up? Stupid? is that how you flirt, dude? Watch it, little girl! I'm smacking you in the ass if you try any of our lines again ; ] (I came off a little strong, I know) Do you know how to cook?

ICEBERG hit it on the head!

Im real good with the text/phone game
& yes this last line, IMO, is way TOO strong!

I have tried this approach a few times & it never works because theres not enough comfort built up. So I always have to salvage the vibe somehow.

First of all enough with the stalking, following me, stole my song bit! she's smart, cute & gets what you're up to! You're a fun guy that can neg her..ok dude, she gets it!
Now it's time to be a little more serious. maybe she 'inspires you' or an observational comment about something specific you admire about her. But NO MORE TEXTING!!!

comments that include Ass shld really be treaded lightly! that is done after major comfort. Like after touching, kissing etc...Always soften the blow by either changing the subject or being nice. You changed the subject by asking her if she can cook.not good...comes off as more teasing

So this can go 2 ways:

1. She's disgusted & turned off like a light switch!
2. She's knocked down a little & needs some time to get up & dust off her boxing gloves

either way the next contact shld be facetoface or phone call.. NOT that much negging, teasing unless you balance it a little more
Be a man & tell her how you feel & what you want to do with her (besides banging her on the track field).

vatoloco · Mar 16, 2011

Dude, if you truly handled it the way you did up until the texting part, you did great. A little manly tear fell down my cheek with pride. Not many guys can pull that off with a HB9+

Unfortunately, what killed you was the texting. This line in particular came back to bite you in the ass:

Robyn923b said:
me: "Shut up? Stupid? is that how you flirt, dude? Watch it, little girl! I'm smacking you in the ass if you try any of our lines again ; ] (I came off a little strong, I know) Do you know how to cook?

3 hours go by without a response

Could you tell this face to face to a perfect stranger you just met? I know I couldn't. You barely got this girl's name and you're already telling her you're gonna smack her in the ass? It's disrespectful.

Like a good condiment or sauce, C&F is great in moderate quantities. However, if you overuse it, it will overpower and that's exactly what happened here. Now, it's not a lost cause. This chick seems to be interested. When you see her again in person, act as if nothing happened (especially if she doesn't mention it). If she does, play it down: "Yeah, I was just messing with you yesterday...", etc.

Also keep in mind that if this girl's a new arrival, her sense of humor and/or knowledge of colloquialisms (in addition to the rather casual use of the word "ass" we Americans tend to have) might not be up to speed...

And for the love of God, keep the C&F and texting to moderate (if not minimal) levels.

Edit: Oops, late to the party again!

Masculinity · Mar 16, 2011

This is really good advice I have received so far. I've got my butt kicked with online dating before and been bombarded with what I'm doing wrong, so it feels good to know something works better for me! :yes:

Iceberg said:
You were on fire and spitting some serious game until you got to the texting stage. I'd normally criticize a guy for texting a girl an hour after getting her number, but you had a legit reason. To get her name. But it should have stopped there.

me: Hey song thief! Hah, how do you spell your name?
hb: haha, didn't know you had a copyright on it...it's Suzan =]
me: Alright Suzan. We'll catch up soon.

It should have ended right there. What does she need to text you about cooking for? But hey dont stress it. I don't think you wrecked yourself here.

I know you're worried about her not texting back, but what else was there for her to say? Maybe she's like your buddy Iceberg and doesn't like talking about meaningless stuff via text.

Haha, thanks! This could be the reason & I'm cutting texting down for obvious reasons. I'm pretty god with C&F in person, but things can be misinterpreted over text messages. I'm also turning it down a little & giving a girl some validation to reward her. I came over to her, tapped her on the should the other day and told her I liked her hair (curly) and proceeded to touch it. She was loving it.

vatoloco said:
Dude, if you truly handled it the way you did up until the texting part, you did great. A little manly tear fell down my cheek with pride. Not many guys can pull that off with a HB9+

Unfortunately, what killed you was the texting. This line in particular came back to bite you in the ass:

Could you tell this face to face to a perfect stranger you just met? I know I couldn't. You barely got this girl's name and you're already telling her you're gonna smack her in the ass? It's disrespectful.

Like a good condiment or sauce, C&F is great in moderate quantities. However, if you overuse it, it will overpower and that's exactly what happened here. Now, it's not a lost cause. This chick seems to be interested. When you see her again in person, act as if nothing happened (especially if she doesn't mention it). If she does, play it down: "Yeah, I was just messing with you yesterday...", etc.

Also keep in mind that if this girl's a new arrival, her sense of humor and/or knowledge of colloquialisms (in addition to the rather casual use of the word "ass" we Americans tend to have) might not be up to speed...

And for the love of God, keep the C&F and texting to moderate (if not minimal) levels.

Edit: Oops, late to the party again!

:crackup: ---> "A little manly tear fell down my cheek with pride", thanks!

I thought I could get away with the smacking her ass comment since she called me stupid & told me to shut up, but I guess it went a little overboard.
I have to think more about what I text before I text it to an hb and think about how I come off before sending it.

Naughty Ninja said:
Ignore the whole texting thing as if it never happened. When you see her just act friendly and make normal conversation. Simple.

It was only a texting conversation. No big deal. If she can't handle that then she's a drama queen. Again. No big deal.

Will do.

NoCommitments said:
ICEBERG hit it on the head!

Im real good with the text/phone game
& yes this last line, IMO, is way TOO strong!

I have tried this approach a few times & it never works because theres not enough comfort built up. So I always have to salvage the vibe somehow.

First of all enough with the stalking, following me, stole my song bit! she's smart, cute & gets what you're up to! You're a fun guy that can neg her..ok dude, she gets it!
Now it's time to be a little more serious. maybe she 'inspires you' or an observational comment about something specific you admire about her. But NO MORE TEXTING!!!

comments that include Ass shld really be treaded lightly! that is done after major comfort. Like after touching, kissing etc...Always soften the blow by either changing the subject or being nice. You changed the subject by asking her if she can cook.not good...comes off as more teasing

So this can go 2 ways:

1. She's disgusted & turned off like a light switch!
2. She's knocked down a little & needs some time to get up & dust off her boxing gloves

either way the next contact shld be facetoface or phone call.. NOT that much negging, teasing unless you balance it a little more
Be a man & tell her how you feel & what you want to do with her (besides banging her on the track field).

I'm going to wait until I se her in class in a week. Did I mention I pulled this off with a 2-week-long beard and 2 months away of my last hair cut? Haha, I'll feel good about myself when I'm well groomed. I was just going through a phase about my ex, but I'm getting back out there!

I'm thinking about commenting her personality and how it's different from local people. I'm also going to research her country & ask her how it is there & where she recommend I go if I visit someday. I'm also going to feel her hair again, it's simply cute...(that sounds homoish, but you know what I mean).

What's IMO?

Iceberg · Mar 16, 2011

Robyn923b said:
I'm thinking about commenting her personality and how it's different from local people. I'm also going to research her country & ask her how it is there & where she recommend I go if I visit someday. I'm also going to feel her hair again, it's simply cute...(that sounds homoish, but you know what I mean).

What's IMO?

IMO = In My Opinion

And no...Don't start planning your conversations and researching her home country. It's just one girl. It's not so important that you need planning and research.

You did great while improvising and just having a normal conversation. Why turn it into this Mount Everest situation? "I need to research, and a strategy, and a battle plan!" Nah. Just relax. The more you plan it out in your head, the less natural you sound when you do it. Not to mention, you're putting too much pressure on yourself. It's just a girl....take it one conversation at a time.

ARrocket · Mar 16, 2011

Robyn923b said:
hb: Hahahaha stupid...You're the one following me!! You make sure that I pass so you can claim I'm a follower... But I'm not! =P

Don't reply!!!!
me: "Shut up? Stupid? is that how you flirt, dude? Watch it, little girl! I'm smacking you in the ass if you try any of our lines again ; ] (I came off a little strong, I know) Do you know how to cook?

3 hours go by without a response

me: ?

no response, still.

Well everyone already gave you solid advice, but if I can add anything, it's this: NEVER, never never never give that follow-up question mark again! LAME!!

What do you see in this conversation? I'm confused.

Masculinity

Master Don Juan

Iceberg

Master Don Juan

Naughty Ninja

Banned

NoCommitments

Don Juan

vatoloco

Master Don Juan

Masculinity

Master Don Juan

Iceberg

Master Don Juan

ARrocket

Master Don Juan