Society is fvcked

So i'm the type of guy who wants to be married ad have a family one day... sure i like sex, but i also like being in a relationship... Lets take it from the top... i've been in a total of 3 relationships, i'm 20 years old and i have had 9 different sexual partners...

My last relationship lasted 4 moths long... it was long distance and terrible for seeing eachother... before we got serious we were screwing around for about 2 months... then i began to like her. In this time of screwing around she brought up sexual pasts... i was honest with my number and at this time she had said she had 11 sexual partners... this girl is 17y/o btw...

Lets remember, SHE brought up the past not me... i was fine with this number until we got serious... i was at her house yesterday while she was at school, i decided to snoop around her room a bit and found a list stating "M**** Sex".... there was a list of guys numbered 1-20 and i was # 20 on that list... this girl has said she loved me, never cheated, would do anything for me, has bought me numerous things and raked in a 1000$ cellphone bill from calling me...

As soon as i found the list i drove directly to her school called her and told her to meet outside, she got in the car and we went for a drive... this is when i asked her if she was completely truthful about her past... she said why? i said just tell me... then she had confessed to the 20 guys... 1 of these guys was 26 y/o and she slept with him when she was 16...

She says shes a changed person because of me and if she could take back the past she would.... i'm still a mess right now, i deleted her # and took her off FB... i drove home right after i handed her the list i had found and dropped her off at school.

I'm in my last year of college and i don't really like the party scene, i'm a competetive lifter and work hard at what i do, i stand 6' 4" tall at 250lbs and 15% bodyfat.... i've had girls rate me a 9 or 9.5(you dont have to believe me)...

so lets summarize: She never cheated, Lied about the list, slept with 20 dudes when she was between the ages of 14-17 and she says shes sorry and wants a life with me and a family with me...

I for one think society is completely fvcked... is this acceptable? is this how all young girls are behaving now? will i ever find someone with a lower kill count than this with the same good looks she had?

Basically what i want to know is should i still date her b/c the option is still there but my head cant deal with this **** right now... any help please i need it!

I would ask my self if it really matters how many partners she has had. I mean some folks might think your 9 partners is a lot by age 20. Its all relative. I'm not suprised she lied about it.

Really.... if its over 1 does it really matter? I've lost track of how many.

And is it normal for a 20yo to be dating a high school girl? It wasn't when I was in school.

Yep there are lots of girls out there who haven't had as much action and hot ones too. Go find out for yourself.

I think you over reacted a bit and handled it poorly. You probably made her feel like schitt.


You're young man, the road is long. Just go with it.

morepoonplease said:

I for one think society is completely fvcked... is this acceptable? is this how all young girls are behaving now? will i ever find someone with a lower kill count than this with the same good looks she had?

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You're 20. She's 17. Do you really think this is going to be your long term partner? But anyway...let's have a look at this a bit more...

morepoonplease said:

i've been in a total of 3 relationships, i'm 20 years old and i have had 9 different sexual partners...

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Not bad at in reality. Probably more partners than the average guy.

morepoonplease said:

i was honest with my number and at this time she had said she had 11 sexual partners...

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EVERY SINGLE WOMEN will always understate how many people she's been with. Surely this isn't a surprise to you? Most guys will exaggerate how many they've been with to their friends too.

morepoonplease said:

Lets remember, SHE brought up the past not me... i was fine with this number until we got serious... i was at her house yesterday while she was at school, i decided to snoop around her room a bit and found a list stating "M**** Sex".... there was a list of guys numbered 1-20 and i was # 20 on that list...

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You're going through her stuff when she's not around? And you don't think that's weird? If you'd have kept your nose out their wouldn't have been a problem.

morepoonplease said:

As soon as i found the list i drove directly to her school called her and told her to meet outside, she got in the car and we went for a drive...

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You sound like a bit of a drama queen...

morepoonplease said:

so lets summarize: She never cheated, Lied about the list, slept with 20 dudes when she was between the ages of 14-17 and she says shes sorry and wants a life with me and a family with me...

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Let me summarise. She 'lied' about something every girl does. She lied because you wanted you to see her a good light (and maybe she thought you couldn't handle the truth...which would be true) and she may well have changed her ways. Would you have minded to much if you'd slept with 40 girls? You on the other hand think nothing of going through her stuff for no reason at all apparently.

So unless she's actually done something to make you suggest she's not giving you 100%...I don't understand what the problem is. Is it the number of partners that's the problem? Is 11 okay but 20 too many - if so what's your cut off?

Howiestern said:

I would ask my self if it really matters how many partners she has had. I mean some folks might think your 9 partners is a lot by age 20. Its all relative. I'm not suprised she lied about it.

Really.... if its over 1 does it really matter?

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It does, yeah, if you want to have a committed relationship one day. There is a strong negative correlation between number of past sexual partners and ability to stay in a committed relationship. It's been documented. Also, the more sexual partners they've had, the tendency is to compare you to the best they've had and more easily they will be dissatisfied (on average).

We recommend spinning plates on here. And I agree, it works. I do it myself because it makes the best of a bad situation. But the overall effect when everyone spinning plates is that committed relationships become more precarious. Everyone has that shopping mentality: there's always something better just around the corner.

Actually you snooping through her things like some suspicious freak is more alarming to me than her banging 20 guys. Seriously, how do YOU claim any moral high ground in this?

She hooked up with 20 guys. Is that perfect? No. But it's more creepy that you're snooping through s**t. My sexual history is my own business. Unless I'm pumping some chick full of AIDS, it's no one's business how many girls I've banged.

Here's my philosophy. If I'm talking to a girl who treats me right, has a job and ambitions, looks great, and is smart as hell, then I dont go looking to turn over stones and find problems with her. Would it bother me to know that my chick slept with 20 guys? Yeah it would. Which is why I don't f**king ask about those things. It's none of my business.

If you're so obsessed with your woman that you find yourself doing sh*t like this, then you have some serious emotional issues to resolve. It's not society. It's you. Go join the Taliban or some s**t.

Some dude named "morepoonplease" blames society because his sweet little angel has more sexual experience than he does. Sounds like the script of a sitcom.

morepoonplease said:

In this time of screwing around she brought up sexual pasts...

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And this is where everything went downhill. Never, EVER talk about numbers. Yours or hers. It will never bring anything good to the table.

The girl I recently went exclusive with wanted to start prying into my sexual past a couple of weeks ago. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" "How many women have you been with?" I stopped it right then and there. "Sweetheart, don't ask me questions you don't want the answers to" in a light, playful tone. She stopped. Looked at me surprised and then made a face of "You're right!" and has not asked anything like that again ever since.

In this case, ignorance is bliss. Both for her and me.

You're better off moving on. You betrayed this girl's trust by going through her things and you will always have her # of partners in the back of your head. She will never fully trust you and her sexual past will always be in the back of your head.

Move on my friend.

Never again put society is fucked as a title, especially when you do stupid shit like this.

Yes society is fvcked because someone people like the OP let their Egos control everything.

Who cares what your body looks like mr ego?

Tiguere said:

Yes society is fvcked because someone people like the OP let their Egos control everything.

Who cares what your body looks like mr ego?

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You're right, with people with egos like the OP, then yes society is fucked.

yes society sickens me, 20 sexual parthners at 17? what the fvck has this world come to? The morality of people will ultimately lead to the human races destruction.

Sounds like she's dtf. Can I get her number? lol jk

SamTheHobit said:

yes society sickens me, 20 sexual parthners at 17? what the fvck has this world come to? The morality of people will ultimately lead to the human races destruction.

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People are no more or less moral than we were at the beginning. Don't fool yourself with that "Good old day's" nonsense.

Oh, and you're a virgin. So really, we're all just a bunch of sick f**ks to you.

Mantis Toboggan said:

People are no more or less moral than we were at the beginning. Don't fool yourself with that "Good old day's" nonsense.

Oh, and you're a virgin. So really, we're all just a bunch of sick f**ks to you.

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You misquoted my entire post.

If you do continue to see her, I offer the following:

Give it ALOT more time before ever allowing yourself to get emotionally attached. Why? Because the longer you are around women, the more little pieces of their past they will reveal to you. Look at it as a puzzle....when you have enough pieces, you can see what the true picture (her past) actually is.

As long as she's clean, who gives a ****. Unless you're an oil sheik, after high school you're going to have a hell of a time finding decent looking girls who haven't been with 10+ guys.

Going through a girl's phone is the ultimate chode move, this girl would have to be retarded to value you over anyone else.

So no, society is not fvcked because some girl poo-pooed your ego.

Society isn't fvcked, but it sounds like your girl has been. 20 dudes by 17? LOL.

She says she has "changed". Then why does she need to keep a list of her sexual conquests? In plain sight I assume.

Also, what the hell were you doing in her room while she was at school?

Julius_Seizeher said:

Going through a girl's phone is the ultimate chode move,

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Nobody mentioned a phone.

Yeah whatever you want,but the more I read "it doesnt matter how many ****s have been inside her" and the more I see how the brainwashing is effective.

For fvck sake don't you have any instinct? any male instinct regarding your territory?
would you buy a car who had 20 owners where each of them damaged a certain part? some broke the brakes,others pushed the engine too much etc.
With a girl is the same,some screw her meat,others her self-esteem,some others pushed her into the feminist crap as a self defence reaction and now it's you to be forced to deal with those "gifts".

Fine with spinning plates,I totally agree but when you finally wanna settle and have a family keep in mind that those lips are kissing your sons every morning.
I'm sure BJ would excuse me for using some of his lines,but certain things sounds to me as rationalization from people that know to have no choice.

Strelok said:

Yeah whatever you want,but the more I read "it doesnt matter how many ****s have been inside her" and the more I see how the brainwashing is effective.

Fine with spinning plates,I totally agree but when you finally wanna settle and have a family keep in mind that those lips are kissing your sons every morning.
I'm sure BJ would excuse me for using some of his lines,but certain things sounds to me as rationalization from people that know to have no choice.

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It's not that it doesn't matter. It's that it's fu*ked up for a dude, at 20 years old, to be sneaking through his girlfriend's possessions to find out how many men she's banged.

He's 20. He isn't settling down with a girl right now. He's not having a family. He's just needy, obsessive, and weird. Who does that?

Do I want to date a chick who's banged 20 guys? No. But frankly, any girl who I've cared about could have had that many partners. You never know what people are hiding. Besides, I wasn't creepy enough to ask. There are many closet wh*res out there. I can say it about myself....I've had more sexual partners than you'd guess by talking to me. I come off as professional, smart, and funny. Not whorish or a "player". Women might be the same.

So here's the deal: You meet a girl, you like her, she treats you well, she's faithful.....why go digging for negative info? That's my issue with this kid. What kind of obsessive weird mental issue would drive you to look through a girl's personal sh*t....especially considering that their relationship was otherwise great....

Mantis Toboggan said:

It's not that it doesn't matter. It's that it's fu*ked up for a dude, at 20 years old, to be sneaking through his girlfriend's possessions to find out how many men she's banged.

He's 20. He isn't settling down with a girl right now. He's not having a family. He's just needy, obsessive, and weird. Who does that?

Do I want to date a chick who's banged 20 guys? No. But frankly, any girl who I've cared about could have had that many partners. You never know what people are hiding. Besides, I wasn't creepy enough to ask. There are many closet wh*res out there. I can say it about myself....I've had more sexual partners than you'd guess by talking to me. I come off as professional, smart, and funny. Not whorish or a "player". Women might be the same.

So here's the deal: You meet a girl, you like her, she treats you well, she's faithful.....why go digging for negative info? That's my issue with this kid. What kind of obsessive weird mental issue would drive you to look through a girl's personal sh*t....especially considering that their relationship was otherwise great....

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It's ok Mantis I wasnt referring to you or the op,it was just a general speech.
My message to everyone was that the fact that most of the food is sh1t does not mean that you have to plug your nose before every byte.