Thinking of giving up my female friends ...

Firefly · Oct 23, 2010

So I went out with two HB9's that I am friends with. I thought I was cool just being friends with them because they gave me social proof, got me free drinks, helped me hook up with other women etc. I have also never made a move on them so I can't say they have rejected me in any way. Yet tonight, they met these two guys at the bar we were at, and decided to go home with them.

Now, I have absolutely no right to be upset because there is nothing between me and either girl, nor have I shown any interest in either girl. Yet, I feel oddly rejected and dissed, so much so that I am posting about it on this forum.

So opinions - does this mean I should ditch female friends in general? Is this a symptom of being a man and wanting to bone every woman I know, which means I will experience these feelings of rejection everytime a girl I am friends with hooks up with someone else? Any thoughts or opinions?

Ease · Oct 23, 2010

You were a gay best friend, and you weren't even gay.

When i see the non-sexual guy friend with 2 girls that me and my friend are going up to, i see him as a loser posing an obstacle.

I would never do this because i hate the thought of being with 2 girls who didnt see me as centre of attention. But being the gay-best-friend is not worth any social attention. Hands down i would prefer to go with with 2 cool guy friends, any day.

Firefly · Oct 23, 2010

Yeah, that is kind of the way I feel now.

The only downside is that they were pretty good as far as getting attention from other women, but maybe that is a crutch I need to get rid of?

Lucifero · Oct 23, 2010

:crackup:

You are LAME!

the305 · Oct 23, 2010

If you want average girls go play the numbers game and not waste time on girls who aren't down to bang you, but if you want the girls who make guys heads turn when they walk down the block you need insight, attractive qualities, and confidence, confidence comes from knowing WHAT WORKS. ALL of that comes with HAVING girl friends as REAL friends, not objects you use to try and advance your dating life.

Having girl friends and having these "girl talks" with them will give you invaluable information and insight into women and what they like, i get ears fulls of information on how creepy those guys were that approached them, time after time. You start to instinctively know whats attractive and whats not, you need to experience that first hand. You wouldn't believe how easy it is for me now to get chicks interested in me, just from being around girls and know what and what not to do.

This is extremely hard for guys to grasp because, we always want a GET RICH QUICK solution, meet a girl and bang her, if you want to get to that point to need to start with knowing what can make you bang her quickly, you don't learn that on a forum, you experience it first hand

Moral of the story. If you got butt hurt from your "friends" getting some action, they obviously weren't your friends.

AAAgent · Oct 23, 2010

see i have the same problem except they try to go home with me....over and over again. then when they lose interest they disappear.

zekko · Oct 23, 2010

So I went out with two HB9's that I am friends with.

You felt rejected because they were HB9s. HB9s are so hot that even though you were only friends with them, you had to want them for yourself on some level. It's only natural.

Firefly · Oct 23, 2010

So had a chance to sleep off the 12+ shots I had last night (all free, thanks to the female friends I went out with) when I wrote the original post, and am already embarassed about what a putz I was last night.

zekko said:
You felt rejected because they were HB9s. HB9s are so hot that even though you were only friends with them, you had to want them for yourself on some level. It's only natural.

Yeah, that is probably a part of it. They are both really hot, and even though I have not made the moves on either, there is a part of me that is hoping that I will get to sleep with them at some point (history is slightly my side, as I have slept with about 30% of my female friends at some point or other).

I am glad that I was able to avoid being afc around the girls and just acted cool when they said they were leaving with the two guys, unlike the other male friend who was with us and had a crush on one of the girls. Apparently, he followed them, trying to talk one of the girls out of going home with the guy by saying she was "better then that, she was special and deserved better". He apparently only left when they all started making out at 4AM. :crackup:

Firefly · Oct 23, 2010

the305 said:
If you want average girls go play the numbers game and not waste time on girls who aren't down to bang you, but if you want the girls who make guys heads turn when they walk down the block you need insight, attractive qualities, and confidence, confidence comes from knowing WHAT WORKS. ALL of that comes with HAVING girl friends as REAL friends, not objects you use to try and advance your dating life.

Having girl friends and having these "girl talks" with them will give you invaluable information and insight into women and what they like, i get ears fulls of information on how creepy those guys were that approached them, time after time. You start to instinctively know whats attractive and whats not, you need to experience that first hand. You wouldn't believe how easy it is for me now to get chicks interested in me, just from being around girls and know what and what not to do.

This is extremely hard for guys to grasp because, we always want a GET RICH QUICK solution, meet a girl and bang her, if you want to get to that point to need to start with knowing what can make you bang her quickly, you don't learn that on a forum, you experience it first hand

Moral of the story. If you got butt hurt from your "friends" getting some action, they obviously weren't your friends.

And this is the bit that makes me feel like the biggest shmuck. These girls have been objectively good friends to me - Willing to hang out at the last minute when I have been stood up on a date, are brutally honest when I ask for advice about relationships (one pointed out that a girl was not serious about me and was just flirting with me to make me her orbiter by admitting she did the same thing herself) and more then happy to act as wingwomen to help me pick up (One pretended to be interested in me once to help me score a woman at a club, and surreptitiously high-fived me while I was leading the woman back to my place

). They also provide me with invaluable insight into what does and doesn't work with women; even earlier in the evening, they were *****ing about a mutual acquaintance who was too obviously using Mystery Method techniques to try to pick them up. Yet, I got all crushed when it was their turn to get some action, just because I felt somehow insulted they didn't spontaneously decide to jump me without me making a move.

I know that some DJ's think that having female friends is a waste of time, but I agree with the 305 that there are still benefits to having them around. Besides which, despite all talk about how the friendzone is inescapable, I have found that I have ended up in bed with quite a few friends. I think the fact that I act as having no sexual interest in them personally, while acting as a sexual being towards other women in their presence and being sexually successful in their presence seems to work on some women ... Thoughts?

the305 · Oct 23, 2010

good thing you realized how valuable girl friends are.

this site is notorious for being ego driven, from being quick to "next" a girl if she doesn't respond to text message or two, to never befriending a girl if it wont lead to sex, because its a waste of precious time. All these tactics preserve the guys "ego" and dont focus on improving skill. How are you going to figure out whats wrong with your game, if you keep blaming the reason on the girls? You won't

If you want to really want to get good at this, check your ego at the door.

So far you are on the right track man! keep it up.

Prodigy746 · Oct 23, 2010

Firefly said:
So had a chance to sleep off the 12+ shots I had last night (all free, thanks to the female friends I went out with) when I wrote the original post, and am already embarassed about what a putz I was last night.

Yeah, that is probably a part of it. They are both really hot, and even though I have not made the moves on either, there is a part of me that is hoping that I will get to sleep with them at some point (history is slightly my side, as I have slept with about 30% of my female friends at some point or other).

I am glad that I was able to avoid being afc around the girls and just acted cool when they said they were leaving with the two guys, unlike the other male friend who was with us and had a crush on one of the girls. Apparently, he followed them, trying to talk one of the girls out of going home with the guy by saying she was "better then that, she was special and deserved better". He apparently only left when they all started making out at 4AM. :crackup:

Now that is a definition of bata males.

I think you did fine and if i was you i would continue being friends with them. If they are hooking you up with their friends and buying YOU drinks than why not be friends with them...

I am not gonna lie though, i am having a hard time believing a HB 9's buying drinks for another "friend" guy... as far as i know most HB 9's go to bar to get free drinks and get attention from other drunk guys. So if it is actually the other way around where you are buying them drinks i would definitely stop being friends with them.

f283000 · Oct 23, 2010

Firefly, there's nothing wrong with not having female friends. It's a philosophy that many of us live by (including myself). Let me tell you about it.

The reason for not having female friends is to simplify your life. You either have female acquaintances which you keep at a professional level or you got potential romantic partners. You rarely put yourself in the middle (friend) level because you rarely allow yourself to be put into situations that can make you fall into the friend zone. This is the benefit of the no female friends philosophy.

The first thing you need to figure out is what purpose women have in your life. I personally never enjoyed hanging out with women. I'm the type that likes to hangout with my guy friends to do guy stuff you know like play poker, drink some beer, go to the strip club, go to the club and dance with some b|thces etc.

For me women where always about romance. Frankly hanging out with a pretty girl is just worthless to me because I want to make love to just about every pretty girl that I see. So hanging out with women is out of the question I refuse to put myself into "hangout" situations with a woman i find attractive.

There's a lot of benefits to not having female friends like:
1. Less drama in your life: a lot less drama in your life. Delete all the # of females from your cell phone unless they are women you're gaming. Delete them from facebook/msn or any other social network you have.
2. Keeping your frame as a dj: You don't allow yourself to get into situations that put you in the friend zone. If a woman wants a piece of your time it needs to be on a date, just you two alone, no friends.
3. Increased sense of mysteriousness with you: Since you always keep women at a distance rather than trying to befriend them you always keep an aura of mystery around you. If a woman wants to get to know you she needs to spend her time going out with you (the whole premise of no female friends)
4. If a woman refuses your advances you delete her from your life immediately: no keeping cell phone numbers, no being friends with your ex or any female, delete them from your life unless you're gaming them/having sex with them. The moment they give you the friend card or disrespect you you should delete them.

Now there are situations that may confuse you. For example should you go to parties and befriend the girls there? The answer is NO! You are trying to change your mentality from a guy that is friends with women to a guy that only has women in his life for dating/sex. You need to change your interactions with women from keeping it professional/nice to trying to seduce them. There's no middle level (friendship) level. It might sound harsh but it does help developing a dj mentality and cutting out drama from your life.

Try it.

joe henny · Oct 23, 2010

I laugh hard at all these corny PUA's who feel they need girls as friends to get girls that's the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my life. No to get girls you need to be a real man think a REAL MAN. I couldn't see Indiana Jones, or James Bound needing to go to the club with a bunch of women to get women. No I see them stepping up to women who are choosing like real man.

When you waste time hanging with women who aren't choosing you then that's time that could be spent with women who are choosing you. Ditch the girls man.

the305 · Oct 24, 2010

joe henny said:
I laugh hard at all these corny PUA's who feel they need girls as friends to get girls that's the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my life. No to get girls you need to be a real man think a REAL MAN. I couldn't see Indiana Jones, or James Bound needing to go to the club with a bunch of women to get women. No I see them stepping up to women who are choosing like real man.

When you waste time hanging with women who aren't choosing you then that's time that could be spent with women who are choosing you. Ditch the girls man.

Me and my girl friends, laugh at guys like you on a regular basis,

My girls tell me this on a weekly basis "i dont even know that guy, why does he think i will go on a date with him"

the305 · Oct 24, 2010

f283000 said:
Firefly, there's nothing wrong with not having female friends. It's a philosophy that many of us live by (including myself). Let me tell you about it.

The reason for not having female friends is to simplify your life. You either have female acquaintances which you keep at a professional level or you got potential romantic partners. You rarely put yourself in the middle (friend) level because you rarely allow yourself to be put into situations that can make you fall into the friend zone. This is the benefit of the no female friends philosophy.

The first thing you need to figure out is what purpose women have in your life. I personally never enjoyed hanging out with women. I'm the type that likes to hangout with my guy friends to do guy stuff you know like play poker, drink some beer, go to the strip club, go to the club and dance with some b|thces etc.

For me women where always about romance. Frankly hanging out with a pretty girl is just worthless to me because I want to make love to just about every pretty girl that I see. So hanging out with women is out of the question I refuse to put myself into "hangout" situations with a woman i find attractive.

There's a lot of benefits to not having female friends like:
1. Less drama in your life: a lot less drama in your life. Delete all the # of females from your cell phone unless they are women you're gaming. Delete them from facebook/msn or any other social network you have.
2. Keeping your frame as a dj: You don't allow yourself to get into situations that put you in the friend zone. If a woman wants a piece of your time it needs to be on a date, just you two alone, no friends.
3. Increased sense of mysteriousness with you: Since you always keep women at a distance rather than trying to befriend them you always keep an aura of mystery around you. If a woman wants to get to know you she needs to spend her time going out with you (the whole premise of no female friends)
4. If a woman refuses your advances you delete her from your life immediately: no keeping cell phone numbers, no being friends with your ex or any female, delete them from your life unless you're gaming them/having sex with them. The moment they give you the friend card or disrespect you you should delete them.

Now there are situations that may confuse you. For example should you go to parties and befriend the girls there? The answer is NO! You are trying to change your mentality from a guy that is friends with women to a guy that only has women in his life for dating/sex. You need to change your interactions with women from keeping it professional/nice to trying to seduce them. There's no middle level (friendship) level. It might sound harsh but it does help developing a dj mentality and cutting out drama from your life.

Try it.

sounds to me like you guys have a insecurity problem and protect your ego with your little rascals "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" rule

OMG a girl not into into you for some reason RUNNN, even though shes cool, still RUNNN because we need to protect our precious ego.

grow a pair of balls

joe henny · Oct 24, 2010

the305 said:
Me and my girl friends, laugh at guys like you on a regular basis,

My girls tell me this on a weekly basis "i dont even know that guy, why does he think i will go on a date with him"

Your girls that your not "fvcking" laugh at guys like me who go up and pick up women from the club and fvck them? That's cool lol.

But on a serious note man. I have been a club go ever for some time now I have never ever needed women with me to pull the "hot women". Why would I? I have a few female friends, but I already know about women from the women I keep around in my life?

What is the purpose of having to hang out with a bunch of women to get women? I have gone to the club before with women before I really understood whole game and I can tell you it didn't bring in women. Most the time I was just labeled as the guy who is not fvcking them. The guy in the friendzone. So why do I need women to pick up women? I was under the impression the woman wanted me and not the woman.

Also you talk about your girlfriends saying they can't believe the guy tried to ask them out. The majority of women that go to the club go to meet men. So theres nothing wrong with getting the number to get to know them.

teacha · Oct 24, 2010

the305 said:
Me and my girl friends, laugh at guys like you on a regular basis,

My girls tell me this on a weekly basis "i dont even know that guy, why does he think i will go on a date with him"

me and my girl friends?! :crackup:

we get it you are trying to promote your products here and whatnot but please just stop with the BULLSH1T advice already. This is just too retarded to ignore.

joe henny · Oct 24, 2010

teacha said:
me and my girl friends?! :crackup:

we get it you are trying to promote your products here and whatnot but please just stop with the BULLSH1T advice already. This is just too retarded to ignore.

Yeah i laughed out loud when I heard that statement too. I find this viewpoint laughable to any normal human being in general.:crackup:

This is why I have very few female friends:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFPWWM2L0UY&feature=player_embedded#!

everywomanshero · Oct 24, 2010

I have lots of female friends. It's not a bad thing, I'd much rather hang out with a crew of females than a sausage fest anyday. The point isn't that I'd bone them, the point is that they provide people to talk to and hang out with. For me it's not an ideal hookup situation because well too close for comfort and people like to start drama but not everything relates to hooking up that's easy enough to do fairly annonymously and without the worry of creating a weird situation.

the305 · Oct 24, 2010

everywomanshero: agreed, a BY product of having girl friends is the party invites.. the non sausage fest parties.. overall fun times with cool people.. etc . the by product is, they hook you up with their friends, other girls see you and you dont look like a loser trying to pickup girls at a bar, you are already with some. its LAME if you befriend girls only to use them to get laid.

joe henny, techa: yes I have TONS of girl friends that i don't sleep with, I also sleep with 3-4 different girls a month.

i was in your shoes at one point, then i dropped my ego and started to realize it was only getting in the way.

Thinking of giving up my female friends ...

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