Windy City Chronicles

No one man should have that power

I'm tripping off your power, you made me feel whats most important in life the truthfulness in your post form the beginning in 2009 i thought i was 2010, the clubs are the same and feel the same pain and pleasure, hey i never been to club alone but often throughout the day I' am have the most fun, the idea of meeting new woman people in general keeps me going, i haven't been persistent but often complain of the results never complain without offering a solution, 21 ,full of energy & fellow chicagoan meeting up is must, i pmed you my contact info

Thanks Yuppaz. It is definitely added to the repertoire for future usage.

Thanks for the kind words too Kanye West lol. I'll hit you up later this week and we can run some day game or something.



Well fellas a lot has happened since we last spoke and at the same time nothing of substance. So we go with women. Sometimes you go from hot to cold in a matter of days. One day you got your d!ck out and the world is amazing and the next day you got your d!ck out and realize how cold room temperature can be. I know you all aren't getting that analogy but so let me backtrack so it makes a bit more sense.

So the day after movies, Renee texts me asking to use my computer. I tell her she can't come to my house coz of my relative is overly neurotic but I can go to hers. So we are sitting at her kitchen table reading our respective books. It was actually a pretty trying experience because she kept getting calls from guys and it took all the power in me not to pick up my phone and randomly text like I usually do in reaction to feeling ignored. I am working on not being so immature so yay me. She would tell the callers that she was preoccupied and would rush them off the phone after thirty seconds or so but still... definitely a red flag smh.

Fast-forward past the boring conversation and failed attempts at footise. My memory eludes me how it came about but the topic turns to sex and masturbation. She talks about how she has never seen anyone touch themselves. I tell her I am game but she gotta show me something first. She had talked about masturbating in the shower earlier and so I told her that's what I wanted to see.

She gives me the "Are you serious???" look and routine. She looks me in the eye and asks me the same question like three more times. I waiver slightly (its been too long, smh) but in the end I don't run from my statement. Next thing you know, the shower is running, her pants are around her ankles and I am helping her get her shirt over her head. All this and we haven't even kissed yet.

So after watching her with the water dripping in/off her, eyes alternating between staring at me and staring glassy-eyed in the distance while concentrating, I say fvck it, strip down and join her in the inviting water. We mess around til she comes and then exit the shower. I tried to take things further in the shower but to no avail. After that we hung out but no real sexual opportunities arise.

The next day, she asks to use my laptop again the next night. I head over but that night was pretty uneventful. She was sitting in my lap or doin some random sh!t like dancing in front of the mirror while I sat and watched. It is mostly a blur but I remember tryina kiss her to get the party started and getting nowhere.

Another moment that raised some eyebrows was that I randomly texted a friend. Nothing excessive just during a lull in the conversation, and she starts asking me "who I am texting?" and she makes a fuss before trying to backtrack and laugh it off. All this while she is about 3 calls and a handful of text messages in, smh. She is either extremely ballsy or extremely illogical. Actually I think she is both.

I look at her funny, shake my head, and put my phone away without answering her.

The next morning, we are texting and she asks me if I can cook her dinner. Uhhhhh say what? I make a joke out of it and then tell her I got no groceries. She tells me a burger will do and hints at an oral reward. Whatever. I don't reply for the rest of the day. The next few days we either didn't text or she was not talking so I stopped replying after like 2-3 messages. I checked to see what she was up to Saturday night and she was busy so I did my own thing.

Sunday rolls around and she calls me to shoot the sh!t. I don't really know what to say so I am quiet. It is not that I love her or even like her more than the average girl, but when someone goes from hot to cold, it throws ya for a loop. She tells me she is going to finish getting dressed and call me back.

Half an hour later around 12-1pm or so I get a call and she tells me she aint doing anything at all, with a pause afterwards for emphasis. However, I invite her to hang out the next day because I was planning on heading out to a festival that day and didn't want to take sand to the beach if you catch my drift. There was a little hesitation on her part and then agreed with it. A few seconds later she says she got a question. She wants to know if I can loan her money for her phone bill coz she missed work coz she was sick and didn't get paid blah blah blah. I make up an excuse about losing my credit card but I am pretty sure she got a hint because after I finished it, there was this awkward silence and when she started wrapping the call up, I burst out laughing. She tells me she is going to get dressed (again?) and will call me back but never does.

I started to feel a little bad because, well... I can really be d!ck. I have a habit of cutting 'em off at the knees at the first sign of trouble but lately I realized how insecure this can be. It is not healthy and doesn't allow relationships to potentially develop if I bail all the time. Personally, a woman asking for money from a guy when neither are them are in love is a red flag but that can just be my thought process. Things are hard in this economy so maybe I overreacted a little.

After thinking it over, I give her the benefit of the doubt and today I hold true to our arrangement and call her to tell her I am heading her way soon. The phone rings and goes to voicemail. I don’t leave a message and text her about 15 mins later asking her when we gon kick it. She texts me back instantly and asks to postpone it for about a hour and a half. I’m like ‘cool’ and take a nap.

She calls me about a 45 mins later, saying she just finished smoking and she is just laying in her bed touching herself. Okay I can take a hint so I get my sh!t ready and head out the door.

Okay I am seriously getting bored and the ending is anticlimatic so I am gonna go a lil sparse on the details from here on out.

While there, I go to the bathroom for like 6 seconds, look in the mirror, come back and this chick is looking through my phone.

What the Fvck?

She denies it and tries to make up some ignorant excuse. I take my phone and put it in my pocket. She is like “oh you don’t trust me anymore?” I could have said what was on my mind like ‘ Hahaha I never trusted you’, or ‘B1tch crazy’ but I kept silent. This sh!t might fly with these young, stupid relationships, but 'showing how much you care through insecure actions' is a quick way for a one way ticket out of my life.

Later, I indirectly find out that the reason she aint answer her phone when I called earlier was because she was smoking wit some dude at her house. Word? She also tells me this retarded story of how her and her friend went around acting like lesbians and went ‘wherever’ the wind went with some guys on motorcycles they met that night. (Note: Remind me to Elicit Values with the next woman I meet. She obviously did not know me and thought I would actually be impressed by her stories)

I think then, I realized then how retarded this whole situation was. No more playing with her hair or treating her with any kind of class. After that point, I didnt care who she is banging as long as I added my name to the list lol.

Long story slightly less long, my d!ck makes an unwanted appearance and from there the mood shifts and she tells me she is getting ready to go to a friend's house soon. It's the fourth quarter and I am down but not quite out, so I throw the Hail Mary and directly proposition her for sex and get declined. She gives me the “I can’t believe you asked that, sex is supposed to be blah blah blah” speech. Things get awkward although I try to downplay it (lol) I leave soon thereafter and delete her # before I finish the three minute walk to my house.

All in all, I aint losing any sleep. I know some guys reject the girls before they get rejected and blah blah, but her actions and stories made it clear that we are two extremely different people. She really thought that she was impressing me throughout our interactions but I was either indifferent or extremely put off by her stories.

I aint gonna front though, the way certain things transpired in our interactions that I skipped for brevity's sake, I can understand her being somewhat cautious about committing or allowing herself to maybe fall for me, but the overall sum of her actions equals retarded and I can find more sane chicks.

More when it happens

The moment i read that you bought the renee girl the popcorn and paid for ticket at the cinema, i wondered how that would effect the game.

Then she acted like a spoilt ***** and asked for money for her fone bill.

Hey Ease. In my opinion the act of paying for the movie ticket is not a big deal. Like I said before, I have been the kind of guy who cuts women off at the knees so my ego is detached from the gesture and result of the gesture. I don't feel used in the slightest because I know when things get out of hand, I can put my foot down like when she asked for the money for the phone bill. She has called twice and texted once since we last hung out but I haven't answered any of them. I'll probably answer the next one if she tries to get in contact again.

imaginemypotential: Last week I texted you to see if you wanted to run some day game but my phone showed the text message as not being delivered. Do you have text messaging features on your phone or have you had issues with receiving messages? Either that or I can add you to the list of fake #s I have gotten over my life lol.


Coming home from class yesterday, I hop on the subway, pausing in the aisle while I look for a good seat and then decide to locate near the rear of the cart. I plop down and dive back into the book I was reading. Within a few seconds this attractive woman with a bit of an edge about her says in a voice so soft that at first I question whether I was imagining it:

Lady:We seem to meet her all the time

Huh? I have no idea who she is but she is cute. She is wearing a strapless black dress and some heels, she looks classy with her hair pulled back but she has a few tattoos on that really throw off my ability to read what kind of person she is. I like how she looks and continue the conversation.

Macallik: Hmmm have we met?
Lady: Yeah in this very situation. Same spot and everything
Macallik: Oh really... interesting... so what did I say? (I have no doubt in my mind this is a case of mistaken identity but I have met cool peoples off of mistaken identity before so I just roll with it)
Lady: You didn't say anything we just sat next to each other on the train and you were reading a book like you are now. There was a woman with a little boy on the train and...
Macallik: Ohhh yea now I remember (I really do remember her, this is not me running with the mistaken identity routine lol)

We were sitting next to each other a week or so ago and there was a three year old in front of us. He was throwing a semi-tantrum which was met with indifference by his mother. After he realized he wasn't getting anywhere with his mother, in true Don Juan fashion, he stood up in the seat and started giggling and smiling at the woman sitting next to me. The child's mother looked at the boy, looked at the woman and then said in a nonchalant voice, with the slightest inflection of humor to the toddler, "Sit back in your seat, I think she is too old for you." Me and the lady made loosely-veiled attempts to hide our laughter at the mother's statement.

Looking back, she did strike me as being unique at the time because she looked to be Latina or Black & Latina which is rare on the train in South Side Chicago but when I saw her again, I didn't even remember her face. Obviously though, I made some kind of an impression for her to remember me and start a conversation randomly.

Danielle: So I always see you reading on the train huh. Same book?
Macallik: Oh nah. This is a different book actually. *Shows her the cover*
Macallik: Yeah it is about the stock market. I figure I will make a few million and retire. You know. Standard stuff.
Danielle: *laughs*
Macallik: So what about you, do you read at all?
Danielle: Oh yeah all the time.
Macallik: cool cool. So whats the last book you read
Danielle: last book I read... well actually I am reading a book right now called true to the game
Macallik: True to the game huh *chuckles* interesssting.
Danielle: *laughs*

She pulls the book out of her purse and I read the back cover. It is one of those African-American chick-lit books that I am guessing would involve at least one drug dealer trying to turn his life around, one corrupt rival drug dealer, a few shootouts, betrayal and an unsuspecting woman caught in the middle of it all as the main character. I can already picture how the author will attempt to make a statement about the err of characters ways in the last two pages as if that will atone for the author's glorification of these actions for +200 pages. But I digress lol.

We talk a bit more and then I slide over and introduce myself with a handshake. She is from Washington (the State) and has lived in Chicago for 5 years or so. She works at an elderly home I believe, but she was dressed up on the train because she gets tired of wearing the same t-shirt and jeans all the time. (Sounds like she needs excitement in her life *hint hint*) she didn't ask my age and I didn't ask hers but I would be guessing +27 years old.

When things quieted down, I would go back to reading my book and she would play with her phone. She did get a call/call someone who was picking her up at the train station. After the silences, I would kick myself for reading instead of talking and restart the conversation if she hadn't done so already. She was laughing a bit too hard at my jokes I noticed as the convo progressed and so after some contemplation I realized I would be regretting it if I didn't take a shot...

Macallik: hey what are you up to tomorrow.
Danielle: Uhhhh..... nothing i don't think
Macallik: Well there are showing a movie at the theater over in X. You wanna catch that with me?
Danielle: *slight pause* Sure that sounds cool.
Macallik: Okay cool cool. *hands her the phone to type her # into*

We talk some more and then my ass went back to reading the book. She got off the train a few stops later but I realized I hadn't given her my number and texted her after like an hour and a half but she didn't respond. Some older chicks don't have text messaging on their phones in my experiences so I haven't written her off just yet. I will give her a call around the time I believe she finishes work but I am not holding my breath on this one. Good practice though and nice to see an older woman taking initial interest in the kid.


So after my train success, I get off at my RedLine stop and whattya know. There is a cutie at the bus stop. I stare at her like she is the last woman on earth and we make eye contact for a few seconds before she averts her gaze. I catch her glancing through her peripheral vision a few times until some dude that looked and smelled like he just came from the gym stands between us. Boooo.

I get on the bus and there are a few potential seats for me to sit down at but because I am getting off soon, I stand near the backdoor exit. If you are familiar with the average bus in a metropolitan city, you know where I am talking about. The girl I was checking out gets on the bus and decides she would rather stand than sit, and that she would rather do her standing near the exit door, three feet away from macallik, facing macallik.



I can take a hint...



...but I couldn't bring myself to strike up a conversation on the bus with this girl three feet away from me, looking everywhere but in my direction when I stared at her on the bus. So I decide to be adventurous and so when she get off at her stop, ten stops from my stop, I am in pursuit, stalker style:

Macallik: Hello I....
Girl: One second *big smile and starts taking off her earphones* Hello
Macallik: Hi. I actually live waaay back there *points off in the distance* but I saw you on the bus and wanted to come say hello *chuckles*
Girl: Oh thanks, I'm sorry I made you miss your stop to talk to me
Macallik: haha it's okay. So what ya reading there? *nods at her Cosmo magazine and newspaper*
Girl: Oh just some stuff, I read a lot. I saw you had a book too. So what are you reading?
Macallik: Oh just some book on the stock markets. I doubt it is as interesting as your magazine though. No talk of untamed va-jay-jay's and the likes *smiles*
Girl: *burst out laughing*

and we are off. Turns out she has been in Chicago for two weeks and is working part time until her grad studies start in January. She told me I am her first non-work friend in Chicago and that she basically hangs out with relatives all the time so far since she has arrived. I walk her to her house and then grab the digits under the pretense of catching a movie in a few days (because I might have a movie date the next day which is now today).

More when it happens.

i sent you the correct number inbox me yours, that last cutie is a good catch( those who are fresh to town and looking for a good time)

What up Mac

I've been reading your journal on the low and your progress is getting better and better, I need to take a page from your book....

Good stuff keep it up

Okay fellas. Labor Day weekend is coming to an end and I am relaxing at home so I am gonna type up a quick update. Oh and thanks for the shout out Sollie. I feel more confident with women the last few weeks. Hopefully things are improving on your end in some way as well.

Cliffnotes on Danielle, the older lady I met on the train, she flaked like I expected. I called the number and it was real, ringing once before going to her personal voicemail. She has not responded and that was five days ago. Oh well, maybe if I see her on the train I can tease her for flaking and try and get a spur of the moment date going. Calling/texting her again would seal my fate imo.

Niecy, the girl that I met on the bus after meeting Danielle on the train, I haven't hooked up for a date with her yet. It seems like we have stuff in common according to text messages but she has yet to text me to start a convo and is the one to let the convo fizzle first. This weekend her mom came to visit her while I had some friends in town so I didn't even bother setting anything up. I could have texted her though just to keep myself on her mind. I will try and set up something sometime this week but signs point towards a flake in the cards so far... I will work on rapport.

Okay, what else do I got in the memory bank. A couple days ago Renee called me for the fourth time, around 9pm. I let it go to voicemail and then decided to text her. She replied to the first message with a one word answer and then didn't respond again. I guess she threw in the towel on macallik.

The next day I was sitting at the train station, reading a book and something told me to look up. You know that feeling that you are being watched or something is about to happen...

I glanced up from the book and who should I see but Renee trying to quietly walk around me undetected haha. She smiles awkwardly like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar, before sitting next to me. We struggle through small talk before the train comes. We end up sitting close to each other but not next to each other, in those first two sets of seats that face each other when you first walk onto the train. She was nervous or out-of-place I am guessing, because she dropped her papers and pen a few times while she was trying to study on the train.

It was kinda weird because neither of us made small talk and if we made eye contact, it was this undertone in her look like, 'Well are you going to say something about the situation between us?' and at the same time it said, 'Please don't talk about the situation between us' lol. Eventually I just texted her even though we were sitting almost within arm's reach, and made more meaningless small talk. Very high school of me. She got off at her stop and we said our goodbyes and haven't spoken to each other since.


For the rest of the week, I had some friends in town so that was fun although I wasn't able to take advantage of the 3-day weekend nightlife like I wanted to.

On Thursday I went to Subterranean and although the reggae music was nice, the girl quality was sh!t.

Friday, I went to Funky Buddha Lounge for their 'First Friday' party. I briefly met up with imaginemypotential at the club but we didn't really chase women together. We will probably do that later on this week. No success at that club either although there were some cuties there. So we go sometimes.

Saturday was a bust and Sunday I went movies. Good weekend overall though.

More when it happens.

keep with the positive energy and knowing that "you are enough....JUST as you are"... You da man Macallik, don't forget it

hey macallik,

I'm not going to say going to the movies are bad for a first date (or second) but you have waaaay too many options in Chicago for a first date than to take a chick to a movie. Maybe you should you have a a couple of default date ideas. For example taking her to a nice bar/lounge that has a pool table playing 1 or 2 games, having 1 or 2 drinks and then going for a walk. There is plenty of time to escalate that way, the walk will get her blood flowing and should create opportunities for kino.

Thanks Yuppaz. It is a perspective-changing feeling knowing I can meet a woman whenever I leave the house if I put my mind to it. As a result, I don't really put females on the pedestal after getting #'s like I used to. It takes more for me to emotionally invest in any interaction with a woman. On the flipside, that is why I have so many worthless numbers. No real attempt at a connections initially so flakes as a result. If I try for a connection more then I think my flake % will go down too.

Sigma335 whats up man. We gotta run some more day game one of these days. I agree with your advice. I got stuck being lazy with the dates. I was going to the Gene Siskel Theater which is a little bit more upscale and artistic than the regular movie joint but it is still an uphill battle going to the cliched, restrictive, movie theater as a date.



Not much new to report. Two weekends ago, me and imaginemypotential went out for a Friday or Saturday night. Chromeo randomly sent a pm to some college party which was okay. Not really into the amateur rap scene though. Everytime the DJ played a nice cut it was disappointing knowing that in a few minutes some dude would be rapping randomly.

I would normally poke fun at the rappers here in the journal but I am so indifferent to this scene now that I just tuned out and hit up the bar whenever the rappers took the stage. I don't even remember whether they were backpackers, crossover rapper/R&B singers or whatever else.

As for the overall scene, the guy:girl ratio was something ridiculous lol. I still managed to meet a few chicks, one in particular was decent. I got her laughing but not much else. Too bad coz she sounded like quality.. studied abroad, spoke other languages and some stuff that is too far in the past for me to remember. After 5-10 mins of talking, she had to go to check on a friend which is almost never a good sign so I went for the semi hail-mary and gave her my number. No call as of yet but I wasn't expecting it with the way the interaction concluded.

Later, as the night was ending I started talking to two chicks outside a CVS. I got a good response from the onset and I went for digits perhaps a little too quickly. Had a feeling it was fake when her friend started telling me her # before the target did. Tried it later as they lived in my area and suspicions concerned. Oh well.


Today I opened two women and one cute one opened me with a 'you look familiar' line but I couldn't segue into a decent conversation really. I was grasping for straws conversationally and ended up telling her how much I dislike smoking because she had a cigarette? Just a little rusty in the day game. Going to hit the streets a bit more to work on my consistency with second dates.

Yesterday I went to this warehouse function with imaginemypotential. It was cool as sh!t with performers and artists painting in the background as the socialites mingled. It was a great spot for taking a chick out on a date, but in terms of meeting a woman... well how do you say majority of the women were unattractive in hipster lingo? imaginemypotential had success but I didn't grab any digits of the girls I talked to. The girls I talked to weren't cute anyways, smh.

Earlier in the day, I went downtown during looking for cute girls. Uneventful for the most part but towards the end, I see a cute chick walking in front of me while walking underneath Chicago Theater on State Street. I thought she was glancing out of the corner of her eye at me. Somehow she slowed down and ended up behind me.

Here, my feet speak before my mind talked me out of approaching and I doubled back, telling her that 'I liked her walk.' And we are off.

I can't remember this part of the conversation but we walked for a few blocks before passing an Aldo store where she commented on how she has never been in the store because she has a shoe addiction and their prices are too expensive.

I convince her that they are not as expensive here as she believes and we go inside and check out shoes in the store together. She points to the shoes she likes and I ask her about her style as well as her opinion on certain shoes before busting on her for taking me to a shoe store to get me to buy her some shoes already. After that, we are walking on State St again and she says something about needing to go grocery shopping. I ask her 'why not now' or something of that nature.

Next thing you know we are in the cereal aisle of the CVS arguing what is better out of Honeycomb, Frosted Flakes, and Lucky Charms before we check out the other food in the aisle and discuss what we ate as kids -->family life discussion -->growing up.

She talks about her family and I find out that she grew up as the only girl, we talk about that and then I segue with, "speaking of boys... do you got any boyfriends waiting on you?" She says she is in a long distance relationship with a dude back in her home city. I ask her how the long distance relationship is going so far and she says good so far. I say, "Cool" and change the topic.

After a while Rudy says that the prices in the CVS are too expensive. I tell her that that is the problem with living downtown but she tells me that there is a that there is a grocery store nearby that she shops at. We end up heading to that store on foot which is from Monroe to Grand if you measure Chicago in L stops like I do.

So we are walking, decent rapport and a fun, flirtatious convo and I noticed she went out of her way to touch me. Like I am used to the playful hits after I tell a dirty joke or the constant brushing against each other as we walked but on this occasion, she told the joke and then draped her arms around my shoulders unnecessarily. From there I got the green light and started touching her more but I think I should have become a lot more physical/sexual/affectionate with my touching as time progressed.

She got a phone call or two of someone trying to figure out what was the plan for that night. I am assuming that it was a girl friend? Didn't have the right to ask so I just played with my phone while she talked briefly to the person. She told whoever that she was free and that she was currently doing grocery shopping but will be free later on.

We get to the grocery store and she just buys like two things. She refers to the things we are picking up as the things WE are going to eat but the way she alluded to whoever called on the phone, she had no plans for the night and was waiting for that person to call her to hang out somewhere.

After the brief grocery shopping trip, we head back to her dorm but this time we catch the train. The train was packed, barely any standing room as is the norm on weekends, or in general after cutbacks thanks to poor management of state funding. I was able to hold onto one of the poles to gain my balance and she held onto me for balance. I am pretty sure I felt her laying her head on my shoulder somewhere around there so I thought in my head "In like Flynn."

We get back to her place and walk past it and stand outside talking for a bit. After a while I say, "I am not sure if you are inviting me up to your place or not, but let me get your number in case you aren't" Very smooth *rolls eyes*

So I grab the digits and then she tells me to text her so that she can text me and have her number and then she just walks away. I didn't get a chance to hug goodbye, go in for a kiss, or anything smh.

I was just kinda stunned at how fast she peeled out of there. Anyways, I have been texting her today and she has been hitting me with the one word answers. She struck me as a hyper-social person so I wouldn't normally put any weight into our interaction but I firmly believe I made a decent impression as a suitor. I think she probably had second thoughts about any further interactions with me when she was alone and able to put things into perspective with a bf back.

I will work on being bolder both in terms of escalation and expectations. The whole approach lasted about two hours. Sucks that she now seems uninterested in Mr Macallik but it felt good finally following through with the instant-dates instead of just grabbing digits after 3 minutes.

More when it happens.

That was a kick ass set Macallik. Way to just roll with her. Your probably right that you could have probably just assumed to go to her place and let nature take it's course. Keep doing what you just did, assume the sale a bit more and get there. Her putting her head on you was a major DTF sign, don't feel too shy at any point if you are really feeling it to just make the move, go for the kiss, go back to hers and assume she's dtf etc.

Thanks Yuppaz, I'll definitely try and push the envelope for the next chick.

Bumped into Renee again a few days back. More talkative and less awkward this time. Not really interested in her other than as a friend. Turns out she got robbed waiting for the bus the other night. Sh!t is no joke out on the South Side.

Went out with Rudy yesterday. Supposed to go to a movie (I know, sh!t date, but I just couldn't find anything else to do) but we were running late and I honestly was not super interested in the movie as much as going out with a chick. We ended up at a Chilli's downtown. Started off a little splotchy but got some decent conversation going later in the night, but I realized that I feeling Rudy and I guess I was just bored. Listening to her and just watching her objectively made me realize that we are not that similar.

However, instead of just cutting off contact and moving on to the next chick like normal, I am going to LJBF her coz I can use some more female friends. I just need to not try to fvck just because I am bored, and also keep them from falling for me in general because, let's face it, I'm kind of amazing.

More when it happens

The other day, I ran into Niecy, the second girl in this post at the train station. We talked briefly while waiting for the bus and exchanged pleasantries like old friends in the 2-3 minutes before the bus came.

Later on I called/texted and we arranged to hang out during the weekend. I had previously tried to get together once or twice before but she is more of a stay at home kinda girl or something like that so that never panned out. This time she let me know she was going to be downtown shopping today and so I found a potential spot we could hit up. However, she said she was going out with her cousins and needed to be home for a nap by then so I decided to just come chill with her midday.

It was nothing spectacular but it was cool at at the same time. We met and got some Starbucks and just walked and talked for about an hour. She is a down-to-earth kind of girl, kind of straddles the line of the women I have met so far. She is not too crazy but she does have a bit of a wild side from what I can tell. She is not too proper but she is attending Grad school which I don't meet often in my travels.

After walking the streets and baring the cold, we headed over to the foodcourt on the 2nd (or 3rd) level in Nordstrom's Mall on Michigan Ave. We found a little corner with some plush seats and chatted. The conversation got a little deeper which I always like. I have never been a big fan of small talk or having the same convo with every woman I meet so I felt like I was doing something right when I asked her a question and she said, "Hmmm. No one has ever asked me that before, let me think..."

Looking back I could have improved on a few things like made it a more action packed date, more touching and steadier eye contact like I normally do when I meet a woman but I'll work on these things in the future.

All in all, Niecy definitely had some characteristics that I admire in a potential girlfriend. The interaction was going swimmingly but on the train ride home some stuff made me question things a little. Could just be negative thinking popping up. Oh well, I'm not pulling any Junior Seau and looking for the nearest cliff it doesn't pan out. At first I was a little anxious about the ending to our get-together but now I realize that although she is definitely cool to hang with and I would not mind taking things further, any rejection I encounter would be more of a minor blow to my ego than my heart. Maybe my feelings will change if we spend more time together, maybe we won't hang out with her again, maybe I get LJBF'd. Who knows?

All I know is that I can pick up some slack in a few areas of life at the moment and meeting women I want in my life is one of them. This is a step back on the right path.

More when it happens (and I mean it this time )

To paraphrase Nietzsche, the journey of life is like sailing a boat: You constantly make minor adjustments based on the feedback you get, and those adjustments affects the direction you head towards. The smallest shift might be meaningless or unintentionally at the time but it will have large implications in the long run. Well along my travels, when I shifted the rudder, I overdid it and have started drifting off-course...

I think I can pinpoint the change when I started looking for someone who I could enter a relationship with and decided to completely write off all women that I couldn't see myself becoming single for. I became too basic/nice/boring in my approach because I figured the woman that was relationship material would be more interested in more cerebral things and so I started talking about that kinda stuff. I lacked that flash and pizazz to an extent. I realize that now and I will adjust my game accordingly.

It has affected me in the club as well. Before I went to the club to get some phone numbers, molest some girls on the dancefloor, and slip my fingers in an unsuspecting vagina or two. Now I am content with basically regular grinding on a girl and a number or two if I'm lucky smh.

I have been so focused on getting the relationship/connection
that I have become better at holding a conversation but worse at building attraction/leading towards a physical relationship. What's even worse is that I have not even been trying to get some good ole fashioned pvssy because somehow I subconsciously convinced myself that pvssy is overrated and I need some kind of deep connection to be happy?!?!?!

Perhaps I will find something special with someone special down the line, but there is no need to not fvck girls that I find hot until I click with one chick. Plus what chick wants to kick it with a dude that they aren't tryina fvck? Everybody loves sex so it is only logical that a women want to think sexually about you to if they are attracted to you.

I don't want to come across as negative, because I am really a sh!tload more confident in myself. I am constantly looking for ways to improve myself and what I typed are ways that I will work on. I am out there trying to find middle ground between being a nice guy and and jerk, finding something with meaning with someone who means something to me without ignoring the beauty of hot meaningless sex with random hot female strangers. Finding that balance in these areas (and in general) is what life is all about.


Oh yea, I have been posting my approaches in Dee-zy's approach log coz I don't feel like taking up journal space with a bunch of random flakey chicks. I will work on getting more progress with chicks so that I can post follow up dates and the likes in this thread.

More when it happens.

Hey SSers. Have been getting back in the swing of things mentally. Nothing amazing to report but I feel like I am making progress and working towards something again.

The past few days, I visited my hometown and really realized how far I have come along based on what everyone else is on over here. Chicago is really a dog-eat-dog kinda place when it comes to women while in the small-town environment, everyone is 'slow-playing it' as my friends say... taking their sweet time and meeting women through mutual friends or by sheer unintentional luck. I feel like I could really run amok back home now if I was here for any period of time.

Tried one cold approach on this tall big booty chick but she ended up being 16 (yikes). I grabbed three digits in two nights. One girl was really interested it seemed but has flaked ever since. I got bored of trying to arrange a meetup and stopped texting/calling her. The next girl I met was DTF after I came in with the "only in town for a little bit so imma be straight up with you..." spiel but i bumped into her a few days later and i had beer googles on apparently. I might **** her when I'm drinking but otherwise nah. We were supposed to meet up for drinks the other day but I flaked.

The third girl I met the 2nd night. I decided to hang out with after my plans with the first girl fell through. Hanging out with her I find out she is 18 but I push through with sex on the brain. We hang out again and her stories are really not gelling with me. Like immature. Not immature in a condescending way, but immature like we are at two completely different points in our life. After listening to her talk about her previous relationships, it was obvious that she was a virgin. I asked her about it when we hung out the second time and she confirmed it. I figured it was going to be blue ball city but I gave it the ole college try anyways.

I brushed her hair to the side to start making out and she tells me not to touch her hair. Later on I just go in. I kissed her and she doesn't reciprocate and asks me why I am kissing her after she just put on lip gloss. She was cold so I told her to sit in between my legs and I'll keep her warm... she opts to put a coat on. She gets tired of sitting in the front seats, I tell her lets relocate to the back seat to stretch our legs. She declines.

Lol

The thing is I never got the feeling that she was intentionally shutting down my advances because of disinterest... she was just so damn in her head and insecure that she was nervous/afraid of my advances. I've had the same thing with a few girls before who subsequently fell for me hard so i didn't take it personally after some reflection.

On this occasion though, after all these failed attempts I just gave up and talked with her. She has probably one of the most stunted histories with the opposite sex that I have ever heard in my life. Then again, listening to her life in her first year of college and it is easy to understand why. She just doesn't do sh!t socially and lets her shyness dictate who she meets.

By the end of the date, I felt like I was trying to show someone on SoSuave the err in their ways than kicking it with a girl I was trying to get laid from. She was the girl who knew every love song on the radio but has never been in love. The girl who couldn't answer me when I asked what she wanted in a man coz she didn't have enough experience to formulate a response. The girl who acknowledges her defense mechanisms but doesn't do anything to counteract them. I guess I saw a little of myself in her although I couldn't get any of myself in her and that was what made me turn into big brother mode.

Will be back on the hunt when I return to Chicago.

Grabbed 8 digits on the streets/at the club NYE. Everything is a blur to be honest thanks to alcohol.

Some are flakes, some are out of towners, some are showing potential. I will have a write up if anything develops. I've been hitting the streets and getting numbers here and there but I have been too lazy to post about it. Meeting a woman and getting her number doesn't seem as groundbreaking nowadays.

Still a large % of flakes but a few more are sticking. I think I was too thirsty last year but now I'm back to doing me.

Random post. Sometimes I catch myself trying to be what I think women want instead of getting to know what they really want/being myself. I will keep that in check for the future.

Last week while cruising the mall for cuties, I bumped into a girl I had a class with last year. We talked and I flirted pretty heavy. She asked for my info and I gave her my #. She texted me today. A mini text convo and I found out that she has a 'friend' that doesn't want to commit to her.

I was gonna ask her what exactly she is looking for but then that would spoil the whole guessing game that is relationships in America. Half the 'fun' is not knowing where you stand with 100% certainty. Playing he loves me, he loves me not with daffodils or waiting for their horoscopes to come true and overanalyzing conversations that are are not supposed to have multiple meanings.

Not looking for a relationship with her but won't mind kicking it. As for NYE #s left,one chick I was supposed to hang with and she didn't pick up when I called. Another didn't remember me so I just am regaming her like she is a random # I got.

More when it happens

macallik said:

Random post. Sometimes I catch myself trying to be what I think women want instead of getting to know what they really want/being myself. I will keep that in check for the future.

Click to expand...

I do this @ times as well, its like you wanna model yourself to her ideal, so you while I qualify her I adjust my game on the fly for instance she isn't looking for players and someone who is serious. You switch up your tone that you don't go to bars and that you want a family etc.

This is why the "prize" mentality comes in, to often we as guy try to cater ourselves to chick when we forget about what we want My buddies and I hit the clubs this weekend, and I was meeting a girl in person for the first time. She was meh and my buddy is like "Dude Solo you can do better then that". It comes to a point were when you have been doing something so long you start settling and it's not a good thing. However you to be realistic as well

my 02.cents