I'm doing all the work?

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.Paradox.

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Have had two dates with a girl. I contacted her to set up both dates (it looks like it's going to be me to contact first for the third date as well), and I also initiated our couple make-outs on the second date. Usually this would strike me as low interest, but I could list several reasons why she doesn't, at least she doesn't seem to have, low interest.

?
 
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Warrior74

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And... you want her to be the man? Is that what you're telling me? You set the date up, you lead her into making out with you. You went for what you want and got it. She went for what she wanted by letting you progress. What are we talking about? Oh you want some chic who is completely gaga over you eh? Want some ego stroking eh? Look here is how it goes, you chase, she yeilds, later (after sex usually) you let her chase. ;)
 
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.Paradox.

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Warrior74 said:
And... you want her to be the man? Is that what you're telling me? You set the date up, you lead her into making out with you. You went for what you want and got it. She went for what she wanted by letting you progress. What are we talking about? Oh you want some chic who is completely gaga over you eh? Want some ego stroking eh? Look here is how it goes, you chase, she yeilds, later (after sex usually) you let her chase. ;)
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Honestly, I completely agree with you and I'm fine with being the man and initiating everything first, but at some point it starts to get redundant and it seems like I'm being needy. By redundant here is what I mean:

I contact her.
Funny comment, set up date.
Go on date some days later.
Wait a few days after date, contact her again.
Funny comment, set up date again.
Go on date some days later.
Wait a few days after date... (this is where I'm at)
 
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synergy1

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.Paradox. said:
Have had two dates with a girl. I contacted her to set up both dates (it looks like it's going to be me to contact first for the third date as well), and I also initiated our couple make-outs on the second date. Usually this would strike me as low interest, but I could list several reasons why she doesn't, at least she doesn't seem to have, low interest.

?
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Heh I am in the same boat where I have had to do all the leg work on the first two dates ( and for the third as well), but in regards to physicality, I have gotten further along. Its not low interest, it is just the game. Gotta keep at it especially if they are busy. She tells me all the time I am aggressive which is what you need to be too.
 
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.Paradox.

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Well, I'll tell you something that does actually bother me is having to wait for a text back. Yes, I joined the texting bandwagon since every relatively young person is doing it. Like today I contact this girl with some humor before I ask her out on a third date, and get a response quickly, next message I send I don't get a response back for hours (probably working so it's cool, and I saw the response when I left the gym), my third message is asking her out and guess what? Been hours, no response yet. Just like my first post, this would strike me as low interest, but I could list reasons why she doesn't have or seem to have low interest.
 
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yuppaz

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that's why texting blows. The person who cares least and responds slowest with the least frequency / questions / adjectives etc. has the hand. It's a crappy way to get things started with someone new, it really is. Next couple girls I'm gonna try no text game and see how it goes. Hate waiting for a response knowing the other person basically knows you want to hear back from them but is waiting to gain hand...sure easy enough to say that you were soooo super busy you couldn't spend 1 minute to respond (bs), but really you know it's bull so it does effect you on some level. I don't have my alert on text for that reason, I'm too responsive....just don't like to be rude and keep people hanging but it comes off badly.
 
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yuppaz said:
that's why texting blows. The person who cares least and responds slowest with the least frequency / questions / adjectives etc. has the hand. It's a crappy way to get things started with someone new, it really is. Next couple girls I'm gonna try no text game and see how it goes. Hate waiting for a response knowing the other person basically knows you want to hear back from them but is waiting to gain hand...sure easy enough to say that you were soooo super busy you couldn't spend 1 minute to respond (bs), but really you know it's bull so it does effect you on some level. I don't have my alert on text for that reason, I'm too responsive....just don't like to be rude and keep people hanging but it comes off badly.
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Well, I'd be inclined to believe that she's playing some game with me, but after the second date? I was expecting LESS games and bullsh*t at this point, not more...
 
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vatoloco

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.Paradox. said:
I contact her.
Funny comment, set up date.
Go on date some days later.
Wait a few days after date, contact her again.
Funny comment, set up date again.
Go on date some days later.
Wait a few days after date... (this is where I'm at)
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Where are the "I make out with her" and "I fvck her" parts?
 
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.Paradox.

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vatoloco said:
Where are the "I make out with her"
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During the second date... I was just trying to make a point with that post. Though I know that you're f*cking with me.

vatoloco said:
and "I fvck her" parts?
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Working on that...

I also just realized that none of these "wait however long before responding" games were played when I was asking her out for the first date.
 
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Young Juan

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Once you fvck her well, she'll start calling you.
 
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vatoloco

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.Paradox. said:
Though I know that you're f*cking with me.
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No dude, I'm not. Well... maybe a little. :D

My point is that if you don't escalate while you're on your 2nd, 3rd and subsequent dates, the chick will think that you're just interested in friendly outings and you will be placed in the FZ accordingly.

Closing (whether it's name-, number-, kiss- or fvck-) will tell you if she's interested or just out to waste your time and money. And even then, a woman with marginal IL will do all that just not be bored...

Anyway, it sounds to me like you're not having fun with this girl. If you're not having fun, why are you seeing her?
 
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.Paradox.

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vatoloco said:
No dude, I'm not. Well... maybe a little. :D

My point is that if you don't escalate while you're on your 2nd, 3rd and subsequent dates, the chick will think that you're just interested in friendly outings and you will be placed in the FZ accordingly.

Closing (whether it's name-, number-, kiss- or fvck-) will tell you if she's interested or just out to waste your time and money. And even then, a woman with marginal IL will do all that just not be bored...

Anyway, it sounds to me like you're not having fun with this girl. If you're not having fun, why are you seeing her?
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You have it right and wrong.

We have a lot of fun when we're together in person, in person it's great. But what I'm not having fun with are these games I'm having to deal with. Like I said, been on two dates with her, heavy and sexual kino on both, and we made out on the second date more than once, then I texted her her yesterday, one quick response, one slow response, and now no response when I ask her out on a third date.
 
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initiatorhater06

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.Paradox. said:
Honestly, I completely agree with you and I'm fine with being the man and initiating everything first, but at some point it starts to get redundant and it seems like I'm being needy. By redundant here is what I mean:

I contact her.
Funny comment, set up date.
Go on date some days later.
Wait a few days after date, contact her again.
Funny comment, set up date again.
Go on date some days later.
Wait a few days after date... (this is where I'm at)
Click to expand...
When i'm initiating and leading all the time, doing all the work, I feel like the girl is using me, taking me for granted
 
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vatoloco

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.Paradox. said:
We have a lot of fun when we're together in person, in person it's great. But what I'm not having fun with are these games I'm having to deal with.
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Well, if you're gonna be dealing with women, you're just gonna have to get used to this. Games are a common thing.


Like I said, been on two dates with her, heavy and sexual kino on both, and we made out on the second date more than once, then I texted her her yesterday, one quick response, one slow response, and now no response when I ask her out on a third date.
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Well, if she never replies, you'll have your answer then! ;)
 
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