A little announcement: I'm taking a little hiatus from this forum.
Let me explain why.
I joined this forum with a purpose: to get better with girls. I wrote everything down here that I went through starting at April 2007. That's almost three and a half years now.
The ones who have been reading from the start would tell that I have become a completely different person over those last three and a half years. A difference like black and white. No comparison, total identity change.
I found out that my problems didn't lie on the girl front alone. They were way, way, WAY deeper. I found this out on new years eve 2007. I still can remember writing this post on the 2nd page of this thread, with bloodshot eyes, a thundering headache, the feeling my organs were rotting away and the everlasting taste of blood and vomit in my mouth that I had for several days and just wouldn't go away.
01-04-2008, 04:00 AM
On new year's eve, i got sinfully drunk. I got into a fight, vomited all over the place.... and after that I felt like **** for 3 days. Couldn't eat or drink anything. Now almost half a week later, i start to feel relatively normal again. I decided to stop drinking for at least a month. Lets see how this affects me in general.
Sure, that sh*t is funny now I read it, but In retrospect, I literally nearly drank myself into a coma that night. I drove into parked cars on my way home and fell off my bicycle a dozen times. I got home with with my face covered in blood and vomit and bruises all over. I pissed myself and vomited in my sleep that night. Happy new year. Rock bottom, man.
It took that much to make me figure out that I had a lot of sh*t to deal with myself.
I started getting my life back from that point on and wrote everything down in the process. I greatly appreciate all the feedback I have gotten over the years (yea, it's been years now).
Today, I feel like a million bucks. I don't live life anymore like I'm watching a movie. I feel good about myself and I have natural confidence. I never thought I could ever turn out so good. The progress I made the last three years have been mostly focused on other things who were more important than girls. Like being happy with myself and not being full of fear, loathing and confusion all the time. And I am. Happy. I finally managed to figure it out after 23 years.
And yea, no much stories on girls yet. Oh well, I really don't care anymore about that. I constantly feel that I'm drawn more and more towards girls and that I slowly start to figure them out better. I draw this conclusion from the fact that every time I meet a new girl, they respond more and more positive and nice to me. It's becoming a natural trait and going out and meeting girls starts to feel like fun instead of scary, awkward and unnatural.
So why am I leaving the community for a while, especially since it looks like the tables are finally turning, you might ask?
Well, I will be honest. This whole pickup thing has become an obsession and that's never good. Nor does it yield success. I realize now that I pretty much ruined my own summer vacation because of it. I kept saying
"I don't give a **** about the outcome" etc. Well, that's true on the short term (I really don't care much about getting rejected at all anymore), but it wasn't on the long term. As stupid as it may sound, it came to a point where I didn't want to disappoint my readers. I'm talking about all you guys who've been reading this and been so cool with advice and positivity and sh*t. I just wanted to write down a good report with success for a change. I mean, I wrote down all the bad sh*t as well and you guys were kind enough to read it and comment on that, right? Again, this all might sound strange to some of you, but this has been the one place for more than
three years where I always could write down what was on my mind.
So yea. I got my life pretty much in order now, I'm doing great in college, which is something I never even could had dreamed of when I started this thread and I'm feeling good all round. I'm gradually drawn more and more towards girls and they are starting to like me more and more as well. It is starting to feel like a natural process for the first time and I have this feeling that it'll all be alright with the ladies eventually, for the first time as well. Right now as I'm writing this on this night on 13 September 2010.
I just think it'll be a healthy move for me to get outta here for a while. It's just not a good thing that I have 982 posts and actually care a little about my rep on here right now. I don't mean this in a negative way. This thread and the guys who I've talked with here have been a big part of my whole process. This was something I could hang on to and it has been important to me.
Don't worry, I won't be gone forever and when something great happens, I'll post it in here for sure even if it happens tomorrow. I owe you guys that much. I love you guys (you know who you are) and I wish I could buy you all a beer and drink it together like a bunch of good buddies.
Like Arnie once said: I'll be back.
Yea.
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