Copping with the fact that you have average looks

NeedToImprove · Sep 1, 2010

... or you are just plain ugly. I just can't stand it anymore, not having a girlfriend or being overlooked alot. It's tough when you feel alone and tougher when you are 34 and you look at the mirror and you can't help but weep and admit that you are a shadow of the man you were in your 20's when you at least got looked at by women and had girlfriends (not many but at least some).

Anyone who says looks don’t matter is lying. They do, how much just varies from person to person. And saying that traits like being intelligent or capable of creating great artistic things makes you stand out is just plain wrong, when compared with physical features. ITs hard to see the beauty in yourself until you find a person who loves you and sees that beauty, i think we all need some kind of validation from the opposite sex, when there isn't any it's because something is horribly wrong.

Warrior74 · Sep 1, 2010

Simple.
1. Date girls as ugly or uglier than you.
2. learn enough game and manhood skills that you can get a girl a notch or maybe two above.
3. Become a butterface. Have a jacked body. Dress like a million bucks.
4. Become famous or well known or wealthy (local celeb status)
6. Get radical plastic surgery
7. Travel to some third world country where your race/nationality plays in your favor.
8. Cry to sosuave about it and continue the way you have been going.
9. Post a pic so we can see how bad you really are and give you some tips to improve your look.

I'm below average in looks myself, game is the only thing that gets me laid when I try hard at it.

f283000 · Sep 1, 2010

Instead of crying about it like a sissy why don't you get your a$$ to the gym and improve yourself?

There are no excuses anymore. Not in this day and age where you can find a gym on almost every corner.

A couple of months of hard work at the gym, some fresh new clothes/haircut and you're back in business.

Iceberg · Sep 1, 2010

These guys are right. You start hitting the gym and jogging, next thing you know - just like magic - you'll start noticing the GOOD things about yourself and ignoring the BAD things.

"Wow. My biceps are getting kinda jacked."
"Whoa is that a 6-pack I see?"

If you don't like who you see in the mirror, there's actually a lot you can do about it. You just choose to go the whiny route instead of the pro-active route.

NeedToImprove · Sep 1, 2010

Warrior74 please clear some of your pms

NeedToImprove · Sep 1, 2010

and to you what is considered to be average and what is considered to be ugly?

Iceberg · Sep 1, 2010

NeedToImprove said:
and to you what is considered to be average and what is considered to be ugly?

And to you what is considered delicious, and what is considered bland?

What kind of question is that? Ask 100 people what is average and you'll get 100 different answers.

And here's the important question. Let's say that you ARE average - since that's what you want to hear - now what? What do you do? Are you supposed to sit around crying about it? Or are you supposed to improve yourself?

10 years ago when I said that my body was average, I started working out. When I saw that my life was average, I started traveling. It sounds like you want to whine about life without trying to improve it. We're not therapists here. We're all gonna tell you the same thing. You don't like something? FIX IT.

wasted-nick · Sep 1, 2010

If most girls valued looks over confidence and swagger, I'd never get laid. I don't think I'm necessarily ugly, probably a 6 or so. Still, I have scored quite a few women in the 8 to 10 range.

Look at all the ugly mugs who have hotties by their side... How many times have you asked WTF does he have that I don't?!

Be confident and make them comfortable and they'll cheese in their pants.

TIC · Sep 1, 2010

NeedToImprove said:
... or you are just plain ugly. I just can't stand it anymore, not having a girlfriend or being overlooked alot. It's tough when you feel alone and tougher when you are 34 and you look at the mirror and you can't help but weep and admit that you are a shadow of the man you were in your 20's when you at least got looked at by women and had girlfriends (not many but at least some).

Anyone who says looks don’t matter is lying. They do, how much just varies from person to person. And saying that traits like being intelligent or capable of creating great artistic things makes you stand out is just plain wrong, when compared with physical features. ITs hard to see the beauty in yourself until you find a person who loves you and sees that beauty, i think we all need some kind of validation from the opposite sex, when there isn't any it's because something is horribly wrong.

I understand where your coming from. What your saying kind of sounds like Steve Hoca, the TFL guy. These are his same points; looks matter mostly, we all need validation from the opposite sex, etc.

I'm much younger than you but my advice would be that you will never, ever get anywhere with the attitude that you are ugly. Chicks have a higher social iq than men and can tell even in the slightest sense if you are not confident with yourself. Once they find that out, your done. 34 is young. Put on your best oufit, (or get a new one) put on cologne and hit a club without worrying about being ugly. Even attractive guys get shot down MOST of the time. I think your still in the same boat as the rest of us

The Bad Ass Canadian · Sep 1, 2010

I didn't read the replies but the "looks don't matter is lying" line caught my eye.

Think of everything as a balance.

:Good looks = more chump-like behavior can be acceptable, and still get the chicks, but they still fall on their face when they act desperate, AFC, whatever...

:decent looks = need a bit more game, but chances are you're getting a lot of play, if you got your sh!t together.

average = you gotta man up, and get your affairs sorted. Your inner game, your outward appearance, your gym membership needs a renewal....

Ugly = same as above...

We all make choices and have to live with them.. You can choose to wuss out and ***** about the lack of play, or you can decide to be pro-active and get yourself together.

AFCchamp · Sep 2, 2010

I understand how you feel sir. My girlfriend left me for a far better looking guy many months ago, it's not easy to get over. It's a blow to your ego that makes you question a lot of things; trust in other people, your looks, etc.

I have a friend that's absurdly attractive, so much that women gravitate towards him when we go out. He literally doesn't do anything, he just stands there and women go out of their way to **** him. Another friend, who's only slightly less attractive, gets zero attention simply because the other friend is around. No amount of effort seems to change things if the other guy is around. It's observations like this that make me question the idea that looks matter less than I think.

DJDanny · Sep 2, 2010

Anyone who says looks don't matter is a complete and utter moron, that being said, anyone who thinks looks/money are the only thing that matters is even stupider.

Make that personality shine and you're set, unless you're a true man beast then your F'ed,

BigJimbo · Sep 2, 2010

34 is old for a male in America. A woman hits her prime at that age in America. You emasculated boys call them "milfs" and "cougars". The rest of the world calls them "momma". If you were 34 in most of the world you would be hitting the same discos as teenage girls. If you don't believe me just travel. Use your passport. Avoid English speaking places.

synergy1 · Sep 2, 2010

Most of us have average looks bro. If you saw me 10 years ago, one would probably say I was below average. i was grangly and didn't carry myself well. What do you expect when you put in the minimal effort? We all marvel at professional athletes or actors who pull tons of *****, but do we marvel at the utter dedication they put into their craft? Many have likely been to hell and back to get where they were and worked their tails off. I had to work my ass off to get bigger at the gym and learn what kind of cloths to wear. Now I look okay and am happy with it.

It comes down to you. Put in the time. From everyone with experience you will hear the same thing.

Kailex · Sep 2, 2010

NeedToImprove

You've been "coping" for almost 5 years now.

Everytime I see a post from you about your looks its like someone is stabbing me with a herpes-infested, gonorrhea inducing, red hot blazen poker right into the retina.

What you need to improve is your mindset. I've seen your pictures in the past, and I've seen guys who were way LESS attractive than you are pull women, simply because they have confidence.

But you don't have that, because you'd rather sit there and type away, like the sad little attention hor that you are and complain about how your looks are what is doing you in.

You'll never get it. Luke Skywalker's mantra has slowly possessed you.

vatoloco · Sep 2, 2010

San Jose California said:
Oh HAHA YEA simple!

Dude who the fvuck wants to do that?

LOL. People have to be realistic here. You got fat, ugly guys wanting to bang girls who look like supermodels/HB9+s. Sure, good luck with that.

The only way that's happening is if the guy has sh!tloads of money, is very famous and/or has a 12" schlong.

And that's IF the chick has no standards...

Bible_Belt · Sep 2, 2010

Kailex said:
NeedToImprove
What you need to improve is your mindset.

You'll never get it. Luke Skywalker's mantra has slowly possessed you.

I agree. I suspect the only thing ugly about the OP is his self-image.

blackwolf · Sep 2, 2010

Post A Pic!

Warrior74 · Sep 2, 2010

San Jose California said:
Oh HAHA YEA simple!

Dude who the fvuck wants to do that?

Plenty of people. You ever see to unattractive people dating? That is what normally happens in the world. People tend to date on their own level. That's normal. PUA/DJ's try to break out of normal. Plenty of people have gotten rich promising some ugly shmoes that they can pull a supermodel. It's great marketing.

But when you are like this guy, and I've read his post history, the problem is between his ears. It's a mental problem. Its a crippling self esteem problem. And maybe, just maybe, dating a less than average girl might give him some confidence that he can successfully date hotter girls.

Player Supreme used to teach the concept of a Starter Hoe. Like a Starter house, you don't plan on staying in it, you just want to build some value and move on to something better. Women are great at this. It's an ego boost knowing you can get someone, and it's preselection, you know, how you get more attention from women when you have a woman.

Radharc · Sep 2, 2010

You know what average look means? It means what most of the humanity alive have and has to play with. And I have some good news: we´ve managed to survive and reproduce so far. Why do you make it sound like it´s a crippling disabillity or something? Hell, even crippled ppl can pull women. So let´s not be disrespectfull to then by saying we have to "cope" with average looks.
I´ve seen some of your past posts, I think your problem is an oversized-starving-for-validation-ego. Just relax man, you´re lost inside your own mental labyrinth, going around and around. Break the cycle, try something different, re-invent yourself, get some therapy maybe (if you havent allready, in that case find a down to earth therapist). Quit being such a narcisist, women dont care for guys more entangled by their own reflection than themselves.

Copping with the fact that you have average looks

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