"I Can't Give You My Number, Cos I Don't Know You"

What does this mean?

I had a really good interaction with this girl yesterday. Considering she was a hot 8. Very well known within the town for her looks, studies Law, well-spoken and sought after, I put my nerves down and approached her. Luckily I knew OF her and approached with a familiarity opener. She smiled, and kept opening int he awkard silence moments.

I thought I had bagged it, we spoke for about 20 minutes. She said that I made her laugh and that was RARE from the guys she usually speaks too. Basically, the whole approach was SOLID.

When it came down to finishing up, I said We should Network, whats your number? She then proceeded with

I DON'T KNOW YOU, I DON'T GIVE MY NUMBER OUT TO PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW.

Even after a 20 minute conversation in comfortability, she still said this. So I said, FVCK IT, GIVE ME YOUR FACEBOOK AND I'LL ADD YOU. To take away any misconceptions.

Its annoying, probably better that way as she would've been a FLAKER if I hd gotten the number, BUT, I have no idea why she wouldn't give it during cold approach where she was comfortable and near enough talking to me like shes known me for years.

Clark Kent said:

When it came down to finishing up, I said We should Network, whats your number?

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Good.

She then proceeded with

I DON'T KNOW YOU, I DON'T GIVE MY NUMBER OUT TO PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW.

Even after a 20 minute conversation in comfortability, she still said this.

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Translation: "I DON'T [WANT TO GET TO] KNOW YOU, I DON'T GIVE MY NUMBER OUT TO PEOPLE I DON'T "KNOW" (aka "FIND ATTRACTIVE").

So I said, FVCK IT, GIVE ME YOUR FACEBOOK AND I'LL ADD YOU.

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So you settled for seconds? At that point you should have told her "Thanks for your time", turned around and walked away. So are you now gonna become a Facebook Orbiter, tell her she's beautiful and read about all the guys she's currently banging?

As a side note for those new guys reading, you never initiate a request to be friends on Facebook. When people want to network with me on FB, I tell them "Look me up on FB. My icon is [such & such]. Send me a friend request and I'll add you."

Yet another example of a broad not being interested and finding a "nice", "socially acceptable" way of turning you donw. . Just like the "We don't have anything in common" excuse, she was not interested in having you be yet another guy calling her and trying to game her. You made her feel more "confortable" than the average creep, yet there was very little value she saw in having future contact with you. You are just another of plenty of guys interested in her.

No big deal. Just be aware that just because they are not overtly rejecting you and continue talking to you, does not mean they are interested romantically/sexually in you.

By asking for her Facebook after she rejected your phone number proposal... you essentially told her: I am fine with being rejected and lowering my value.

You might as well told her that you were only interested in being friends and saying you wanted to see where it could go from there.

Like vato said: You were better served just walking away. You have now been added to her list of Orbiters on Facebook. Please, take a number.

vatoloco said:

Good.



Translation: "I DON'T [WANT TO GET TO] KNOW YOU, I DON'T GIVE MY NUMBER OUT TO PEOPLE I DON'T "KNOW" (aka "FIND ATTRACTIVE").

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You know, she kind've hinted at that too Vato. She said, I just don't give my number out to peoole I don't know, strangers. Then I proceeded to tell her tht Strangers Are Friends They Don't Know YET", then it slipped out of her mouth, I just wouldn't wanan talk to you on the phone. Basically I was trying to persuade her softly. Which I caught onto and STOPPED. I handled the turn-down great. I didn't even know she said it, thats why she was looking up at me to see if I would change my tone or body langauge.

So you settled for seconds? At that point you should have told her "Thanks for your time", turned around and walked away. So are you now gonna become a Facebook Orbiter, tell her she's beautiful and read about all the guys she's currently banging?

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No not atall, I suggested it because I got a lot of SOCIAL VALUE on my Facebook, especially from Hotter girls. So if she saw that, she would think twice about my intent or abundance. Not only that, but more IMPORTANTLY, I EMBRACED the rejection. She can be a misely friend on my list, I don't care. I don't do the whole comment thing on pics like the rest of those guys.

My friend had gotten her number 2years ago at a festival. Hes ugly, doesn;t get laid, but she has LOADS of boys as friends, self-proclaimed and she actully DOES. So, that could be one reason why he got her number then. ANYWAY, I think its safe to say, she wasn't ATTRACTED. Why? I have not got a clue, I've seen some of the guys she "hangs" out with and they're LOSERS. I guess I just wasn't that loser-type for her.

She'll see me again, sometime again and I'll be flicking ash at her whilst driving by. No prob.

So, your saying written-in-stone, that you should EJECT everytime your first proposal for a number gets shot down? Kailex.

I'm a firm believer in PERSISTENCE. Obama asked his wife out something, like 13 times I heard somewhere, no?

If you're saying eject everytime becuse of that, then what the hell is all this COLD APPROACHING, PU or DAY GAME sh1t going to do? NOTHING. Its a fact that you aren't going to meet your g/f out in the street on a cold approach, 90% of LTRs come from SOCIAL CIRCLES, anyhow.

Clark Kent said:

So, your saying written-in-stone, that you should EJECT everytime your first proposal for a number gets shot down? Kailex.

I'm a firm believer in PERSISTENCE. Obama asked his wife out something, like 13 times I heard somewhere, no?

If you're saying eject everytime becuse of that, then what the hell is all this COLD APPROACHING, PU or DAY GAME sh1t going to do? NOTHING. Its a fact that you aren't going to meet your g/f out in the street on a cold approach, 90% of LTRs come from SOCIAL CIRCLES, anyhow.

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The guys here are right and they explained you why,and better for you bigjimbo doesn't see this thread,he is not a friendly as Kailex when it comes to point things. :nono:

About obama,she probably agreed after 13 times because during the 13th trying from him,he was already in a good political position.

You just have to be more persistent and get her to lower her guard.

The Piano Master said:

be more persistent and get her to lower her guard.

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BULL..SH1T. She made her mind up, regarding her giving me her number in the first 30 second sof that 20 minute conversation dude.

No matter which way, I did it. Pulled out some magic-phrases and NLP out my a.ss. I wasn't getting that number that day.

Clark Kent said:

You know, she kind've hinted at that too Vato. She said, I just don't give my number out to peoole I don't know, strangers.

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If Brad Pitt/George Clooney asked for her number, would she give him the same line?

Then I proceeded to tell her tht Strangers Are Friends They Don't Know YET",

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Ouch! At that point you were indirectly begging. That's probably why she said...

then it slipped out of her mouth, I just wouldn't wanan talk to you on the phone.

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And they say women never tell the truth! Man, you should be thanking this chick for telling you right off the bat that she doesn't dig. Look at all the time, money and effort that she's saving you!

Basically I was trying to persuade her softly. Which I caught onto and STOPPED.

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I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that you caught you mistake. Most guys wouldn't have even realized that they were fvcking up. You get kudos for that. The bad news is that you were begging (although indirectly, it was still begging). Women don't respect men who beg.

No not atall, I suggested it because I got a lot of SOCIAL VALUE on my Facebook, especially from Hotter girls. So if she saw that, she would think twice about my intent or abundance. Not only that, but more IMPORTANTLY, I EMBRACED the rejection. She can be a misely friend on my list, I don't care. I don't do the whole comment thing on pics like the rest of those guys.

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The problem with this is that she doesn't care. She is not interested in you so it doesn't matter if you have the whole Kardashian group as your only friends on FB. The fact is that this chick didn't dig you enough to give you her number/e-mail.

This is one of the most powerful things that I have ever learned in my life as a former AFC and now DJ: Closing will tell me who's interested enough for me to give my time to. If she provides the info, she has a shot at me. If she doesn't, then she's saving me time, money and effort.

The only time that you can milk FB friends for social proof is if you can go out with them and post pictures of you two having a blast. Works wonders for me. I have an HB9 out of town friend who I go out with when she's in town and take pics with. We're FB friends so we tag them and then proceed to use them as social proof. The next day people are texting/messaging me "Who's that chick? She's really cute." "I didn't know you guys were dating!" "So when are you gonna ask me out?" That's the power of social proof on FB.

My friend had gotten her number 2years ago at a festival. Hes ugly, doesn;t get laid, but she has LOADS of boys as friends, self-proclaimed and she actully DOES. So, that could be one reason why he got her number then.

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Something that happens to HBs is that at first they give their number to many guys (they love the attention). However, they start getting a lot of AFCs and get tired of it. They then become very selective when it comes the guys they give it to (as in "you better be my type physically if I'm gonna risk getting AFC calls/texts").

ANYWAY, I think its safe to say, she wasn't ATTRACTED. Why? I have not got a clue, I've seen some of the guys she "hangs" out with and they're LOSERS. I guess I just wasn't that loser-type for her.

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Well, they might be losers to you but apparently they're gods to her. Why? Because that's what she likes.

There's this friend of one of my sisters who has two kids (two different dads; never married). I'd never get romantically involved with her (though she has a nice ass, maybe a ONS/FB if it developed...) but she once told me. "Man, if you were fatter I'd totally date you!" Turns out she's a chubby chaser who's not attracted to slim people like me. I confirmed it with my sister (yep, the dads were fat). Women. Go figure!

Clark Kent said:

So, your saying written-in-stone, that you should EJECT everytime your first proposal for a number gets shot down? Kailex.

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It's a proposal for a number. Not a date. Not sex. A phone number? Does it get any lamer than a girl who doesn't give out her phone number?

I could understand rejecting sex because it's "too soon". I could even understand rejecting a date if the girl is shy. But rejecting a number....for "networking"? The girl's a lost cause.

If you're saying eject everytime becuse of that, then what the hell is all this COLD APPROACHING, PU or DAY GAME sh1t going to do? NOTHING. Its a fact that you aren't going to meet your g/f out in the street on a cold approach, 90% of LTRs come from SOCIAL CIRCLES, anyhow.

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90% of your stats are bull****. All of my LTRs have come from me talking to girls that I had no social connections to.

As far as COLD APPROACHING - considering that these are girls that you're walking past in the street or seeing at a bar on a weekend night, how can you be "persistent" when you don't even know if you'll see them again? We're not talking about coworkers and classmates. A cold approach is someone you don't know at all.

Clark Kent said:

So, your saying written-in-stone, that you should EJECT everytime your first proposal for a number gets shot down? Kailex.

I'm a firm believer in PERSISTENCE. Obama asked his wife out something, like 13 times I heard somewhere, no?

If you're saying eject everytime becuse of that, then what the hell is all this COLD APPROACHING, PU or DAY GAME sh1t going to do? NOTHING. Its a fact that you aren't going to meet your g/f out in the street on a cold approach, 90% of LTRs come from SOCIAL CIRCLES, anyhow.

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Huh? 90%?

Since you're quoting statistics, can you please back that up with scientific research and statistics that will prove that?

I mean, you did throw out the word "FACT".

Because like Iceberg, ALL of my LTR's have actually come from either cold approaches or bar pickups or whatnot. I didn't have social circle LTR's. I might have hooked up some times with some social circle women, but I don't remember any of them developing into LTR's.

Also, do you know why I would give up if a request for a phone number is denied? Because at that point in time, you lose the frame. It shifts to her favor. And then it shifts even more towards her if you request some OTHER means of talking to her.

She already told you that she doesn't want to talk to you on the phone.

And please, don't use outliers or so called exceptions as a means to what YOU believe. It worked for Obama, but look at this board. Do you really see a lot of guys here saying they succeeded with a woman after asking them 13 times for the number?

If someone says "NO" to me within the first 20 minutes, I assume I'd be wasting my time and hers if I continue to persist. At that point, it's much easier to just cold approach someone else and start anew rather than try to regain the frame shift and bring it back towards you. She very bluntly said to you that she wouldn't want to talk to you on the phone, so why waste your time?

I see your angle with the Facebook, but it's time wasted, to be honest. I'd rather take my act to another place where it'll be well-received rather than stick in a town in hopes for people to warm up to me.


I am very excitedly awaiting all of the statistics stating that 90% of LTR's are from social circles.

Are you seriously trying to tell me that Cold Approaching has a high percentage of Hookups for the majority of males? You're all talk and no action. This is what this forum is now. Guys waffling and making field reports, how many of your co-workers do you know that make Fcking FR's in their spare time? How many FR's from this website, since you joined have you seen a SUCCESS STORY? I don't mean petty lays either.

The majority of males in OUR society get laid within social circle or work-relations. That is a seduction community FACT. I don't need to provide anything for you, google it and look it up yourself, you'll find it.

How did everyone of your friends and parents meet their current partner? You'll probably come up with a few examples just for arguements sake, ruling out the FACT at hand. Its usually the following, School, Work, Friend of a Friend and Family member. So who gives a monkey-a.ss if you had ONE girlfriend that you slapped hands with down the street? Is that the majority? You got lucky.

Thats why there aren't many NORMAL guys that you like to call AFCs doing cold approaching, much less being able to do it consistently and successfully. Cold Approaching and PU is based around the concept of "CHOICE" in the women you want to meet, marry and have sex with. Social Circle doesn't allow that.

Anyway, good luck with what ever you're venturing in, regarding women. I doubt I'll be here much longer, with guys who eject like frogs because they heard the word "NO". Either if you walk with your head held high or you're a beggar lowering your value, what is the end result? That your ego or self-worth wasn't THAT damaged? What a joke LOL.

AND SPARE ME THE ''IF BRAD PIT, GEORGE CLOONEY DID IT'' LINE, THATS SO FVCKING LAME. GET OFF YOUR SS BUBBLE.

Gangster Of Love said:

Just like the "We don't have anything in common" excuse, she was not interested in having you be yet another guy calling her and trying to game her.

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I love that excuse. It opens up a whole new opportunity to build more attraction and rapport.

her: "We don't have anything in common."

Me: "I think racism is terrible. What do you think?"

her: "Well.... yeah, of course."

Me: "No, no.... you said we don't have anything in common. Now you're just trying to get in my pants. Sorry, I don't date racists."

Clark Kent said:

Are you seriously trying to tell me that Cold Approaching has a high percentage of Hookups for the majority of males? You're all talk and no action.

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Are we comparing ourselves to the general population or to men who are actually successful with women?

These "90% of men" totally reliant upon social circles to get laid, probably max out at 5 sexual partners throughout their lives. Which is the problem with your "persistence" theory that sparked the original debate...

I'm pretty good with girls. And I'd like to stay that way. So if I can't get a girl's number, I'd rather move on than "persistently" wasting my time begging for it 13 times. Chances are, I won't see her 13 times to beg for it anyway. I don't operate within a social circle...my male friends are terrible with women, and the women within THEIR social circle are terrible. So persistence isn't an option. It's now or never.

The majority of males in OUR society get laid within social circle or work-relations. That is a seduction community FACT. I don't need to provide anything for you, google it and look it up yourself, you'll find it.

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Know what, dude. You're probably right. But as I said earlier, the majority of males suck at getting laid anyway. If Bubba from the cornfields of Kansas lives in a town of 50 people, then yeah. He's meeting girls at school, at work, and through friends. And that's how most people operate. I don't want to be like them. I want to be GOOD.

Which again, is why your version of "persistence" is faulty. Bubba in Kansas HAS TO be persistent because he has a small pool of women to choose from. I make myself available to a large pool of women, which gives me the ability to not have to play their games and jump through hoops to get them. "You don't want to give me your number? Good luck with that. Bye."

Thats why there aren't many NORMAL guys that you like to call AFCs doing cold approaching, much less being able to do it consistently and successfully. Cold Approaching and PU is based around the concept of "CHOICE" in the women you want to meet, marry and have sex with. Social Circle doesn't allow that.

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So why not break out of your social circle persistence shell and at least CONSIDER the concept of dropping a girl who's already dropping you? Maybe in your life you have time for these pursuits. I honestly don't. No exaggeration. I literally do not have time to pursue chicks who don't want me.

Sure maybe if I beg for 5 months, she'll get desperate and lonely and give me a shot. But f*** that. I don't have time to feed a girl's ego for months just so I MIGHT have sex with her which may or may not even be good sex. Great I wasted months on this chick only to find out that she sucks in bed and is a lame date. Sure glad I was persistent.

Oh and then there's this...

I doubt I'll be here much longer, with guys who eject like frogs because they heard the word "NO".

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This is what this forum is now. Guys waffling and making field reports

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GET OFF YOUR SS BUBBLE.

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I've been to sites I don't like before. And if I don't like the sites, I stop visiting. There's nothing gayer than the "I don't like your message board, and I'm gonna make a big dramatic exit" guy. You don't like it, then F'n leave. Some people don't like this site. Some people don't like cupcakes. Who gives a crap?

"You guys suck, blah blah"....okay. Well who sucks more...the people who are here because they enjoy it or the people who hang out here just to tell the site how much they hate it?

To the OP.

If you see her again just SMILE, wave, say hi and keep it moving unless she tries to talk to you. Then make small talk and keep it moving. Do that everytime you see her.

Don't write her off, or seem pissed off. Act like nothing happened and go about your business.

Don't ask for her number again.

Don't email or comment her Facebook.

Keep going after other girls and you'll forget about her and her "rejection".

You may wind up being surprised she eventually gives you her number on her own after she sees you didn't mind her first "rejection" and aren't stalking her on Facebook like every other tool.

And if she does. Just keep her number and don't call or text her. Let her initiate.

If she doesn't? No big deal. There are more important things to worry about in life than getting someone's phone number. She may subconciously be saving you trouble in which you'd be glad not to have gotten involved with her in the first place.

Naughty Ninja said:

To the OP.

If you see her again just SMILE, wave, say hi and keep it moving unless she tries to talk to you. Then make small talk and keep it moving. Do that everytime you see her.

Don't write her off, or seem pissed off. Act like nothing happened and go about your business.

Don't ask for her number again.

Don't email or comment her Facebook.

Keep going after other girls and you'll forget about her and her "rejection".

You may wind up being surprised she eventually gives you her number on her own after she sees you didn't mind her first "rejection" and aren't stalking her on Facebook like every other tool.

And if she does. Just keep her number and don't call or text her. Let her initiate.

If she doesn't? No big deal. There are more important things to worry about in life than getting someone's phone number. She may subconciously be saving you trouble in which you'd be glad not to have gotten involved with her in the first place.

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this is one of the hardest things i'm having to learn to do. when a girl rejects me, i don't sulk or poke my lip out, i just smile and say "ok then. well, have a nice day/ night". BUT if i see that same girl i will go out of my way NOT to talk to her. i don't give her an eat sh!t look, but i do NOT talk to her. now, if she comes up to me then i'll small chat but i only give short answers. all i can think about is her rejection and how it made me feel at the time. if a girl decided to give me her number AFTER she rejected me, i don't want it. case in point: i was out with some friends and there were some people i didn't know there with the group of us too. i'm standing there talking to a guy i know when this girl walks inbetween us sort of dancing. so, since we're in a club, i start sort of dancing with her since i figured that's why she walked in between us to begin with. i didn't touch her when i began dancing behind her, but she goes "ew no i have a boyfriend creeper".haha wtf? well later on in the night my friend Chad comes up to me and that same girl is standing next to him and he goes "hey man, this is Chassidy" and she goes to stick her hand out to shake mine and the whole time i'm thinking "are you f'n serious, you call me a creeper and now you want to shake my hand?!" so instead of shaking her hand i say "ew no, get away from me creeper, i have a girlfriend" and walk off.lol i know it was lame but it made me feel better about the whole situation so thats all that matters. i could care less what she thinks of me because she doesnt matter to me at all anyways. i see her sometimes when my friends are having a party and she'll look at me, but i do NOT talk to her at all whatsoever. i don't care if she thinks i'm the biggest d!ck or not. she can kiss my :moon: for all i care.

Robert28 said:

this is one of the hardest things i'm having to learn to do. when a girl rejects me, i don't sulk or poke my lip out, i just smile and say "ok then. well, have a nice day/ night". BUT if i see that same girl i will go out of my way NOT to talk to her. i don't give her an eat sh!t look, but i do NOT talk to her. now, if she comes up to me then i'll small chat but i only give short answers. all i can think about is her rejection and how it made me feel at the time. if a girl decided to give me her number AFTER she rejected me, i don't want it. case in point: i was out with some friends and there were some people i didn't know there with the group of us too. i'm standing there talking to a guy i know when this girl walks inbetween us sort of dancing. so, since we're in a club, i start sort of dancing with her since i figured that's why she walked in between us to begin with. i didn't touch her when i began dancing behind her, but she goes "ew no i have a boyfriend creeper".haha wtf? well later on in the night my friend Chad comes up to me and that same girl is standing next to him and he goes "hey man, this is Chassidy" and she goes to stick her hand out to shake mine and the whole time i'm thinking "are you f'n serious, you call me a creeper and now you want to shake my hand?!" so instead of shaking her hand i say "ew no, get away from me creeper, i have a girlfriend" and walk off.lol i know it was lame but it made me feel better about the whole situation so thats all that matters. i could care less what she thinks of me because she doesnt matter to me at all anyways. i see her sometimes when my friends are having a party and she'll look at me, but i do NOT talk to her at all whatsoever. i don't care if she thinks i'm the biggest d!ck or not. she can kiss my :moon: for all i care.

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All I can say is watch the Michael Jordan Nike commercial. It really makes you think about "failing" in a different light. There are no "failures". Only learning experiences. (If you learn from them.) You only "fail" when you don't try.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45mMioJ5szc

There are guys here with no prior-girlfriends/wifes before they joined or now with over 1,000 posts JUST to comment, without lookig into ACTUAL situations. Just basing it on what THEY, think they know. Always-right-know-it-alls. Can't be asked with em, SS probably has the most guys leaving here because of the KBJ stupidity. Somebody with over 1,000 posts with no current G/F surely can't be in the times? I have no TIME to get into essay wars with Iceberg and bring up tons of tons of ****sh1tted analogies. This place has lost all remnants of what the end-game is. I truelly believe some guys will be here till there death, lonely or just will not come out on top with their goals. Not me.

Just look on Encylopedia Dramatica on So Suave. I'm not moaning or winging, but this place can only help you so much. Good luck. Mods can you please erase my account. Thank You.

Clark Kent said:

There are guys here with no prior-girlfriends/wifes before they joined or now with over 1,000 posts JUST to comment, without lookig into ACTUAL situations. Just basing it on what THEY, think they know. Always-right-know-it-alls. Can't be asked with em, SS probably has the most guys leaving here because of the KBJ stupidity. Somebody with over 1,000 posts with no current G/F surely can't be in the times? I have no TIME to get into essay wars with Iceberg and bring up tons of tons of ****sh1tted analogies. This place has lost all remnants of what the end-game is. I truelly believe some guys will be here till there death, lonely or just will not come out on top with their goals. Not me.

Just look on Encylopedia Dramatica on So Suave. I'm not moaning or winging, but this place can only help you so much. Good luck. Mods can you please erase my account. Thank You.

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So you're posting to announce that you're not posting anymore? Doesn't get much gayer than that does it?