waiter flirts hard with my date

zekko said:

I agree dinner dates should be reserved for women who have earned it.
But I don't see why the term "provider" gets such a bad rep around here.
As far as I know, the ability to provide is one of the attributes women find attractive in men. What, do you think girls want homeless guys?

I know Tyler says that if a girl thinks you might be a provider, she may try to latch onto you long term and not have sex with you right away. Obviously this is bad if you are looking for a one night stand. But overall this represents her trying to be on her best behavior for you, putting her best self forward, so I don't see how it is that bad of a thing.

Now if the girl is just a golddigger, or if the guy has nothing else to offer (no masculine traits) obviously that it a different story.

Click to expand...

There is a common belief on this forum that any man who "provides" for a woman by spending money on her is a beta chump.
That conclusion is flawed because as Zekko said, a man's ability to provide is attractive to women. Men who have resources, or have the skills to acquire them will always be at a significant advantage in the great poon hunt.

There's something about you that the waiter sensed as weak. That's why he did what he did.

You should have made the b*tch pay half. Then you should have talked to the manager. That way, you would have paid nothing.

jophil28 said:

...a man's ability to provide is attractive to women. Men who have resources, or have the skills to acquire them will always be at a significant advantage in the great poon hunt.

Click to expand...

Women like to know that you can pay for things. Women don't like it when you try to "buy" their affection. Well, the "good ones" anyway!

jophil28 said:

There is a common belief on this forum that any man who "provides" for a woman by spending money on her is a beta chump.
That conclusion is flawed because as Zekko said, a man's ability to provide is attractive to women. Men who have resources, or have the skills to acquire them will always be at a significant advantage in the great poon hunt.

Click to expand...

Your logic fails to understand the difference between a man's "capacity" to provide and actually providing.

Just because you're able to provide for a woman, doesn't mean you go around willy-nilly spending money on every broad who flashes you a smile.

Yes, you always want to look like you're ABLE to provide for her (or any woman who strikes your fancy), but that doesn't mean you ACTUALLY have to provide for her. Don't be a "provider slut," make her try her best to earn it. Tell her that you're a very generous man, but only with those you know and love. Watch her try and try and try to become one of those you "know and love."

Just because you're able to provide for a woman, doesn't mean you go around willy-nilly spending money on every broad who flashes you a smile.

Click to expand...

I definitely don't think Jophil was suggesting that. Nor anyone else around here for that matter.

I think there's some differences in interpretation on what the term "provider" means around here. On one hand, it's a guy with resources. On the other hand, it's the guy who tries to buy affection. Obviously, the former is good and attractive, and the latter is setting himself up for being used.

People here tend to hear the word "provider" and want to automatically put "beta" with it. But that isn't necessarily so.

If you're going to be a provider, be a provider of human sausage and meatballs. :woo:

Joe Stud said:

Yes the above guys have good points. Practice a "take charge" personna. Look at alpha-macho type men and poise yourself the same.

When the check came, you should have said aloud: "well waiter, are you going to split this tab with me"? and when he asks what do you mean? say: Well you flirted with my date during dinner, so you should pay your share of the bill! Then all of you laugh. Walk out like you own the place.

Of course if you go to the gym, and develope a "scrappy look"... the guys tend to keep out of your way. Simple law of the jungle.

Click to expand...

HELL YES!!!!! I love it!!! That right there is absolute sure brilliance!! The other points about running the waiter around bringing $hit were also great as well. Then you have the power with your wallet.

Wow man you got sucked into his frame super quick. Not sucked in, you kinda just let the frame dominate you.

Should've been like this:

waiter: *acts like hes better than you*

you: whoa whoa, what's with the insecurity? i hope its not because you're a waiter. i used to be a waiter once, basically with no skills and serving people like a poor indentured servant just like you are right now. actually i was never a waiter, i'm mad successful. i could probably buy waiters like you easy. but don't feel bad, if you work hard and take your vitamins i'm sure one day you'll make something of yourself. now go bring me the wine menu.

waiter: might say some **** here

you: where's my wine menu? do I have to get your superior?

waiter: might say more **** but goes to get wine menu.

you: ah i changed my mind. get me the dessert menu, thanks kid.

by this point the ******* should know his place.

when you leave give him 1 penny as tip and say "here's a gift. don't spend it all in one place kid."
--

oh yeah then I would speak to the manager as some have pointed out, pointing out how unprofessional he was and how lesser men might be pissy or angry and attack him. i am worried for his safety because he doesn't seem too bright and will probably wind up dead messing with the wrong patron one day.

--

as for my date, if she is more interested in some clown. i will consider myself lucky and drop her like lead

you: whoa whoa, what's with the insecurity? i hope its not because you're a waiter. i used to be a waiter once, basically with no skills and serving people like a poor indentured servant just like you are right now. actually i was never a waiter, i'm mad successful. i could probably buy waiters like you easy. but don't feel bad, if you work hard and take your vitamins i'm sure one day you'll make something of yourself. now go bring me the wine menu.

Click to expand...

You guys are forgetting rule #1 in a restaurant:
Never mess with anyone who handles your food.
Haven't you ever seen Waiting?