When I See A Hot Girl, I Just Freeze

V

Violent V

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2008
Messages
279
Reaction score
8
Location
London
Seriously, i've got some humility and am going to admit this, because it will only help me get better.

I will talk myself up all day, and run through my head all the theories, all the techniques, all the journals i read here of people succeeding. The 3 second rule, act like you are the show, don't break eye contact and smile and all that etc

But the fact is that, when i find myself in that very moment, in that few seconds phase when i have just layed my eyes on that HB, my mind goes blank and paralyzed.

She will pass by and i will say to myself, why didn't you approach. And i will go on running through theories etc, and then it will happen again. And again

Any advice you guys have of overcoming this?
 
nismo-4

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,421
Reaction score
1,127
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
My 1,100th post!!! Yay!!! :rockon:

I'll make it real easy for you. Read my sig. Say it 10 times. Remember it when you see a 10. Then apply it. Do it all fearlessly, or you'll have a major uphill battle.

Women can sense fear and insecurity from a mile away. Be fearless. Alpha males aren't. They handle their f**kin' business. Handle yours.

Case closed. Good luck soldier! Over and out.
 
S

snowdog

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2007
Messages
1,217
Reaction score
70
Do like I did.

Walk up to every girl you want to and try to start a conversation. ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT ARE REALLY REALLY HOT.

Ask for directions or something. You gotta desensitize yourself. It's the only way. It's hard and uncomfortable, but you'll learn the most from situations that are hard and uncomfortable. How many times did you fell off your bike as a kid and got up and tried again? You kept doing it till you got good at it. Just keep at it bro, it's not rocket science. Everyone can do this.


I don't like the Pokemon analogy, because Pokemon is stupid.
 
Last edited:
O

Obameros

Don Juan
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
21
Reaction score
1
Ok OP, you need to re-wire your brain. I used to have the same problem, to the extent that I thought I would never change. All through out high school I never asked a single girl out because I was too afraid of what they would think of me and my lame approach.

First of all: Success isn't relevant, because your lack of success isn't the issue. It's your over-analytical mind that has been crippling you socially.

How do you solve this problem? Break your fear of making yourself socially vulnerable to people. Detach your self image from reality. Your new self image is a compilation of all the things you can remember that make you awesome.

Remember that one time you got an A on your 1st grade math paper?
You got that because you're f*ucking awesome.

Remember that one time you beat your friend in rock paper scissors THREE CONSECUTIVE TIMES?!
You did that because you're f*cking awesome.

Why did that hot co-worker give you a hug that one time before clocking out?
Because you're f*cking aweome.

Now you are the King of awesome and this world is your playground. Lots of places to go, things to see, and women to bang. Don't take yourself so seriously. You've got about 51 years left, and the clocks still ticking. What are you waiting for?
 
V

vatoloco

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2010
Messages
1,410
Reaction score
65
snowdog said:
Do like I did.

Walk up to every girl you want to and try to start a conversation. ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT ARE REALLY REALLY HOT.

Ask for directions or something. You gotta desensitize yourself. It's the only way. It's hard and uncomfortable, but you'll learn the most from situations that are hard and uncomfortable. How many times did you fell off your bike as a kid and got up and tried again? You kept doing it till you got good at it. Just keep at it bro, it's not rocket science. Everyone can do this.
Click to expand...
^^^
THIS

Back in my 20s I was your average AFC who's mind went blank and would freeze in the presence of any HB8+. I know I missed many opportunities back in the day.

After I started becoming a man (yes, becoming a man), I came to the realization that HBs take a sh!t just like we do and that they're not gonna kill me if I talk to them so I slowly started approaching them. I got shot down. Multiple times. But you know what? It got me USED TO walking up to HBs and striking up a conversation.

Nowadays it's almost natural to start a conversation with any girl (HB, average or ugly). Just shoot the breeze man.
 
K

kingsam

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2010
Messages
989
Reaction score
13
Location
England, baby!
Violent V said:
Seriously, i've got some humility and am going to admit this, because it will only help me get better.

I will talk myself up all day, and run through my head all the theories, all the techniques, all the journals i read here of people succeeding. The 3 second rule, act like you are the show, don't break eye contact and smile and all that etc

But the fact is that, when i find myself in that very moment, in that few seconds phase when i have just layed my eyes on that HB, my mind goes blank and paralyzed.

She will pass by and i will say to myself, why didn't you approach. And i will go on running through theories etc, and then it will happen again. And again

Any advice you guys have of overcoming this?
Click to expand...
A problem you have is that you are making it "outcome dependent"
i.e. anything less than getting lots of IOI's and her number is seen as a failure in your POV...

Re-frame so that NOT approaching is the failure (and when you open your mouth to them your already winning), dont get worried about numbers quite yet, just get experience in talking to the girls- being ****y an Funny and other banter types.

make this your first baby-step...and it will remove some of the preassure

in fact talk to all women and men in a ****y and funny way... get used to doing it and being confortable conversing with total strangers...
 
Vice

Vice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
2,006
Reaction score
186
I've been having a similar problem. And I think it's because I'm not anticipating running into an attractive girl, so then I'm surprised when one pops up around the corner all of a sudden.

The solution I've come to? Always expect your next girlfriend to be coming around the corner, and be prepared to interrupt what she's doing.

Oh, and another problem you might have is thinking of what to do/say. keep it simple. I usually walk up, tell them what I was doing in the few seconds leading up to when I saw her, and then ask if she is single, and take it from there. (ex. "hey, I was walking down the street and saw you through the window, and I had to come over and find out if you were single.") Field tested and proven. Just make sure you talk to her for more than a minute, I just realized this a little while ago.
 
D

Darth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2005
Messages
1,635
Reaction score
101
Age
34
Here is some more practical advice that has worked for me:

1. Do wind sprints 3 times a week
2. Do dips every day- on rails, between chairs, between bike racks...wherever convenient.
3. Eat a lot of peanuts (this I discovered accidentally).

When I follow this advice, I can approach anybody. It makes you strong and focused. I don't know why...
 
N

Neon Owl

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 10, 2010
Messages
324
Reaction score
1
Location
UK
Darth said:
Here is some more practical advice that has worked for me:

1. Do wind sprints 3 times a week
2. Do dips every day- on rails, between chairs, between bike racks...wherever convenient.
3. Eat a lot of peanuts (this I discovered accidentally).

When I follow this advice, I can approach anybody. It makes you strong and focused. I don't know why...
Click to expand...
How are peanuts going to improve your approach anxiety? lol
 
J

Just a Shot Away

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
648
Reaction score
19
Neon Owl said:
How are peanuts going to improve your approach anxiety? lol
Click to expand...
Ha, I was thinking the same thing...but hey, if it helps you approach I say more power to you no matter what it is.
 
A

Athos

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
49
Reaction score
1
Location
New Zealand
I feel I must reply to this thread because I had a similar problem.

Read this. I'm not sure if I was better or worst then you. I'd freeze, but it wasn't just "freezing", I could feel the anxiety building in me.

You need some deep inner game help.

Hypnotica, RSD Blueprint decoded will help.

And how I worked through it in my thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=174562
 
T

terran2k

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 13, 2010
Messages
298
Reaction score
18
your mind isnt blank, it's filled with thoughts of rejection and everything that goes with it, that's why your paralyzed with fear.
what's your intent when you want to talk to her? be a slick rick and be all smooth and seduce her? or meeting a new person?
take the pressure off yourself and just say Hello with the intent of just meeting a new human being.
If I were to tell you to go up to some random dude and say 'whuddup?' I bet you'd do it. try the same with a woman.
 
Vice

Vice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
2,006
Reaction score
186
Neon Owl said:
How are peanuts going to improve your approach anxiety? lol
Click to expand...
Testosterone levels.

Oh, and moderate your level of masturbation. There's a pretty epic thread discussing it on here, just don't do what I'm doing and blow it up into the center and cause of all of your problems in life.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top