My senior year and field reports

Dante420

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BongDuy said:
I thought it would be pretty cool and different to see a highschool perspective. i haven't seen any highschool Field reports, so if they are not allowed, let me know.

A little about myself.
My name is Duy. Im 17, and im from Vietnam. I don't speak the native language very well, but I can understand it very well and im learning day by day. I moved to America when I was around 3 months old, and I've never had great self esteem. I was never great with women. I was what you would call a AFC ( average frustrated chump) who would copy those romantic movies where the guy spills his heart and gets the poon. then i came to this site and it changed my whole prespective on things. at first, i thought it was a scam, because it was trying to sell a book and ask for my email. then i noticed it had a forum. I began reading the DJ bible ( best thing on the internet) and im slowly re- reading it every now and then to keep it fresh.

EDIT: because I wrote this after the first 5 days, everything may come off as jumbled and unorganized. sorry in advance. If there is anything i can do to improve my FR. let me know, i would love as many readers and critics of what i am doing.
Act like your Vietnam loyalty with strong connections back home, don't say that but come off like that
 

BongDuy

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I have no clue what it means, but it doesn't sound very significant.

November 8, 2009


I dont think i'll be hanging out with her today because she said something about "family bowling" yesterday. right now my main focus is two things.
1) Communication skills
2) Get that "the ball" in my court.

-Communication has always been a sticking point for me. Im working on getting more comfort and rapport building with her. There isnt much I can do here except try to Connect with her when we're alone.

-Part of getting that ball back is probably to make myself less available. It seems to me that I always make the plans with her, which may make me seem a little desperate to see her. I want her to invite me over, instead of me asking to come by.

Im trying to also think of "Power" moves I can throw at her. Basically just things to make her do for me, like Instead of me waiting alone for her in the hallways, come a bit late and see her waiting for me. Maybe instead of holding her hand when she wants, I just smile and make eye contact with her and don't do anything.

Am I over thinking things?
 

sageproduct

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1) Communication-quick tip, maybe you already do this but I just find that talking real slow adds that much more meaning to whatever you say and gives you more time to think about how to continue the conversation. Also, don't let a topic die. This can be hard to do if the person you're talking to is just an unresponsive rock but if there's not much going in the convo just keep asking questions about the topic and repeat what they said, hopefully sparking them to say more.
2) Power-all i've got is just a little gimmick, you could ask her to do some bull**** favor for you like bring you food somewhere or something.
 

BongDuy

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11.09.09 We all saw it comming

Morning
Finally got my haircut the other day, so i was pretty excited to go to school with a new "look". Skipped the breakfast and went to school, you know, the usual stuff. I talked to this guy named Justin for a bit, just working on my conversation skills. I was wondering, is there anyway to prevent yawning while you listen? im sure thats pretty rude to yawn when someone is talking about stuff, more importantly their passions like carving and being productive lol..

Monica
I noticed that I didn't get a text message last night, or this morning about Monica getting a ride from her family, so i assumed she was in school. maybe i was over thinking it, but i didn't want to call her because I was worried about coming off needy or something. I ended up not spending my morning with her at all.

During my 1st hour, I texted her in class asking whether she was in school. She replied with a simply "Yea". After class, I took a little longer than usual to get to the spot where we meet, and i walk her to her 2nd hour. I thought she would wait for me, but When I didn't see her, and kept walking towards my class, I didn't spot her at all. I just assumed she went along her own way.

Then came 3rd period, where I ran into her. I walk out of the class and I see Monica walk by. she sees me and I smile at her and she stops and waits for me. I start leaning in to kiss her but She puts her arm on my chest to stop me, and says the words " I think we should just be friends...." I had thought about how to handle this situation before, so I simply said " I agree, but i didn't want to say anything." even though that wasn't the truth. She asks " so you're not upset?" I reply " Nah." She hugs me, and walks ahead of me, leaving me alone to walk to class.

Yeah that's it, or so I thought. Personally, I saw it coming. Everyone following this thread saw it coming. I wasn't too phased by this, but as the day went on my view started to change on the matter. There was a part of me that was hurt, but because probably typical because I honestly wanted this thing to work. I was planning to Hang out with her this wensday when there was no school, to get to really know her without making a move. To just talk.

I thought it was my "making a move" ( The "move" I made Saturday, when she came by ) that scared her off. But as the day progressed, I heard some other stories.
Remember the name Shelby? I posted her a not to long ago, she was the girl that was good friend's with Monica and usually sees me and her walking together after 3rd period. The point is, I have her in my gym class 6th hour, so she comes up to me and starts talking to me about Monica. she says " yeah, i pretty much saw her walking alone, kind of sad, and i asked "wheres duy?" Then she says that Monica's reason for breaking things up was because we didn't communicate. She goes into a bit more detail, saying that I didn't Text or call her very much, which I agree.
I mean, i'm not much of a texter or caller, but when Monica did text me, i talked to her a bunch. I guess it didn't show much in person. Maybe I should of texted with her a bit more because it seems like i only texted her twice in this whole time we've spent together, or maybe even called her to hear her voice? I just didn't want to come off as needy or desperate. But theres this side of me that thinks that is total bullcrap excuse for breaking up with me for the "move" I made when we were alone in my room. If we really did have communication problems, She could of just talked to me about it. Then again, we are human afterall, so we make mistakes and over look simple things.

Personally, I miss having the feeling that I may get laid very soon. I miss having someone to kiss and make out with, and while I can get that with some other girls, It was just nice being exclusive. If I really had to be honest, I would say I want to be with Monica. Im cut whether or not I want to continue things with her, but the problem with that is She broke up with me, so Unless she says " I miss you." I'll come off as an AFC trying to get her back pretty much no matter what I do. Until then, it looks like im single. Im not sure how to handle her, because I see her in NHS, and when we go to carwashes, I see her too. Sometimes I see her in the hallway. My friend George says " This can either be awkward or not. If you talk to her like nothings happen, it won't be awkward."
I've read the "Just dumped" guide and how it says that I should cut off contact for sure, but really me and Monica weren't too deep in the relationship. I think if I just flirt with other girls infront of Monica, or maybe make eye contact every now and then, she will eventually come out and say she misses me, and then we can start from there. Atleast that's my game plan. The point is, I don't want things awkward between us, so i will say "Hi" to her in the hallways, or whenever I see her, but other than that I won't say much else.
What do you guys think?

In conclusion ...
Okay, so let's say things don't work out and we don't get back together. Atleast I've gotten a lot of experience. I know more about relationships than before, I've gotten used to kissing and making out/ reading when its a good time to kiss. I'm proud to say im past using " cheesy lines" to get the first kiss as well, and I'm knowledgeable about controlling the power in a relationship.

Also, if theres one thing I feel really strongly about is that she may doubt her decision. Like in the break up guide, a woman will most likely doubt her actions, and i support this by all her friends that talk about me, her coach loving me, me meeting her whole family, and all that delicious-ness in less than two weeks.

Some interesting notes...

When I was in my 4th period, This random black girl turns around to me and asks " Hey are you going out with Monica?" I simply reply by shaking my head. She says " Oh, you two never... made it official?" I don't say a word to her, I just kind of give her this shaking head that pretty much signified that we had just broken up. Before She stopped talking to me, she said " Oh, well All i heard from Monica's mouth was DUY DUY DUY DUY DUY, and then i realized that I had you in my class. but that was last week."
 
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DaSuaveMan

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hey duy, for the past week iv been reading your field report without an account and i have to say, you have improved since the begining. to tell you the truth your report "persuaded" me to make an account,lol. so good luck on ur journey =]
 

eaglez1177

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BongDuy said:
11.09.09 We all saw it comming

Morning
Finally got my haircut the other day, so i was pretty excited to go to school with a new "look". Skipped the breakfast and went to school, you know, the usual stuff. I talked to this guy named Justin for a bit, just working on my conversation skills. I was wondering, is there anyway to prevent yawning while you listen?not really, if you feel the urge to yawn, just try to hold it back. nuttin else u can do im sure thats pretty rude to yawn when someone is talking about stuff, more importantly their passions like carving and being productive lol..

Monica
I noticed that I didn't get a text message last night, or this morning about Monica getting a ride from her family, so i assumed she was in school. maybe i was over thinking it, but i didn't want to call her because I was worried about coming off needy or something. I ended up not spending my morning with her at all.

During my 1st hour, I texted her in class asking whether she was in school. She replied with a simply "Yea". After class, I took a little longer than usual to get to the spot where we meet, and i walk her to her 2nd hour. I thought she would wait for me, but When I didn't see her, and kept walking towards my class, I didn't spot her at all. I just assumed she went along her own way.

Then came 3rd period, where I ran into her. I walk out of the class and I see Monica walk by. she sees me and I smile at her and she stops and waits for me. I start leaning in to kiss her but She puts her arm on my chest to stop me, and says the words " I think we should just be friends...."ohhh sh*ttt I had thought about how to handle this situation before, so I simply said " I agree, but i didn't want to say anything." even though that wasn't the truth. She asks " so you're not upset?" I reply " Nah." She hugs me, and walks ahead of me, leaving me alone to walk to class.well you definitely handled it the right way thats for sure. You made it seem like it didnt phase you at all. I know it sucks, but still, very nice job

Yeah that's it, or so I thought. Personally, I saw it coming. Everyone following this thread saw it coming. I wasn't too phased by this, but as the day went on my view started to change on the matter. There was a part of me that was hurt, but because probably typical because I honestly wanted this thing to work. I was planning to Hang out with her this wensday when there was no school, to get to really know her without making a move. To just talk.

I thought it was my "making a move" ( The "move" I made Saturday, when she came by ) that scared her off. But as the day progressed, I heard some other stories.
Remember the name Shelby? I posted her a not to long ago, she was the girl that was good friend's with Monica and usually sees me and her walking together after 3rd period. The point is, I have her in my gym class 6th hour, so she comes up to me and starts talking to me about Monica. she says " yeah, i pretty much saw her walking alone, kind of sad, and i asked "wheres duy?" Then she says that Monica's reason for breaking things up was because we didn't communicate. She goes into a bit more detail, saying that I didn't Text or call her very much, which I agree.it seems like monica is one of those attention *****s. dont give in to that.
I mean, i'm not much of a texter or caller, but when Monica did text me, i talked to her a bunch. I guess it didn't show much in person. Maybe I should of texted with her a bit more because it seems like i only texted her twice in this whole time we've spent together, or maybe even called her to hear her voice?Now your overthinking it. Your texting and calling with her was fine; your just over analyzing cuz your worried u didnt text/call enough. Trust me, the real problem was the stuff that happened in person I just didn't want to come off as needy or desperate. But theres this side of me that thinks that is total bullcrap excuse for breaking up with me for the "move" I made when we were alone in my room.Nah the move you made was not the reason she broke up with you. Thats a very weak reason for Monica to break up with you, heck, its a weak reason for any girl to break up with a guy. If Monica TRULY liked you, and truly wanted to be with you all the time, she wouldnt care enough to break up with you if you tried to go down on her when she wasnt ready. She wouldve just done what any other girl wouldve done: give LMR, or just politely say "no". Trust me, there was a much deeper reason as to why she broke up with you, its been something that has been a recurring problem since you guys have gone out: your conversational problems with her in person. Its clearly obvious, like monica stated to shelby, that you two just didnt connect on the mental level. Simple as that. You may have connected physically, but not mentally, and a strong mental connection is what helps hold relationships together. If we really did have communication problems, She could of just talked to me about it. Then again, we are human afterall, so we make mistakes and over look simple things.

Personally, I miss having the feeling that I may get laid very soon.I didnt think you were gonna get laid too soon anyways. I miss having someone to kiss and make out with, and while I can get that with some other girls, It was just nice being exclusive. If I really had to be honest, I would say I want to be with Monica. Im cut whether or not I want to continue things with her, but the problem with that is She broke up with me, so Unless she says " I miss you." I'll come off as an AFC trying to get her back pretty much no matter what I do.DO NOT try to get her back. Until then, it looks like im single. Im not sure how to handle her, because I see her in NHS, and when we go to carwashes, I see her too. Sometimes I see her in the hallway. My friend George says " This can either be awkward or not. If you talk to her like nothings happen, it won't be awkward."He hit the nail on the head. Your biggest job is to act like everything is all fine and good, and just be all happy and your normal self. DO NOT show any signs of weakness, sadness, any of that stuff. Be normal.
I've read the "Just dumped" guide and how it says that I should cut off contact for sure, but really me and Monica weren't too deep in the relationship.doesnt matter dude. you HAVE to follow that guide. Please. I think if I just flirt with other girls infront of Monica, or maybe make eye contact every now and then, she will eventually come out and say she misses me, and then we can start from there.Noooo! See!? Your already thinking up plans to get monica back with you! Thats not good! Thats a sign of one itis! There is NO GOING BACK, and you have to understand that!! Atleast that's my game plan. The point is, I don't want things awkward between us, so i will say "Hi" to her in the hallways, or whenever I see her, but other than that I won't say much else.
What do you guys think?

In conclusion ...
Okay, so let's say things don't work out and we don't get back together. Atleast I've gotten a lot of experience. I know more about relationships than before, I've gotten used to kissing and making out/ reading when its a good time to kiss. I'm proud to say im past using " cheesy lines" to get the first kiss as well, and I'm knowledgeable about controlling the power in a relationship. Good. Use this entire relationship thing as a learning experience

Also, if theres one thing I feel really strongly about is that she may doubt her decision. Like in the break up guide, a woman will most likely doubt her actions, and i support this by all her friends that talk about me, her coach loving me, me meeting her whole family, and all that delicious-ness in less than two weeks.

Some interesting notes...

When I was in my 4th period, This random black girl turns around to me and asks " Hey are you going out with Monica?" I simply reply by shaking my head. She says " Oh, you two never... made it official?" I don't say a word to her, I just kind of give her this shaking head that pretty much signified that we had just broken up. Before She stopped talking to me, she said " Oh, well All i heard from Monica's mouth was DUY DUY DUY DUY DUY, and then i realized that I had you in my class. but that was last week."If people ask you about the breakup, just act like it doesnt phase you at all. Just reply with "Yea we broke up...doesnt really matter much to me though" Be very nonchalant, and just shake it off. Dont say "Yea she broke up with me", just say "Yea we broke up"
Please, PLEASE, follow the "just dumped" guide. That will help you out sooooooo much and is DEFINITELY the right way to act regarding this whole thing. Just think of Monica as some random highschool fling; its really nothing special at all, so just get over it, and game more girls.
 

BongDuy

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11.10.09

Morning and Social proof.
Spent my morning with Brenda ( old one itus) and Kristina ( Brute ), just talked, blah blah nothing interesting. As the bell rings, We all stand around for a minute and then we head off together. At first, I walk ahead of them, and then for some reason, i get this weird idea to grab Brenda and make her walk me to class. I walk back, lock arms with her and say " You can walk me to class." She complies and follows my lead, leaving her friends behind. We talk about nothing interesting, and we make it to my hallway upstairs. She says something about my exgirlfriend ( something similiar to " I hope your gf doesn't mind") and i reply " What girlfriend?". She gives me this shocked look and kinda gasps, as she immediately asks " What happend?!" I didn't say anything to her, I hugged her, and pointed to my cheek for her to kiss. She kisses it and i walk away to wait for my teacher to open the door, and say " goodbye". She follows me and continues to ask about Monica and Im pretty sure I replied with " idk." She gives me sympathy by going " awwwh!!! it's okay duy!", hugging me, by keeping eye contact with me.

I guess the moral of the story is I used Brenda for Social proof. Im thinking this is a good idea, since im avoiding all contact with Monica, so if her friends see me with other girls, they will think im not hung up on Monica.

The Coach

So im in my 4th period, talking to Marissa. She changed from Marissa - Potential girl, to Marissa - Friends. I decided it would be pretty cool to have a just friend's relationship with a girl, instead of always trying to get in her pants. She usually comes to me for ex boyfriend advice/ general conversation. I don't mind it at all. I ended up telling her about my "move" on saturday, and she just laughs and tells me that everything will be okay. She tells me that during lunch yesterday, Monica told her Volleyball coach ( The one i had an interview with ) about my "move" on saturday as well. I couldn't help but laugh my @$$ off, I thought it was funny. I asked her what the coach's reaction was from " Goody Good Asian" to " typical Guy" status. She actually said she wanted to tell my Swim coach that I wasn't a "good boy" like he had told her. I kind of want to play with fire, and walk by her portable just to say " Hi." and see what she says.

Jackie Little Mexican Girl who i met at the homecoming game
I haven't seen or heard of her for a while, but from her facebook page she entered a relationship with some asian guy. I didn't really say anything to her, but I was hanging out with my friends George and Ricky during lunch and Jackie came along and sat at the far end of the bench. She looked fine and dandy, then when I walked away for about 5 minutes and come back, I see her head in her hands, and she looks like she is crying. As she raises her head up, Her nose and face are red, and she looks pretty upset. I approach her and kinda talk to a friend infront of her for a minute, and he tries to give her some sympathy. He pretty much pats her on the back, plays with her hair and walks away. I figured I might as well give it a stab at making her feel better, so I start walking towards her with my arms out, about to give her a hug. At first she doesn't look very glad to see me, so I step to her left side, and say " this hug is special because usually i would never go 100% out of my way to hug you" She smiles and when I hug her, she puts her hand on my back, so she seemed more warm to my entry. I don't ask her what shes crying about at all, instead I suggest that she come tag along with me and my friends to the beach, and she replies " Maybe." We start talking a bit more, and we compare sidekicks, Since we have the same model but hers is broken and beaten pretty bad. I show her mine, and tell her that my phone is much better because of the game "Tetris" That I had on it. She asks to play it and I make her say " Please ", twice. She plays it and I start teasing her a bit by saying " Hey, you're not that bad.." she lightens up and by the time the lunch bell rings, she is smiling and her "red-ness" is gone. I tell her to hug me and she stands up and gives me a hug, which we hold for a few seconds. Maybe I should of walked her to class, or had her walk me to class, but its whatever. I ended up saying goodbye and just walking away.

The best Friend
Im in 5h period, just chilling by myself. Im watching my friends do their thing, just doing whatever and im in my own world. I spot Sam walking by and I immediately had a feeling that she would approach me, which she did. Sam is Monica's Best best friend. She's a lesbian and Monica always talks to Sam, so I knew Sam knew what was the deal with Monica breaking up with me. As she approachs me from the side, she gives me this funny look, so while she is nodding her head, she is smiling, sending the " you dirty boy" look. I smile at her and say " i'm only human" She says " I don't blame you." I looked at her and acted surprised " You know?" and she replies " well of course, I am Monica's best friend. I was the first person she told." I asked her " So was that the reason why Monica broke things up?" and she replies " Yeah". She goes on by defending monica, saying that she is really really new to dating, so when I pulled the "move", she freaked out, paniced and had no idea what to do besides reject me. I couldn't help but agree, because Monica is very very innocent. Sam then goes onto explaining that she thought that dumping me for trying to go down on her wasn't a very good reason to break up.
She then asks if I miss her and my exact words are " Honestly? I miss her a little" She does the typical Girl reaction, and goes "aww" My friend George is also in this conversation and asks if i've talked to her. When I reply I haven't seen her at all today, he replies " Aww, sh1ts gunna be awkward now, because you're suppose to talk to them immediately afterwards." Im just following the "Just got dumped" guide right now, so i just pretend to listen when he explains why, so i don't get confused and start catching old feelings for Monica. George then asks " Do you want her back?" I give them a vague answer, im not sure. Let's just say I said " Idk." George's response is " its a yes or no question, there isn't a middle." Sam agrees, and then more people jump into the conversation.

This pisses me off because it's nobodies damn business, but they try to continue the conversation. I'm thinking that if i ejected mad, or pissed, that it will show that Im hiding feelings for Monica, so instead i sit there and let everyone just talk. I end up not answering George's Question and it luckily goes unnoticed. Sam then looks to me and asks " Do you want me to talk to her??" My instant reply was a " nah, just forget about it. Let it go." She scolds me by saying " you're a typical angry male, you know that?"

I know Sam well enough to say that She will tell Monica everything I told her. She even threatened me by saying " If you don't talk to her, I will". I mentioned how monica told me I was going "slow" and jumped into the relationship, so Monica will now know.

Late Night EDIT: Not very significant

Anna That asian girl who seemed pretty upset when she realized I had a girlfriend
So i deleted her off of aim to keep me from trying to msg her, because it was going nowhere. Today, she noticed my status on fb went from relationship to single, and she decided to try and find out what was the deal. I simply told her I broke up with her, in which I kept all the details out. While I was talking to her, some "PUA" on facebook send me this poem he said was guaranteed to get a girl to like you, and that he uses for "Sarging". I decided to mess with Anna and I sent it to her, saying I wrote it for her. She ends up reading it and saying " I hate you", and even though it was through AIM, i knew she was joking. I start telling her that it was from a friend of mine that likes to brag about his "gaming" skills, and we have a good laugh about it. I then jokingly suggest that I take her photos, make a fake facebook and add him, just to mess with him
and she says " I'll hate you foreever!!" and i reply " You already hate me." She instantly replies with " no i actually like you, so stfu!". Idk if she did this on purpose or not, but i replied " haha that's cute." and she goes " wait, what?!"
I decide to let it go and continue on with my conversation, but I thought it would be interesting to post. She's currently lurking my facebook, trying to find my ex girlfriend and why we broke up. My lips are sealed though
 
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BongDuy

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11.11.09 Veteran's Day

Just a notice: Nothing interesting happen today, so think of this as a "Spoof" or just a fluff episode of my Senior year reports. Just wanted to let everyone know to keep you guys from reading this huge @$$ story

So idk about everyone else, but school is out for today so that left me with plans to go to the Beach with some friends. unfortunately, it rained and everyone chicken sh1t out, and made their own little plans or have just been MIA. I decided around 12:00 PM that i didn't want to be home all day so i started to text a few people and I ended up talking to Edith ( Spanish girl from California/ I met her at homecoming game and homecoming )
Long story short, She gives me her address and i tell her that we will hang out with some friends, including Brenda.

It turns out everyone is busy or something at the moment, so Edith says she is on her way to my house. Im excited but at the same time i have no clue what to do with her over my house. Should I make a move on her? Talk? Dry hump her leg? Im totally clueless because I usually never have company over, let alone girls. I figure i'll let it roll and prepare myself by taking a shower and cleaning my room up.

Edith
She shows up at the end of my street, walking in the rain. I get a call to come out and show her where my house is, and i tell her to hurry in. At first I was clueless on what to do, I mean really, I had no idea what to do. I greeted her and told her to come in my room. She steps in and compliments my room, saying how nice it is and how it smells great. My mom right now is putting my Niece to sleep, so she doesn't meet her. At first, she sits on my bed, and im sitting in my chair. I put on the latest episode of Family guy from a website, and I sit next to her. Eventually, I take the initiative and sit on my bed, against the wall with a pillow behind my back, and i share some pillows with Edith. She sits kinda far away, and I didn't make any attempt to move towards her until later on. I eventually Change what we're watching from Family guy, to the movie " 50 first dates".

That's when I started to wonder, what are the telling signs from a girl that she is bored of a movie? I thought maybe that if she was playing with her purse, checking her phone, or just slouching she wasn't very excited to see the movie.

It turns out she saw the movie a few months ago, so she wasn't as into it as I was. Because we were watching it on Megavideo, it stopped halfway, and made us wait an hour to continue watching. She comments on how " Beautiful" it is outside now that the rain has stopped, and I take the initiative to say " let's go outside" and walk around. We walk around aimlessly, and I get a bit of kino going on here. She tries to make this angry "man" face while she flexed her arms, and I "corrected" her by putting my arms around her and making sure she had the right posture. We walk more, and we just talk about whatever. We get to the park, and we take a seat across from each other on a bench. I take a stab at "deep rapport" by trying to build a connection on her past. We talk about school, her first day, her future, and I try to make the best of it.

Eventually, I decide its time to move on, and we stand up and walk around the park and head to my house. Once we get back, she has a seat on my bed and we talk. as we layed down, She brought something up about memory and I say " You know what would help you with that memory?" and i hit her playfully with a pillow. We get a lot of kino here. I eventually sit on her and we playfully laugh. I begin to tickle her and she tries to tickle me. Even though for some reason, i wasn't ticklish at that moment, i lied and said " stop! im very very ticklish!" as she continued the kino. As we continue to watch 50 first dates, I place my feet ontop of hers and say " you make a pretty good footrest" and she says something about how people use her for all sorts of other things ( like a napkin, or towel. get your mind outta the gutter people :p ) I playfully take her hand and say you mean like this? and i play sharades with her hands and pretend to eat a hamburger, taking her hand to lightly pat the side of my face.

As the movie came near the end, Edith ended up spoiling the whole thing for me and i playfully said " oh my god, i can't believe you ruined the whole movie for me!!" I playfully cover my face with a pillow and pretend to ignore her. She pokes my bellybutton and we joke around some more. Alright, theres nothing really interesting here actually, im just telling this story for no reason, because I didn't kiss her or anything. In my mind, there was my gut telling me not to kiss her, which I listened to. It was a 90% don't kiss her and a 10% im horny, let's kiss! It wasn't just the fact that I may get rejected, but something just told me not to kiss her. not to make that "move". I ended up driving her home because I couldn't let her walk home. She texts me later saying " im sorry! but thanx for the riide!"

Long story short, im getting better at the kino, because we had a bunch of pillow, tickle fights, & playful touch. now my focus is just building Rapport ( Comfort & Trust ) and keeping a conversation very interesting and unique. That's my current goal. Sometimes I notice a girl will talk, and when she does she gives multiple "Threads" that you can use to start a new conversation. Sometimes a little too many, and I end up getting overwhelmed and lost on where to go next.
 
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eaglez1177

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Time to digest

BongDuy said:
11.10.09

Morning and Social proof.
Spent my morning with Brenda ( old one itus) and Kristina ( Brute ), just talked, blah blah nothing interesting. As the bell rings, We all stand around for a minute and then we head off together. At first, I walk ahead of them, and then for some reason, i get this weird idea to grab Brenda and make her walk me to class. I walk back, lock arms with her and say " You can walk me to class." She complies and follows my lead, leaving her friends behind. We talk about nothing interesting, and we make it to my hallway upstairs. She says something about my exgirlfriend ( something similiar to " I hope your gf doesn't mind") and i reply " What girlfriend?". She gives me this shocked look and kinda gasps, as she immediately asks " What happend?!" I didn't say anything to her, I hugged her, and pointed to my cheek for her to kiss. She kisses it and i walk away to wait for my teacher to open the door, and say " goodbye". She follows me and continues to ask about Monica and Im pretty sure I replied with " idk." She gives me sympathy by going " awwwh!!! it's okay duy!", hugging me, by keeping eye contact with me.Yea I already went over what to do if ppl ask you about her

I guess the moral of the story is I used Brenda for Social proof. Im thinking this is a good idea, since im avoiding all contact with Monica, so if her friends see me with other girls, they will think im not hung up on Monica.good

The Coach

So im in my 4th period, talking to Marissa. She changed from Marissa - Potential girl, to Marissa - Friends. I decided it would be pretty cool to have a just friend's relationship with a girl, instead of always trying to get in her pants. She usually comes to me for ex boyfriend advice/ general conversation. I don't mind it at all. I ended up telling her about my "move" on saturday, and she just laughs and tells me that everything will be okay. She tells me that during lunch yesterday, Monica told her Volleyball coach ( The one i had an interview with ) about my "move" on saturday as well.wow. she told her fvcking volleyball coach? I couldn't help but laugh my @$$ off, I thought it was funny. I asked her what the coach's reaction was from " Goody Good Asian" to " typical Guy" status. She actually said she wanted to tell my Swim coach that I wasn't a "good boy" like he had told her. I kind of want to play with fire, and walk by her portable just to say " Hi." and see what she says. Lol go for it

Jackie Little Mexican Girl who i met at the homecoming game
I haven't seen or heard of her for a while, but from her facebook page she entered a relationship with some asian guy. I didn't really say anything to her, but I was hanging out with my friends George and Ricky during lunch and Jackie came along and sat at the far end of the bench. She looked fine and dandy, then when I walked away for about 5 minutes and come back, I see her head in her hands, and she looks like she is crying. As she raises her head up, Her nose and face are red, and she looks pretty upset. I approach her and kinda talk to a friend infront of her for a minute, and he tries to give her some sympathy. He pretty much pats her on the back, plays with her hair and walks away. I figured I might as well give it a stab at making her feel better, so I start walking towards her with my arms out, about to give her a hug. At first she doesn't look very glad to see me, so I step to her left side, and say " this hug is special because usually i would never go 100% out of my way to hug you" She smiles and when I hug her, she puts her hand on my back, so she seemed more warm to my entry. I don't ask her what shes crying about at all, instead I suggest that she come tag along with me and my friends to the beach, and she replies " Maybe." We start talking a bit more, and we compare sidekicks, Since we have the same model but hers is broken and beaten pretty bad. I show her mine, and tell her that my phone is much better because of the game "Tetris" That I had on it. She asks to play it and I make her say " Please ", twice. She plays it and I start teasing her a bit by saying " Hey, you're not that bad.." she lightens up and by the time the lunch bell rings, she is smiling and her "red-ness" is gone. I tell her to hug me and she stands up and gives me a hug, which we hold for a few seconds. Maybe I should of walked her to class, or had her walk me to class, but its whatever. I ended up saying goodbye and just walking away.

The best Friend
Im in 5h period, just chilling by myself. Im watching my friends do their thing, just doing whatever and im in my own world. I spot Sam walking by and I immediately had a feeling that she would approach me, which she did. Sam is Monica's Best best friend. She's a lesbian and Monica always talks to Sam, so I knew Sam knew what was the deal with Monica breaking up with me. As she approachs me from the side, she gives me this funny look, so while she is nodding her head, she is smiling, sending the " you dirty boy" look. I smile at her and say " i'm only human" She says " I don't blame you." I looked at her and acted surprised " You know?" and she replies " well of course, I am Monica's best friend. I was the first person she told." I asked her " So was that the reason why Monica broke things up?" and she replies " Yeah". She goes on by defending monica, saying that she is really really new to dating, so when I pulled the "move", she freaked out, paniced and had no idea what to do besides reject me.Psh so what. Welcome to life. Monica is a senior in hs and shes new to dating and guys? I find that extremely strange. I couldn't help but agree, because Monica is very very innocent. Sam then goes onto explaining that she thought that dumping me for trying to go down on her wasn't a very good reason to break up.
She then asks if I miss her and my exact words are " Honestly? I miss her a little"NOOO!!!! Come on man you cant fvcking give yourself up like that! Miss her or not, you CANNOT let your ex know your true feelings; I told you before, you shouldve just said you didnt miss her and didnt really care. She does the typical Girl reaction, and goes "aww" My friend George is also in this conversation and asks if i've talked to her. When I reply I haven't seen her at all today, he replies " Aww, sh1ts gunna be awkward now, because you're suppose to talk to them immediately afterwards." Im just following the "Just got dumped" guide right now, so i just pretend to listen when he explains why, so i don't get confused and start catching old feelings for Monica. George then asks " Do you want her back?" I give them a vague answer, im not sure. Let's just say I said " Idk." George's response is " its a yes or no question, there isn't a middle." Sam agrees, and then more people jump into the conversation.

This pisses me off because it's nobodies damn business, but they try to continue the conversation. I'm thinking that if i ejected mad, or pissed, that it will show that Im hiding feelings for Monica, so instead i sit there and let everyone just talk. I end up not answering George's Question and it luckily goes unnoticed. Sam then looks to me and asks " Do you want me to talk to her??" My instant reply was a " nah, just forget about it. Let it go." She scolds me by saying " you're a typical angry male, you know that?"

I know Sam well enough to say that She will tell Monica everything I told her. She even threatened me by saying " If you don't talk to her, I will". I mentioned how monica told me I was going "slow" and jumped into the relationship, so Monica will now know.And now shes also gonna tell monica that you still miss her...not good

Late Night EDIT: Not very significant

Anna That asian girl who seemed pretty upset when she realized I had a girlfriend
So i deleted her off of aim to keep me from trying to msg her, because it was going nowhere. Today, she noticed my status on fb went from relationship to single, and she decided to try and find out what was the deal. I simply told her I broke up with her, in which I kept all the details out. While I was talking to her, some "PUA" on facebook send me this poem he said was guaranteed to get a girl to like you, and that he uses for "Sarging". I decided to mess with Anna and I sent it to her, saying I wrote it for her. She ends up reading it and saying " I hate you", and even though it was through AIM, i knew she was joking. I start telling her that it was from a friend of mine that likes to brag about his "gaming" skills, and we have a good laugh about it. I then jokingly suggest that I take her photos, make a fake facebook and add him, just to mess with him
and she says " I'll hate you foreever!!" and i reply " You already hate me." She instantly replies with " no i actually like you, so stfu!". Idk if she did this on purpose or not, but i replied " haha that's cute." and she goes " wait, what?!"
I decide to let it go and continue on with my conversation, but I thought it would be interesting to post. She's currently lurking my facebook, trying to find my ex girlfriend and why we broke up. My lips are sealed though
 

saturos

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Regarding the "i miss her a little" statement

I disagree with eaglez. I've read a couple of his "digests" and he's just spitting out info as if he's a robot. Just copying everything from posts and stuff and strictly following the bull**** that flows around here.

What i think? You were probably fine if thats what you said. If you just got out of something with a chick and you try and tell people you don't give a ****, but everyone knew you and the chick were getting real tight, then everyone know's and thinks you're full of ****. You don't need to be hard-ass about that. Anyone's going to miss it a bit, and pretending you aren't isn't being real, its playing "DJ"
 

BongDuy

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11.12.09

so today was pretty typical in the morning. Nothing interesting here, just talking with Brenda ( Old one itus ) and Kristina ( Brute ). Brenda seemed to have some nice kino going on with me, she kept feeling my face/ chin because i haven't really shaved much. Again, nothing interesting here. I didn't get anyone to walk me to class or anything

3rd period
So here is when things get REALLY interesting. Im sitting next to my friend Chacon, who is my partner for my Government class. We're both on laptops and he somehow brings up the topic of Monica. He tells me this story that goes a little something like this : " So monica was trying to sell me cookies, and i took her box and held it up in the air, so she couldn't reach it. Edith ( girl who came over the other day) then says " You better be careful, her boyfriend will beat you up." and Monica replies " We broke up"." Chacon tells me that it was awkward after, and for some reason, this infuriates me. I'm not sure why, but im really pissed off when I hear this story. I end up just sitting next to chacon, doing our work without saying a word to anyone. I couldn't for the life of me explain why, but I was just so frustrated. I felt like punching walls and taking down whatever I could get my hands on

It gets even better. As you all know, after 3rd period, Monica and I usually end up crossing paths because of the hallway. Now, ever since we broke up, I take a bit longer than usual to get out of the class, so i don't have to see her or anything. Today was no exception. In fact I took even longer than before. As soon as i walk out, I look to my left, and right. The path is clear. As i start heading out, i can make out a figure with my perifs. I see Monica come out with a box of cookies in her hand. She sees me, smiles and says " hey duy!" as she comes to me with both arms open for a hug. Im still pissed at this point so i simply reply with a robotic " Hey..." and i put one arm around her, while she squeezes me with both arms. She pulls me close, so our face touch, cheek to cheek contact. As soon as its over, i walk out of the hallway without looking back at her or anything.

Reflecting
Now, when i finally calmed down after lunch ( I guess food helps me calm down) I started to think about why i was mad. I came to the conclusion that it can be either two things.
1) Im letting Monica get to my head. She is controlling my emotions somehow and Im not sure what else to do besides no Contact. It will pass.
2) In psychology, there is something called "The 5 Stages" which is how people cope with distress or misfortune ( Someone passing away/ Getting fired/ and yes, getting dumped) which consists of
1) Denial - the "NO! this cant be!" stage
2) Anger - speaks for itself
3) Bargaining - the " I'll do better! it won't happen again!" stae
4) depression - the " Its really happen.." stage
5) Acceptance. the final " Time to move on." stage

And a new reputation begins
So I get this new watch from my sister and I text my good friend george if he wants to tag along with me to get it re adjusted at the mall.
me: want to come to the mall with me?
George: have sex with me
me: I would but i've got to get my new watch adjusted. Want to come?
George: Take your pants off... I want to go down on you
At this point im thinking " what an *******, using a story i told him against me. Whatevever" A few minutes later i get a call from him, and when he asks about the mall, I hear some girl is in the back and I ask who that is. It's rose, and probably nicole as well. ( two sexy girls, blah blah)
I asked George " Did you tell them?" and he replies " Monica told them. They're friends with Monica."

Great, i love how she runs her mouth and tells everyone. Really, what the fvck man. Do you think being the guy who wants to go down on a woman is a bad rep anyways? I mean, it could be worse. . . now im annoyed by Monica and how she cant keep anything secret.

Learning more about conversations

Anyways, after hanging out with my friends, I lighten up a lot. It was amazing how well My friend George put me in a much better mood. At first, I was very uptight, grunting, and probably looked pissed off as hell. I talk to him, and he just sang and danced in the car, having fun and just having a good time. Eventually, it rubbed off onto me, and before i knew it was i dancing and singing by the time I dropped him off at home. I want to learn how to be more like George.
We both talked about the reputation thing, and he ended up saying it could be much worse, which i agree. I could of been the guy who " tried to get head" instead of "trying to give her head". He even told me about how some chicks like that, and i just couldn't help but agree. In the end, i just feel like i've learned a lot from this experience as well. I noticed that to get small talk, it was the same exact things I would usually talk about, but his tone of voice was much different. I noticed when my friend Marissa called me, when I was hanging out with him, I sounded pretty robotic answering my phone. I could totally see why people say 93% of convo is the Tone of the voice and your body language, and only 7% of what you say.


saturos said:
Regarding the "i miss her a little" statement

I disagree with eaglez. I've read a couple of his "digests" and he's just spitting out info as if he's a robot. Just copying everything from posts and stuff and strictly following the bull**** that flows around here.

What i think? You were probably fine if thats what you said. If you just got out of something with a chick and you try and tell people you don't give a ****, but everyone knew you and the chick were getting real tight, then everyone know's and thinks you're full of ****. You don't need to be hard-ass about that. Anyone's going to miss it a bit, and pretending you aren't isn't being real, its playing "DJ"
Well everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Eaglez has given me a lot of great advice, and without him i can't imagine where my reports would be. Im not going to try and defend/ kiss his ass, but he's trying his best to help me. really.

Me and Monica weren't real tight or anything, I mean I did walk her to class, hand in hand and kiss her a bunch of times, but it wasn't like we were both attached from the waist or something. but yeah, i don't feel too bad about what I said. It's whatever now though, hopefully I can just move on and try and game other girls.
 
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kevin1198

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BongDuy said:
11.12.09

I could totally see why people say 93% of convo is the Tone of the voice and your body language, and only 7% of what you say.
really? that's an interesting fact, I've noticed my voice is robotic alot, any way i could work on this Duy?
 

BongDuy

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just throw some more enthusiasm in your voice. im still working on this, haha, so i'll be sure to try and keep you updated. Just remember to keep your body language open: legs placed a little wider than shoulders, hands out and by your side, relax your shoulder, straighten your back, eye contact, and most importantly don't forget to smile.
 

kevin1198

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thanks Duy!
i really appreciate it.

in the meantime ill be awaiting more posts of your success
 

BongDuy

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11.13.09 Quite the boring day

Nothing too interesting happen today. I mean, during lunch, Brenda ( old one itus) did rush up to me and hug me really tight, and when she said goodbye she said " I love you duy!" but that's just her being herself.
Today was pretty cold too, so i used it to get some kino. The only downside was I was actually really cold, so even rubbing on girls wouldn't help me get warmer. I ended up just with a lot of Kino.


Rushing things
Other than that, My friend Marissa ( Just a friend ) asked me about Monica. "You talk to Monica lately?" she asks and i replied " Nah". She says " That's ashame. She's a nice girl." Marissa is Monica's friend too, they're both volleyball players. She then says " Oh, you know Monica told me she heard the craziest rumor about you?" and I simply say " Oh yeah?". Marissa goes on by explaining that im "trying to have sex with all the girls" in our school. I laugh and ask her " Do you really think that's like me at all?" she laughs and says " well, im you would say something like that to be funny, but you wouldn't do it."

It then occured to me that Maybe that's why things went downhill with me and Monica. I rushed things. It doesn't really bother me, but its just something I wanted to post, because I noticed I rushed things with Brenda, wayyy back in my first few posts, and I recently made a "rush" again.

Say my name
So during lunch, Im playfully talking to my friend Kayla ( little freshmen on the swim team, just a friend) and I'm about to walk away. I hold my hand up and say " Don't leave me hanging" for a high five. Kayla says " oh duy..." and slaps my hand. This white blonde girl who sat next to kayla suddenly came to life and says " So you're duy?" I reply with " yeah, why?" She replies with " oh i don't know, I've just been hearing you name a lot." I smile and say " Well i hope its for a good reputation" as I walk away.

I thought that girl looked pretty familiar. It turns out, she is also on the volleyball team, just like Monica, Marissa, and a bunch of other girls.

As for no contact...
Luckily today I made sure to take EXTRA long in my 3rd period, so i wouldn't have any chance to run into Monica in the hallways. I didn't see her at all today, which was great. However, Tomorrow there is an NHS Carwash from 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM. I know she will be there, and I'm going to have to be there as well. How should I handle the " no contact" rule with her? Don't say "Hi" to her unless she says so first, right? Also, if she initiates a conversation, about something insignificant as "the weather", I should politely excuse myself and walk away right?
 

ONEE

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Wow your ex is telling everyone in your school about you two.
 

sageproduct

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Yeah and I think if you get like stuck alone with her or close to her or something don't like ignore her or do anything to make her think that you're being mean to her cuz otherwise she'll tell all her gay friends and they'll just say that you're bitter. I guess just be polite but try to spend as little time with her as possible.
 

BongDuy

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11.14.09 NHS Carwash

So My friend George picks me up and we head to the carwash. Already, we knew we were going to leave early, which was great, because I didn't want to stay long anyways. We get there, and we wait in the car. Out by Publix ( Where we are suppose to wash cars ) Stood monica and a few other girls, non too interesting to talk to. Me and my friend George sat in his car for a few minutes to wait for more people to show up, and eventually we get out and talk to some people.

Monica is with her bodyguard, Mallory and they walk by me and George, and she gives me a smile and says " Hi.". I return the favor, but I try not to make it sound like one of my typical enthusiastic "Hi"s. I'm with my friend George, so we're socializing and not doing much Carwashing, which is good because I ended up not thinking about Monica too much. It's just she purposely put on a lot more perfume to make me think about her, or wore my favorite Converse shoes on just to get me to think about her. And it worked. When I would see her, I would want to kiss her, like old times. Luckily, I didn't talk to her at all, although we did cross paths. I just looked away, and kept going in my own direction. She didn't say anything to me, which was great. I wouldn't have wanted to talk to her.

The list

I decided I would make a list of things I dislike about her, to try and help me get over this short term crush.
- She's Bossy
- She's Demanding
- She has Cellulite on her upper thighs ( Yeah, low blow lol )
- She's a bit thick
- She Ties her hair up like a troll
- Always Wants to hold hands. Always.
- Listens to the Jonas brothers all the time
- Watches Immature Disney shows, like Lizzy McGuire
- Wears flip flops and shows her Toe nails, which are always never fully painted
- Paints her nails black
- Friends with that Bulldog, Mallory, who is the epitome of "b1tch"
- She hates the song " Love is gone" by David Guetta
- She says Im going too "slow", but when I try to escalate things sexually, she chicken sh1ts out and decides to end the relationship
- Shes telling everyone about what we did as a couple. Whatever happen to not kissing and telling?

Total Unrelated EDIT:
I seem to noticed that I have a very negative view towards people's hobbies. I didn't think too much about it, but i have a tendency to refer to people's hobbies as "lame." Yeah, its a terrible thing to do, and i have no clue why i do it, and im sure on the outside, people aren't to happy to hear me dissing their passions.
Example:
"I love watching Disney Channel"
My response : " ew haha, that's so lame."

Not sure if its a big deal, but I just wanted to post it. I need to stop being so negative as well.
 
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