I'm posting this in desperation....

What's the key? how do I make up for lost time? Why did I end up like this? When and where in my own development did this happen to me? It is this mix of lazyness/isolation,and all things negative. I can't see positivley or into the future, all I can think of is how I ended up where I am.

Alright I'm going to write you a guide of what to do.

1. Shut the fvck up.
2. ???
3. success

Have you thought about talking to a professional? I'm not being an @$$ - seriously, it might help, look in to it.

When did this happen to you? How did this happen to you? WHY did this happen to you?

It doesnt matter. When you brood about the past, you are only wasting more time. Stop thinking about how you need to change and do it.

ummm, how about this..... ELABORATE!

what is it you are talking about????? Start with answering that, then maybe we can help you, include your age too

whats the problem? explain.

Smartone84 said:

ummm, how about this..... ELABORATE!

what is it you are talking about?????

Click to expand...

Read some of his other posts on the first page - dude is lost right now

I am beyond lost I feel. I must say, and I am sorry to drag any of you into this, but rather than using this website as to finding a solution, I have turned it into my personal venting post. I get the idea of what is said on here, but can't for some reason apply it to my own life. I am not even happy with my own life, so yeah, how can I expect anyone to be happy with me? My big thing bothering me the most is this lack of or inexperience with women/sex/relationships.


Either I am lazy or work at a slower place, or missed out on some part in my own development. Since I was about 16, I have been this way. That's 7 years. All throughout youth, and now even young adulthood, nothing. Well, that's not true, I had sex a few times, a few years back, and now, I just can't seem to get back up on the horse.


Maybe I feel unatractive, maybe cause I don't have, or can't even tell, if anyone is even interested in me. I am mostly a hermit I guess. If not at work or school, I am go out, shopping,etc, or lounge around my own house, trying to break free of this. I feel I lack action for various social situations. I have no gf, f-buddy,etc.

I realize, quality over quantity, but I can't even seem to find that. I mean, I feel there is this big void in my life in regards to these different aspects, and I feel, without outright saying it, I want people to feel some sort of sympathy for me. Or, it's maybe even some sense of immaturity or even hyperactivity from possibly being a little attention starved.

Or, it feels like I really don't know how to just "be myself", in the best possible light. Or, I don't have a method, I have read about the routines, ****y/funny,confidence,social proof,etc, but feel I have a hard time getting them or working them into and for me. In a sense, I don't like alot of people, sometimes I am even angry at people when they didn't even do anything to me, it's just the type of person they could be. Or, it's feeling like not having something to use to my advantage. Like as talked about in this thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154667

I mean, the whole point seems to make her feel like crap, while making you feel good, so she wants you more, as discussed on here. I mean, do different things really work on different looking girls? Or, I just feel like or don't realize my own talents and skills. I mean, I spend copious amounts of time on the computer, so that says alot there doesn't it? I guess it is this lack of confidence. Or, it's a lack of what attracts, super charisma personality, solid, mentally and physically challenging hobby, a grand major in school that will benefit me, etc. Like it says, if you are nothing, you will attract nothing, and that's what scares me. Something is wrong, could it be a personality flaw? Or, it's not having mastered things like getting her to know if she will sleep with you within 5 minutes of meeting you. I also feel angry at the increasing superficiality in the world.

A woman won't make you happy. Even if you get massive amounts of girl it won't make you happy.

It'll be fun.. but its only a distraction.

Oh boy, oh boy, so your 23, you're upset, you're feeling lost, you feel that because you dont have a woman, there is a huge void in your life. Well newsflash sir, there are many many more out there JUST LIKE YOU. Like said before, sometimes its just NOT in the cards for some people, at least not until later in life. I am 24 and I'm in the same boat as you, if not worse, seeing as how I am a year older. I have NEVER had a serious girlfriend, and have only had sex twice years ago. I could have had sex several other times with 3 other women over the years but turned them all down simply because I just wasnt attracted to them. I have good game, decent looks, but just have never been able to be "one of the guys" who gets laid here and there and dates beautiful women. I meet girls sure, but ultimately, I realize that they just aren't the right one for me. Actually, out of all the women I have ever dated, there has only been about 2 or 3 that I can say I truly truly liked and felt were right for me. Its a tough game, and u just gotta get yourself out there somehow, someway. Thats the part that scares me, because I actually DO get myself out there, but its very hard to find girls who you can really connect with and feel something for, and with age now working against me so to speak, who knows what my destiny will end up being.

Now I'm not exactly sure what the REAL problem you have is. Do you actually have game but just can't seem to get anywhere? Or do you feel like you cant learn the ways of the game/mystery method at all? You say that you've heard that your supposed to make a woman feel like crap, and i wouldnt say that is true. You are supposed to tease her, "neg" her, but never actually put her down. You are supposed to be looked at as an awesome guy who just so happened to want to talk, and you must make it so that you seem "Above" her, but not make her feel bad.

But thats just 10% of the "Game". If you really are serious about cracking down and learning, I 100% suggest Mystery's book "The Mystery Method: How to get beautiful women into bed". This was one of the greatest books I have ever read and is straight up on all the topics within the Method, unlike Neil Strauss's "The Game" which is more of a lengthy story.

Keep your head up man

I know they're seems to be many more out they're like me, but where are they? Where are even the average looking women for me to have a time with? I am not picky. But I don't know what I want. This has been an ongoing problem for me, not just dating or lackof,but a social life in general. And thing is, aside from work, as in the job I go to, It's not like I spend copious amounts of time devoted to one thing, i.e schoolwork,another problem in some ways, or a hobby/talent.

I often feel embarassed about this and think people can sense it even. Esp people with they're s'o. I feel like a large chunk of life/experience has been lost.

I mean, I barely have even put myself out they're enough I feel. I mean, I even get the slightest bit of attention, and I like her already. Yeah, that sort is happening now. I will get into it later. Lack of game or a plan has been a problem it seems. It may stem from something else. I also feel I have an identity crisis as in I don't know I really am. The awesome guy thing, that's what I feel I lack. I mean, I go to school, I am surrounded by people, and I feel so isolated. I mean, I really don't know what it is. I wake up every day, and I am miserable. Anything can set me off, sometimes I even take it out on people. Or have to be careful not too. It is this constant thing. I mean, it's like I am in conflict with myself, and take it out on the world.

Dude you ask where average looking women are? They are everywhere, but you have to realize that if you can't attract them then you need to improve to attract them. Otherwise you need to hit on really fat unnattractive women with horrible personalities, no money, and bad breath. Cuz i can gaurantee that they feel the same way you do.

If you want something nice then earn it!

I don't even know what I can attract. I haven't even really tried the waters, nor have I improved into this "don juan". I don't think my personality is too bad, but something feels wrong. Something is missing. Or I lack a discipline. As for earning things, I have discussed many of these problems with other people, including my own mother, she says I have no sense of accomplishment, does that sound right?

Then go accomplish something! Anything if you dont have a sense of what it feels like to feel acomplished then get there and dont stop until you do.

Well, that's the thing. I often feel time has passed me by to where I would like to be ideally right now.

If you haven't even 'tried to test the waters' then you have absolutely no reason to keep on whinging like a little bytch

because i want to break free from this.

I told u ur probs on AIM mate.

-Your not committed to your own success
-Your living in the past
-You cant shut your mind up-You think too much
-You think your not in control
-You think finding a women is the magic fix to your unhappiness towards yourself. Its the other way around.

And like I told you on AIM you just gotta realize that your in control and theres only 2 ways to do this, just ****ing man up and do it, or feed your depression so much until you crack.

But dont be a 50% kinda guy, give yourself the odd cookie and just coast like you have been. Post on the forums and get everyone to be mad at how they give you quality advice but you do nothing more than take it in once, spit it back out and dont comitt to it. You gotta be the most depressed mofo you can be until your body writhes in agony before you really cant take it anymore and just crack into grace.

Women won't bring you happiness. Learning to love your life WILL bring you happiness.

Women won't bring you happiness. Learning to love your life WILL bring you happiness.