Awesome progress! Don't let up, and don't stop posting your advances and missteps as you move forward. Once you let up, it's very difficult to get back into the routine.
I've been in your shoes before, and I currently find myself back in a similar position again. There is no substitute for getting out there and just doing the things you want to do. You are fully on the right track, and you must stay on track. Over the last several years, I've moved numerous times, I went through some pretty bad busines spartnerships, and just generally had my confidence and ego crushed. It has been difficult, and now I'm slowly rebuilding my confidence and charisma to levels it's been before. Remain aware at all times of how you feel, and why you feel like that, and make adjustments accordingly. Remember you are the most important part of the equation. Stay healthy, and keep your attitude in check. Keep on trucking, and each day learn from the day before.
But I realize that you haven't got much feedback, though you've written half a book. So I thought I'd give you some of the highlights of my first run with self improvement. It will help me refresh myself, and there might be some tidbits you can add to your game.
About five years ago, I made a conscious effort towards self improvement, physically and mentally, in order to not only get girls, but to also improve my quality of life. This process coincided with me moving to a new town, where I knew no one. I have always got a long with about everyone, but I was never popular. But here I was in a new town, with a completely clean slate. I worked from home over the internet, so my job was not very social. I talked with clients from all over the world on telephone and computer, but not much chance for flirting with chicks.
This site was a major factor in my personal challenge to myself. Each night I started reading more of the DJ Bible, and I could see how much of an AFC I was. It was all burnt into my head. So I realized I would have to get out more, I would have to make an effort to do something nearly every day, or certainly every week, that interacted with a variety of people. One thing I did, was started a drum shop with a friend of mine. I realize not everyone has the means to do this...and it wasn't very profitable...but it was a start. It was African drums, with some guitars, banjos, incense, chimes, and whatever else we could come up with. My friend and I each put all our own personal instruments in there, just as filler, and we would have drum circles once a week..and we'd let the public come in and bang drums. It was fun, and it gave me a chance to meet a lot of people. It also gave me something 'tangible' to say that I did when they asked my occupation. I had been saying 'web hosting' for so long, and no one knew what it was. So when I was able to say "...Oh..yeah..I run that drum shop up the street." It was very nice.
The next thing I did was found a local bar that I could become a regular at. The town I was in was perfect for this..it was right on the edge of a big city, so every weekend there would be a new crowd from the city coming in to drink, while it still had a solid group of locals that were there most nights. It was also a restaraunt in the day, so you could take clients or visitors there. It had small bands that played, and an occasional open mic night, all bringing new people and experiences to the place. I've seldom been a 'regular' at a bar, but this one I tried to pull off as best I could. It was very close to where I lived..so I could walk there. In turn, I went drinking more often...3-4 times a week. HOWEVER...I only stayed for 2-3 beers each time I went, rather than only going out 1-2 a week, and drinking until I was drunk. While I was getting ready to go out, I would turn on something on TV that had a lot of social interaction, by people with no inhibitions. Maybe watch the Howard Stern show, or Wild On E!, or Insomniac with Dave Attel. Just something where people were talking to strangers, and they didn't care what they said. It really helps get you into that "I don't care" mentality.
I also got to know the bartenders, waitresses, and especially..the owners who also bartended occasionally. It was my little 'Cheers' where everyone knew my name. The cool thing about that though is...elevated SOCIAL STATUS as soon as you walk in the door. I would walk in and someone would yell my name, somebody else would have a beer ready, and anybody new to the bar would think I was somebody. SOCIAL STATUS is very important. It's like when you (Snowdog) were at the gym, talking to the hot chick, then after being seen talking to her...everyone started making conversations with you. You appeared alpha to them. Being associated with a hot chick raised your social status. A lot of people try to buy social status with cars and expensive goodies, but the most effective way to to get it is to take confidence and persistence, and earn it! It feeds itself! Once a hot chick sees you with another hot chick, they wonder why you're not talking to them...so they talk to you, and it feeds the chain.
In this bar, I would walk in..and I would give all the girls who were regularly there kisses on the cheek. Then one girl just started kissing me on the lips when I'd come in. Then the other girls subconsiously wondered why I wasn't kissing them on the lips..and proceeded to do the same. It just continued to grow. I also tried to tip well. Not huge, but the first drink of the night..I would tip good. I would normally say something like "Can't always do that..but you always treat me right and I'll try to do the same.." or something like that. Then they don't expect a big tip every time, but they respect that you try. And it starts the night off good. And if you don't know them, you make an impression. And they continue to treat you good. It's all in the details.
Having a place like this that you can visit at any time can really help your self confidence tremendously. You can start the night off there, meet up with friends and they all think you're pimp. Maybe stay there, or maybe go off to bigger and better things. Or you can come there to wrap up your night, and know you're going to feel good.
Anyways, I'll write some more later. I'm just trying to make progress myself, rebuild confidence, and get in a little better shape physically now that spring is here. It will be refreshing.
Keep moving forward, man!
