My self-improvement program

Yesterday i went to the gym again. In the sauna i was with one smoking hot girl that was a new member. I just opened a conversation and talked a bit. Lots of eye contact and sh*t. I'm getting better at fluff talk. I noticed i was half rockin' during the conversation, but i ignored it and it got under control in time. lol.


The hot chick from work today. We had lunch break together and talked a bit. She's awesome. Man, i gotta be careful i'm not falling in love with her. I was planning on asking her out today but i didn't do it because i couldn't find the 'right moment'. Yea right... i know what you're thinking, f*ck you. I'm gonna ask her friday and if i don't, i'm gonna punch myself in the face till i get a black eye. That's right. I'm gonna litteraly kick my own ass if i don't do it.

Funny thing. A collegue made a date during lunch break over the phone. He was smooth i tell ya. He put the conversation on speakerphone to let me hear it. It went like this:

Him: [work talk]
Her: [work talk]
Him (just before hanging up): ...Oh, and do you have time sunday? <- really casually
Her: For what?
Him: For me.
Her: Oh yea sure
Him: I don't know what i gotta do saturday, so i'll let you know ok? Not sure.
Her: Sure, really. That's cool.
Him: Ok' i'll let you know. Bye *click*

It's so f*ckin easy really if you look at it... I think i'm gonna ask the hot chick sorta like that.

I posted yesterday i was gonna litterally punch myself if i didn't ask the girl out. Guess, what, that sh*t worked!


At work:

1st break: i was too much of a p*ssy; i hated myself
2nd (long lunch) break: still too much of a p*ssy; i hated myself even more

I was ****ing hating myself the entire time for being such a dipsh*t. I had a brick in my stomach everytime i even thought about asking her. Then i remembered a line from some movie "You'll regret all the things you didn't do when you're old". And something i read on here: "not doing anything fells way worse then getting rejected". And finally something my dear father once told me: "What's the worst thing that can happen?" Just replaying that sh*t in my head helped me though it.


Then the third break i just went for it.

I made sure i 'accidently' walked into her.


Verbatim:
Me: Hey, i was just looking for you
Her: Oh really, what's up?
Me: Do you have time tuesday?
Her: For what (kinda confused)
Me: I want to drink a beer with you, and thursday i happen to have some time
Her: [Laughing] are you serious? <- she actually said it like she was sorta 'honoured' that i asked her of all people
Me: Yea, I think it'll be nice
Her: Well, i really need time to move into my new house (this is true, i overheard she's currently busy moving, which takes a lot of time).
Me: Well, ok. If that's your real reason...
Her: Yea, that's my real reason.
Me: Ok, well i'll just ask you again sometime later perhaps.
Her: Cool, great.
Me: Well i'll see you later then; gotta get back to work.
Her: alright, bye


F*ck yea! I don't even care so much if it actually works out. I f*cking did it. I asked a girl out that i fiund totally, totally hot and am reallly attracted to. The awesome thing is that i never even came close to the 'friends zone' with this chick. Hell, i think this has potential. Her body language, way of smiling & reacting was really positive. Just that short time moment there was a little 'spark'. This is good sh*t. I love it.

She's 24, i'm 21. She's f*cking hot and awesome. I'd had never been able to get this far without this website. If i crash and burn during the course of this development, i still end up a winner.


I'm happy. Very happy.

Yes. This is definitely another major step for me. A year ago, i'd just be too shy to even talk to her or have fun with her. I'd be frustrated every time i didn't ask her and just go home and jerk off. Like a f*cking chump-ass monkey boy.

I read your whole journal, thanks for sharing everything and taking the time to write all this stuff. You are definitely getting there bro. Good luck and don't give up

Wow Dude. Read ur whole journal. Its awesome, and I gott say I really identify wif u... keep up the good work!

snowdog said:

Hell, i'm pretty much in the same position as he is. Only a bit better... and still improving.

Click to expand...

In the eyes of the people you interact with, you already ARE the DJ!
Only your mind tells you that you're not, holding you back.

Read through your own journal.
While you're at it, skip those "damn i did it wrong"-comments.
Read the rest. You will see that you have acted, and thus been quite suave already!
Your journal doesn't look that bad to me. It's only yourself who sees all the negative tidbits. Try to get that out of your head.

You are what you do, not what you think!
Accept it and for god's sake STOP HATING yourself so much!

Thanks for the nice comments and thanks for reading It makes me happy seeing that uses here enjoy reading my journal.

Huffman said:

In the eyes of the people you interact with, you already ARE the DJ!

Click to expand...

That's the funny thing. I notice it too. Guys around me talk to me and see me as a guy who gets all the girls he wants. But i don't... yet.

Only your mind tells you that you're not, holding you back.

Read through your own journal.
While you're at it, skip those "damn i did it wrong"-comments.
Read the rest. You will see that you have acted, and thus been quite suave already!
Your journal doesn't look that bad to me. It's only yourself who sees all the negative tidbits. Try to get that out of your head.

You are what you do, not what you think!
Accept it and for god's sake STOP HATING yourself so much!

Click to expand...

Thanks for that Good stuff for me to think about. Oh, and I really don't hate myself; infact, I never felt so good and confident as I do now. I just can get really p*ssed and frustrated with myself for NOT doing stuff. I'm writing all the things I know i did wrong, so i can improve them.

Very nice journal. It's a good read and has nice progression.
Make sure to keep up with your journal and your hard work.

Thank you man, i will.

brett012 said:

Got the same problem. The only time I kissed a girl, she was the one who made the move, so when I get the chance to make a move it will be hard because I know I will be a lousy kisser and she will notice! penkitten or any other girls on this site? Is this a big deal?

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no worries, everyone has to learn to kiss somewhere right?
and if the girl turns out to be shallow enough to care about it, well then at least you got some practice

penkitten said:

no worries, everyone has to learn to kiss somewhere right?
and if the girl turns out to be shallow enough to care about it, well then at least you got some practice

Click to expand...

Such a simple answer, and yet so true and powerful. That little post seriously made me think for a while... You just helped me a little further, i need to stop caring so much.

Learning to kiss?
Anxious? Insecure?
Read this.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=58526

Just got home drunk (I am currently drunk). I number-closed a chick at some bar an hour ago. F#$@cink awesome shi@#t. I'll post the full story tomorrow and i'm gonna read the sh23T in the previous post too tomeoorw.

Have a good night dudes!

snowdog said:

Such a simple answer, and yet so true and powerful. That little post seriously made me think for a while... You just helped me a little further, i need to stop caring so much.

Click to expand...

glad to have helped

This happened yesterday, before my drunk post here:
Yesterday i went to a bar with one of my old band-mates. He's a bit of a weird fella and totally afc. But, he bought 'the mistery method' and he told me all about it. He just walked up to a bunch of girls and started talking, which gave me an opening too. To his credit, he just opened them without much hesistation. I sat myself down at the table and just started talking about random stuff. One of the girls was a true cutie. One notheworthy exchange:

Her: I'm from [some very small town]. But please don't think i'm a fan of hardcore music (some sort of very hard rave-style music, popular among idiots).
Me: Ah, well that's good you tell me that. I imagined you as someone who's fu@#ed every week on XTC..., chewing on your own teeth and all (i imitate someone under influence of XTC)

She was in tears laughing. Really, she loved it. During the conversation i kino-ed her a lot. First time i did that really a lot. I thought i was doing great, but she took off and sat herself down at some other table and started talking with some other guy. I was puzzled because i felt i was 'on top of my game' for the first time ever.

I talked a whole lot with the other girls too. I used a LOT of kino all the time. Really cool sh*t, and i could tell the girls love that. I was a bit tipsy, so it was easier for me.

My buddy however, started talking a story about a cube in a desert or some sh*t like that. He got that out of that book. I thought it was an interesting story too, but the problem was that the guy was way too drunk and was making a fool out of himself. Besides, i think that sort of sh*t is more meant for hard-to-get b*ches and these girls weren't like that at all.


We were about to leave so i went up to the cute girl from earlier.

Me: Hey, we're leaving. You should give your number to me
Her: you can get my MSN, it's ...
Me: I'd rather have your number really.
Her: No, you should add me to msn

And she gave me her address. I didn't even wrote it down. F*ck that Sh*t. Later on i talked to the guy i saw her talking with earlier and he told me she had a boyfriend. Oh well, i guess could eplain it...


Me and my buddy took off and i rode a while with him and changed my mind and just went back. I felt like getting drunk, just for fun. There were a whole lot of people in the bar that i knew so i still had plenty to talk with. I just started pouring beer in my face like i usually do at a bar. I noticed that the rest of the girls were still in the bar also. I just ignored them and focused on the rest of my friends and my beer. We stayed till the bar closed and i just walked up to one of the chicks i talked to earlier.

Me: We're leaving, you should give me your number. I'm not gonna talk about cubes when i call you, i promise.
Her: hahahha sure it's 06-12345678


Yay score. Got a number I'm also improving on having conversations. Almost no akward silences anymore.

Tonight i went to the blues jam again. The smokin hot girl from last time was there too. I joined the jam and started out quietly. There was another guy who was around my age who started playing behind his back and stuff like that. I just played along and ****... when i was given some space i turned up my volume and totally went berserk. Everyone forgot about his little trick 3 seconds after i started playing. Really, i tore that f*cking place apart. Going totally crazy with feedback and with the tremolo and all. When i was done i got a standing ovation from the entire bar. Everyone wanted to talk to me afterwards and everyone told me i f*cking owned. I was a star.

I started talking with the hot chick. Actually she sorta grabbed me on the shoulder when i kissed her on the cheeks to say hello. SHE initiated that. Used quite a bit of kino here and there during the conversation, but i still didn't put my arm around her. We had a fun chat. She mentioned smoking weed when i talked about some reggae song and i used that to talk about her 'wild side'. She said she is pretty wild and i totally didn't do anything with that. I mean now i think of it, f*ck what a clue there i missed. I said something about 'yea sure, you gotta be pretty wild to go up there and start singing ya know...'. Goddamn. All in all it was positive and i made her smile a lot. I used a bit of stuff i read about. I talked about how a great feeling it is to stand on stage and get respect from people. I was the driver so i wasn't even close to tipsy. Normally that makes me more ****y, funny and agressive. It really improves my game. It's just that little extra ya know... It removes the last final barriers to put my arm around chicks and make more agressive and direct comments.

I urged her to go sing something. She did after a while and got totally nervous and sh*t. Was it because of me? That would be something. When the bar closed i said goodbye with a couple of kisses on the cheek and she told me she's gonna do a show soon with her band. I told her she should mail me so i don't forget. If she does that, i guess i should take that as a major IOI. I didn't ask her number this time, because i asked that the previous time and it was a little akward. Next time i see her and things go good, i might try to number or kiss close. We have a lot of eye contact and a lot in common. She is really, really hot and also really cool. The friends i was with hadn't seen her before and also told me several times that she is totally smoking hot. Really, she is a 9. The only thing i can think of as negative is that she's a smoker. The chick from work i was crazy about, she is nothing compared to her.

It seems i built quite a bit of what you guys call 'rapport'. Lets see if i get a message from her on that myspace site.


Also that chick i number-closed last week, i'm texting with her all the time. Pretty sexy-oriented stuff. Good sh*t. I might go chill with her next week if i feel like it. I guess i shouldn't bet on one prospect.

I also number closed a girl that works at the school where my mom works. I was in kindergarten with her a long time ago. She is a decent 8. Might go ask her out soon too.


Man, now i look at this post, i really start to think: "wait, is this really me?" It looks like these many days of trying, failing and trying again are starting to pay off.

About the really, really hot chick i talked about in the previous post and a few weeks earlier[... i still have a feeling i could had done more with that yesterday. It kinda sucks i still haven't got her number. But, i still do have that link to her myspace thingy.

I was thinking about sending something like 'i'm curious about that wild side of yours you were talking about ' Good idea or not?

Snow....just wow pal. just ****ing wow. you better have MSN man, PM me with it, we need to talk.

Your amazing! so much change in so little time, send your Email my way pal!
(Im not gay xD)

Ben

Thanks for the kind words my man. I PM-ed you.

Small update:
I noticed it has become a natural thing to flirt with any girl/woman in my proximity. On the rare ocasion i get a customer that's a chick (i still work at a computer store) and always BAM, i'm making funny comments, getting smiles back, i make her laugh etc... It's really full-on flirting. Some of my collegues think I'm a pimp, haha. How funny is that? I've improved a lot on this area over time. Still gotta work on other stuff, which you will see if you read on.


Chick #1 doesn't really text with me anymore. I guess i pushed it a little too far with the ****y/funny things.

At one point I told her I won't bite
Then I asked if i should be scared if she'll bite
She told me no
I don't her i wouldn't mind as long as it wasn't too hard
She replied back not really reacting to that and asked me where i worked
I told her i sell computers, and asked her "damn sexy isn't it?"
She didn't reply
And that's the end.

Hell, if she can't deal with me, too bad for her. Next.


Called chick #2, didn't pick up, she called me back, suprised that it was me on the phone and then telling me that it was not a handy time to call her (10.30 pm). Kinda weird reaction... I told her she could call me back at 6 tomorrow when i'm done with work. Lets see what happens.



Chick #3 the uber hot sexiest and hottest chick in the world-chick. I sure hope that girl i met in that music bar i like so much digs me too. Gotta be careful It's not turning into a case of one-itis. That would suck. I mean, it would suck if i couldn't make it work. Seriously, i think i'm in love for the first time since i was 12. Don't really care about much other chicks and she's popping into my head all the time.

Next time i see her, i'm going for it, i don't care what happens. Seriously, i am going to make a move to kiss that chick no matter what. I don't give a sh*t anymore. F*ck all of you. I'm not directing this to the people on this forum, but to everyone in general. That's what's 90% my attitude now. "Don't want me? F*ck you, I don't care; too bad for you. You find it funny that I tried and got rejected? F*ck you too, I don't care; at least I tried.". It should be 100%. I shouldn't care, and I should get all the chicks I want damnit!


Previous chick (from work) I asked out looks like didn't work out also, but damn it felt good that I at least asked her. It also really helped me "getting over" her. If she isn't interested, seriously, f*ck her. It takes the pressure off. Normally I would be too scared to ask and just fantasize about one girl all the time 'how it would be'. Asking really clears up things, and I like that. "'No' you already have, 'Yes' you can get. Good one eh?



Bottom line of this post:
So you see, I'm not quite there yet. But hey, I'm getting numbers, calling girls, socialize with them.... Much better then a year ago. Much much better. And for all the rejections, every experience IS experience. That's how I see it now. Getting rejected doesn't hurt anymore. Sure, I'd rather have it to work but at least I tried, and gained a little more experience. I'm continuing with this till I make it work. And I have the feeling it's not gonna take that long anymore.

Dude, your doing most of what the men in the world, hell most of the men on here, DONT DO! It's ACTION! The key to getting women and getting laid. Without action, your a chump with big dreams and alot of useless information in your head.
Your doing what half of us **** our pants trying to do. So you keep up that good work, show some of the people on here what they should and could be doing if they'd grab their nuts (ME INCLUDED ON THIS) and talk to women. Damn

Well done, Keep it up

Ben