Back On The Grind & In The Field

Alright I got some more stuff for yall...

There is a chick i've been seeing around campus and she makes Eye Contact when we she sees me and sits in close proximity to me when we are on the same bus. She is also in a class with me, but for some reason she always sits far away from me in that class? Anyways, after class, she is in the que to get on the same bus I am, but I am slightly in front of her. I shimmy over a little to let her squeeze in and she says 'thank you' softly and walks to the back of the bus where I (or is it we) normally sit. I sit in the back too, with one seat inbetween us and open with:

MF: Hey, aren't you in my ______ class.
HBstyle: yea

Then we talk just fluff for about 2-3 minutes and then some chick sits down right in between us. It was kinda frustrating being that close to the chick and not being able to put in the work to get her attracted, coz although she was giving signs beforehand, it was still just that initial 'get to know each other' kind of talk that you do with random people, even old grannies and other guys. HBstyle gets off the bus before I get a chance to reopen her, and she turns around and says bye as she leaves. A positive sign I guess but we dont even know each other's names yet. It sucks that the opportunity seemed squandered but I tell myself that I will go in my usual C&F self when I see her next time, and open with 'Hey, we talked on the bus, but that chick sat down in between us and I couldnt lay down my mack game in its entirety *laugh*'


Anyways, after a bit of hesitation on my wings behalf, we end up going to a house party. Before we went I was drinking some liquor with 140 proof so a couple shots had me feeling pretty good. Not stumbling drunk or anything but a little slower in terms of wit and a lack of concern about people judging or beating around the bush. When we get to the house party, it is not very great but whatever, its cool. I end up posting up in a couple places and spot ANOTHER chick that I've been getting eye contact from on the bus and around campus. We'll call her HBB. I did not go in ASAP but I just posted up around her general vicinity and acted disinterested, ie no eye contact or even looks in her direction. That was the extent of like the 1st hr of the party, seriously. In my defense there was not any other girls I was interested in, and the idea of HBB being at the house party was one of the main reasons I went to the damn thing.

Anyways, I am doin the rounds, talkin to 1-2 familiar faces and then who should I see but HBstyle walk thru the door. We smile @ each other and she walks over and I say:

MF:Hey, we talked on the bus, but that chick sat down in between us and I couldnt lay down my mack game in its entirety *laugh*
HBStyle: hahaha yea she just like sat down in between us.
MF: *Blah blah blah, talks about random stuff*
HBStyle: *Blah blah blah, talks about random stuff*
MF: Hey lets go downstairs where I can hear you better (and where there is hardly anyone else there so isolation)
HBStyle: okay

So we go downstairs and talk, funny ****, only thing on tv was porn and so of course I turn it to the porn channel and start making jokes and ish. Anyways I get the kino going, she is sitting in my lap at one point and laying across my lap another time. I ask questions like is she is looking for in a relationship or just a good time, can't remember most of it. Things seemed to be going decent, not great but not terrible. I remember going in for the kiss and her turning away but it doesnt really phase me, some chicks are just traditional in terms of waiting before doing ANYTHING. Eventually she says she wants to go back upstairs coz her friends are probably looking for her. I say okay and stay on the couch and she starts to walk away, and then I go 'WAIT' and run up and get the digits. Then I give her a hug and go upstairs with her. We do some bumpin n grindin for a couple songs and then they play something I don't like and I am tired of grinding with her so I just eject.

Actually, I ejected on about 2-3 chicks 1/2 way during dancing with them. It was like i would get bored and just lightly move them forward and scoot backwards and do my own thing. They seemed to eat that sh!t up actually, like 'why is this guy not humping my leg like the others?' Later on in the night I saw HBStyle dancing with another guy so I was like whatever, I already got the digits and I'll see her in class whenever, so I just post up looking for new chicks. I end up doing the dance and then eject myself thing with her and she just kinda stands there as close as possible, still dancing. I lean in and say:

MF: Hey, lets go downstairs so I can hear you better when we talk.
HBcoveted: Okay how about we go outside instead?
MF: OKay (I don't give a fvck where we go, isolation is isolation)

So we get outside and I am sitting on a living room chair that is outside, I get her sit down on my lap and then for some reason I tell her to get up and straddle me and she declines and is making a call on a phone. I'm ready to throw this one away and chalk it up as just a drunken miscalculation, so when she says she is going back inside, I say 'whats your phone #' not expecting it to amount to anything, but she gives it up. I was kinda surprised, but didn't show it.


So I go back inside on a high of a #-close and I'm like fvck it, Imma talk to HBB now.

MF: Hey I seen you around campus and on the bus a couple times, what's your name?
HBB: *Like a 2 second pause*I'm HBB, whats your name?
MF: MF

I was shooting the sh!t, holding the conversation by myself and she was seeming disintersted, contrary to what she shows on the bus. I know fluff can be boring but most chicks at least appear interested, but this chick was like she wanted to be somewhere else. Then her overweight friend starting edging towards me and I thought that maybe she wanted me as well or instead of HBB. I try not to make it seem like she is the reason I eject coz I don't want her to get her feelings hurt. But it was pretty abrupt for HBB. It was like I fired out some questions and then just bounced, I wasnt trying to salvage the situation or beg for her attention, my night was going too well to give her too much of my time.

So next my wing leaves and its just me, I am texting him about wats been happenin at the party and HBStyle comes back and says

HBStyle: So you textin some girls on the phone?
MF: Huh.. wat? Nah (quickly puts phone away like I was caught)
MF: So how u makin out 2nite, i saw u grindin away on dude over there.
HBStyle: Oh yea that was just my friend, and that guy in the sweater was scaring me.
MF: Haha, alright, whatever, its cool, you do your thing and I do mines, it's not like we are dating or anything

I can't remember what she said after this but we ended up dancing for a couple songs. It was doubly good coz HBB was standing right there and saw HBStyle walk across the room to talk and dance with me. I get bored after a whole and after I ejected, she gets accepts dance proposals from like 2-3 guys, all friends or guys she met that night I think. Some guys really looked like losers so maybe they were mostly friends. Anyways, the party is winding down, HBB and her friends leaves the spot, and HBStyle is dancing salsa or ballroom or something with one of her friends. I walk out call a taxi and walk back in. She still dancing with the guy, so I walk back out and see a taxi roll up. I think for about a second and tell myself what the hell, might as well give it a shot. So i go back in and lo and behold she is standing next to a friend who is a girl, sees me and walks towards me. I tell her my taxis here and im leaving but she can come home with me if she wants. She says yes but she just has to tell her friends goodbye.

Yea, so tha taxi comes and we get inside, dude is like 'where to?' and I tell him my stop and she tells him her stop and im like 'aint we going together?' and she is like im not coming to your place, im going home...' and so im like 'okay well I guess Im coming too' and then when the taxi driver is telling us the price, she corrects him and says 'we are only doing one stop now' So Im in.

I get to her place and we dance around, play for a bit. Then she throws in Transformers and we watch a bit of that, of course Im more concerned with her then the movie, eventually we start making out a lil bit but she is like a rag doll @ times. Not really a great makeout session @ all. She was not into it as much as she could have been. I get tons of kino on her though and get my hands under her shirt, but she stops me when I go for titties or underneath her pants. We kiss for a bit more and then we just talk til we fall asleep. I wake up the next morning and try a little bit more again. saw some titties but that was it. She had on this t-back thong that was showing coz her pants were halfway off, but I just couldnt get any further without constantly being stopped by her. Turns out she a virgin, so I dont know wtf to do with her. Her exact words were she is not ready physically or mentally for sex... or fooling around persay. (I know, wtf?) but I think I can crack that shell. Anyways, I leave her place like 15 to 12 and go home. I might add her to the rotation, start spinning her as a plate but she seems like she could be a lot of work. She was telling me about how she has mood swings and gets really frustrated @ times. I'm not sure I want that kind of thing in an open relationship coz things can boil over pretty quick.

Also, I talked to my friend about HBB, and she apparently is just can of standoffish until u meet her, so next time I see her, Im going to go in with "Hey, I met you @ ____'s houseparty. I think i remember talking to you and you acting like 'who is this nigga and why is he tryina holla @ me?' *laugh*"
From there I will gauge her response and decide whether she gets nexted or gets another shot.

Questions for whoever
- How do I escalate when a chick gives LMR? What I've been doing is just escalating the kino? It just did not seem to work, her willpower not to give it up was stronger than my ability to get her hot n horny.
- Anything I can be doing better or just suggestions in general?

Updaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!

HBUsed: Wow. So just to recap, HBUsed, my main plate has a bf. I invite her over 1st time and we just chill. The 2nd time she refuses to come over @ night time, so I get her come over during the day coz I got the morning free. We are spooning on the couch watching tv and aint sh!t on TV so then I get her go upstairs. We are in my bed just wrapped in each other, talking. I'm face to face with her, inches apart with this girl I really like reminiscing about how much fun we used to have.

MF: *kiss her on the chin*
HBUsed: *smiles and says stop*
MF: *kisses her on chin again*
HBUsed: *smiles*
MF: *decides to stop*

and then a long pause and then after a second or two of contemplating:

MF: I don't care anymore *goes for a kiss on the lips*

*1/2 hour of fooling around*

During the messing around, she keeps saying how bad I am for making her cheat, in a truthful way but still too caught up in the moment. Afterwards we just chill in the bed. She says she has to break up with her bf now because she is not like that, among the pillow talk we have for an hour or so. I like kickin it with her even tho it's not even that much talking when we are laying in bed together. Afterwards, I have to go class so we catch the bus. It seemed like the consequences of our actions were starting to set in on her coz she was just kinda zoned out on the ride and not very talkative. I hug her goodbye at the terminal and catch my bus.

She broke up with her bf later that night and I texted her to see how it went the next day and she is kinda unresponsive at the moment it seems. I think I'll have to give her her space and see what happens from there. I do like her tho, so i'm hoping she does not think I think any less of her for giving into to the feeling we both had... It was a little more resistance than I typed, but we both were kicking it before ole dude came round so it was not that bad. I hope no guys start coming after me wanting to knife me or some dumb ish tho.


HBCoveted: Havent called her, dont think there is enough rapport and i am kinda intimidated or something, lol. I think i lost my window of opportunity. I told myself I'd never be the guy who doesnt follow up but man... lol. If I see her on campus and remember her face and she looks approachable I will try and regame.


HB from Nov 15th: Texted and attempted to add on facebook. Nothing on both ends. Next


HB from Nov. 11th: Got her on facebook. She went back 2 were she's from n gave me her # but I'll be damned if Im calling long distance for a day two. I gave her my # in case she ever in the neighborhood again but i think its a goner.


HBStyle: Had a class with her since that night. She is still interested and we get along well. She is going to go back home for the weekend but we should kick it next week sometime. Coulda kicked it this week but I didnt feel down to go wit her roommate around. My housemate has a girl friend (who is friends with HBB) and my housemates girl friend asked HBstyle about us (on HBB's behalf or maybe just her own??? I got no idea) and HBStyle told her that I 'really really like her'. I'm gonna have to have a talk with her to make sure we are going towards the same goal of just having fun and not looking too much into things. I like to think of girls of more than just FWB on the side and I know she likes me but I dont think she understands that it is not an exclusive thing or something you gossip about. Because my plates never touch each other, I'm thinking the girls think they are the only option even if i hint to the contrary because they see no proof. She is kinda immature also, it gets irritating around her at times so if I got to set anyone straight early on, its gonna be her.


HBC: Saw her today. Kicked it with her a bit. There are times I think I am in the friendzone wit her and times when I feel she likes me and is just too shy. It's coo either way, coz I dont want any extra drama with her knowing HBused





Summary
Don't have time to try and add any new girls in the rotation at the moment. I think I am gettin a slight reputation around campus or at least word is getting out that I have been with girls in a 'more than friends' setting. For now I am just gonna chill with what I got for the moment and start back up looking for new plates to spin in January, or at least after exams are over. I feel good so far. I've gotten more #s this semester then I got all last year. All my flakes so far have been from lack of rapport, i've noticed that too. The more work I put in the better my chances seem to be for day twos.

HBCoveted: A day after typing up my last post, I check my inbox on facebook and lo and behold there is a message from her, sayin how she 'finally' found me on facebook and explaining who she was and when we met. I sent her a msg, to summarize, it was something like:

Hey long time no speak, sorry 4 not calling you. I decided to wait 3 days like they say to in the movies but I got sidetracked and thought it would be awkward, hahaha

I tell her im going to a houseparty and she is going to the same one, so looks like we have a chance to see each other again. After a bit of pre-gaming I get there at around 12:00am and she is nowhere to be seen. I've had a couple drinks so I'm like 'fvck her I don't need her around me to have a good time' and when she does get there about a 1/2 hr later, I've already written her off and in my 'show off mode' (which consists of chatting up girls and ignoring the girl I'm actually interested in. Kind of validating that I am a catch and don't need her. Luckily I only do this insecure stuff when I am drunk and when I was little. it's really counterproductive when I think about it, coz I'm not working towards the end goal like I could be if I was thinking logically) I ended up getting 2 #s although neither I'm really that interested in at all. One seems like she could be an easy lay so i might test the waters there. The #-closes were actually pretty fvcking easy. I got a certain level of rapport going and just whipped my phone out and gave it to them, no asking or telling them to type their # in, no words, just action. The funniest thing about the #closes was that one of the closes was done pretty quickly, and then I found out both the girls she was with was hotter than her, so I tried to game those two and got shut down. One said she doesnt give her # out, and the other bailed when I started talking to a friend, lol. Oh well, maybe if I seem them on campus I'll tell them some story or lie or something.

Anyways, i think i talked to HBcoveted for like 3 minutes tops for the duration of the night. It's not like I was just standing there watching her from a distance but I did not go in and make a move or try to isolate or anything. The night is winding down and my ride comes and as i'm walking out the door, she is walking in. She says 'leaving already?' and i'm like "yea' and get in the car.

So in my head she is kind of a lost cause for a combination of low interest and my weird behavior around her. The next day i send her a text like 'I dont know how but we managed to talk less in this houseparty than the one before it...' I put my phone on silent coz I hate anticipating a call, waiting for noise and vibrations for what seems like an eternity. Two hours go by with no response so I am like w/e fvck it. and then by chance i look down at it and someone is calling me. It's HBcoveted.

Awkward convo ensues.

We bullsh!t about the party, majors, etc, pretty boring conversation. I say some dry jokes that miss the mark. Anyways she tells me she where she is goin out tonite, i tell her i'll pass, i say i'm goin 2 school later, if u end up there later, give me a shout, but no call so I am assuming she didnt go there.




In conclusion (damn essay-writing got me wrapping up my FR's, lol) HBCoveted has potential still i think. Not looking forward to class this upcoming week tho, I have a lecture with HBStyle, HBCoveted and one of the girls I #closed @ the houseparty last night. Talk about awkward :crackup:

good work man, i have really noticed a difference from the start to end, u r a hell of a lot smoother.

thanks man. I dropped some feedback on your journal btw.

Alright this is me vomitting what is going in im my head via text. Just ideas and problems I have at the moment

Random Ramblings
I feel good with what I've achieved so far, but at the same time, I also feel down for realizing how little I have accomplished in the grand scheme of things. My scoreboard for the semester reads 2 chicks I've madeout with, a little bit of fellatio and phone #s. On a decent night, someone can achieve all of this and then some. Part of the reason is that literally like 90% of the chicks I've gotten digits from that turned into something were religious but even still, I should be doing more than what I currnetly am. This is probably the best year of my life in terms of confidence and potential, but I need to push harder next semester.

I am doing good attracting girls initially but after the 1st 3-4 meetings I seem to be losing them when it comes to keeping them hungry for more. I definitely am gonna do some rereading concerning rapport and ltr. I have been trying "We aren't dating we are just havin fun" idea with the whole "What you do in ur time is not my business and vice versa" but now im wondering if this is really the way to go. Does honesty really amount to as much as the people here at SS say it does? Nowadays it seems like there is nothing wrong with lying, only with lying and getting caught. Following this train of thought, i'm thinking about perhaps just making girls my gf and then break things off when something new comes along/I give into temptation/get caught. It sucks at the moment coz I do want the relationship-esque relationship with girls, just without the commitment. Where I am right now where I am waiting to be fit into girls schedule as opposed to being who they schedule around, but then again I suppose this is my fault for falling into routine with them. I like being with girls as opposed to flaunting them in public, so I guess in those circumstances, you find out everything there is to know a little too quickly and things start to wane in the talking dept.

Also Im terrible around friends of targets after I've met the friend but not the target. Like when we are all just having a conversation I am money, but when the focus is on me, in relation to the girl i am seeing, things just get ugly. I've been interrogated by one friend about the relation that I have with one of the girls and it is just awkward and irritating.

This is why I feel I gotta spin plates :cuss:

HBCOVETED
She called me a couple times and talked to find out more about each other. One conversation went well and lasted about 30 minutes but other than that I usually keep em short and sweet. She definitely has some kind of interest. I invited her to chill one day, she says no she is going out instead but I can come with. I decline. Then another time, she calls in tha afternoon and asks what I am doing tonite I said 'I'm staying in... why do you wanna come kick it?" and she says "Yea" so I say gimmie a shout when u comin over. Like 8:30pm rolls around and still no response, so I give her a call and she says that she has promised to do such and such with her friend. (STRIKE ONE). She says lets reschedule for tomorrow nite and I say I might be doing something with a friend I'll get back to you. The following nite my schedule ends up free so I give her a shout around 8pm again, and she says that she promised a friend she'd go to her house party instead of kick it wit me. (STRIKE TWO) She says she wants me to come, blah blah, even offered to pay for my taxi fare. I tell her I'll think about it. Something is telling me not to go coz I went from getting her to chill @ my house -> getting to share her with 20+ people in a houseparty. However, I think about it and convince myself that I'm playing the same game, just on the opponent's turf instead of mines.... boy was I wrong. Party was wack, she knows 90% of the ppl there and I know 0. It's going from house to house and there are a couple cute girls, but everyone knows each other and I don't know if things would get awkward if HBcoveted brings a guy and he hits on her housemate or w/e. To top that off, I was planning on putting some heavy gaming in, so i go in sober as ever and it turns out everyone else is drinking, I find it hard to have fun in that situation because everyone is letting loose and uninhibited but I'm playing catch-up and trying to readjust my boundaries rationally.

I get bored and bounce after like 1 hr of the dumb sh!t, she tells me she is gonna stay (STRIKE 3) It's whatever to me. Here I am obviously gonna put my foot down coz she has cancelled/bailed/not made herself avaliable three times. I'm just not sure whether I should build up some rapport and then yank the carpet out or just drop her ASAP, as hard as possible. I'll have to think about this, but I'm REALLY not gonna be that guy who chases a girl around, begging her to kick it with me no matter how coveted she is. I got enough prospects (or i did last week... lol) My first thought was to next her but I've nexted chicks too quickly and regretted it in the past, and she obviously is interested if she wanted to pay my taxi fare just to see me, but she needs to know my time is too valuable to be canceled on or shared.

HBGUTIAR
This is also why I fvckin spin plates. After HBcoveted cancelled on me the 1st time, I feel a little pissed coz I cleaned up the house and almost shaved my balls, so I decide to hit the club. I see a three set, two white girls going crazy on the dancefloor and a black chick posted up behind them not really dancing. I go in, chat her up a bit but then they have to leave. I write her off but then she comes back later and I ignore her coz she left 1st. She leaves again (to smoke a cig apparently, ewww) and when she comes back I reopen her. We get to talking, get some good rapport and witty banter going. She is leaning in, reinitating conversation, laughing at jokes and stuff like that. She is not like the average chick I meet at the club. She plays guitar, reads books, doesnt go out a lot, etc. This sounds like a 'loser' or 'nerdy' chick but I like well rounded chicks (and she's a little cutie too). I find out she dances and I tell her I dance too, although neither of us are actually dancing. We start busting on the guys on the dancefloor and how it looks like they practice their dances together in their mother's living room and stuff. I try to isolate her coz she is standing right behind the speakers so we are practically shouting to be heard, but she says she wants to stay where she is. She mentioned the bf for like 2-3 conversations straight. I had some bf jokes on the tip of my tongue (either 'You've got a bf? I've got 3 girl, you need to catch up' OR ' You got a bf? Something to do when I'm not around ') But they just didn't come out and I ended up just bowing my head and laughing to myself. But throughout the night, she is constantly on her cellphone texting and later on she is looking through her phone and then directs the screen at me like are these good taxi services? Wat are some taxi #s. I take this as full systems go, so I go into my phone to get her some taxi #s to call <insert scene her watching me scroll through all the #s of girls I've closed recently, lol> and then I'm like "Yo wats yo #?" and she types it on her screen and I type it in my phone. Easy # close yet again.

However I might have shot myself in the foot afterwards. She doesn't like the place and is bored coz her friends are going crazy elsewhere. I try to isolate again and she says she wants to stay where she is. By this point I already have the # so I don't feel like waiting around or shouting over a club-sized speaker, so I'm like yea whatever I'll see you later and just bounce as soon as she says she doesn't want to relocate. In retrospect, not the smoothest move, lol, but I wanted to scout the place for new girls and not waste my whole nite on this girl with a bf. I walk around the club for about 4 minutes and when I get back to where I was HBguitar was gone. I texted her about an hour later like 'I turn my head for 10 seconds and u leave. Oh well, i'll ttyl' but that was early Saturday morning and still no response. I'm not gonna give up on this one early tho, coz the girl got a bf so there is resistance to be expected.



HBUSED
My main prospect is waning. I'm thinking it is another guy or she seeing her ex coz she has been distant since the last time we spoke, I only saw her by chance one day, no arranged meetings. It sometimes takes hours for her to respond to texts, she didn't call when she said she will, blah blah. I havent hit her back since she didnt call, if she wants her space or has a dilemma going on, she gonna enough space to deal with it and create peace in the middle east. If she slips up, I'm not gonna be breathing down her neck about it 24/7 I don't think hounding her will solve the problem. However, I gotta put my foot down here tho too. When (or is it if?) she reinitiates contact, Imma put her in her place about blowing me off. The sh!t is hitting the fan wit these chicks it seems. We aint dating, but out of respect, you don't blow me off, as a bf/friend/or other, str8 up.


HBSTYLE
Went home to go clubbing. She has an ex (he cheated) back home she is trying to make jealous so she goes to parties he might be at and does... something, i dunno, I never cared enough to ask her about it. (Yet another reason why I see her as immature) She put me in a similar situation as HBUsed did back in the day (studying and then another guy comes) but I just bounced ASAP when dude came around, left for like 2 hrs and then came back and studied. I wasn't really pissed coz I don't care enuff about her to get jealous, plus I think she was pissed coz I ran into HBUsed earlier and hugged up on her and introduced HBstyle as 'some friends i'm studyin wit'. Oh well.


HBHP1
HP1 = Houseparty 1. After writing the random ramblings, I realized that I am not getting enough success to throw away potential pvssy. So I throw a text @ her, and it turns out she is in S. Africa for a month (she is older, has already graduated and works in nursing or something) She said she wants to hang for when she gets back. I told her gimmie a shout in January.

HBHP2
This chick is in the same lecture as HBStyle and HBCoveted. I didnt holler @ her til last class of the semester to avoid a possibly awkward situation. We start texting back and forth and I tell her we need to kick it. She says "wat does 'kick it' imply" and I don't know what to respond to that. I didn't know if I should say, "Let's Fvck"/beat around the bush/ or somethin else. I ended up going with 'Kick it means just hang out together and see what happens from there' which was ambiguous, somewhat innocent with a hint of sexuality. Anyways she ends up going home for the weekend too, so I decided to @close her even tho I got her # coz i don't have a lot of contacts I'm chasing on messenger. I think I might prioritize my options that way:

Higher tier - Facebook/Phone/In Person
HBUsed and HBcoveted
Middle Tier - Messenger/In Person
HBStyle, HBC and HBhp2
Bottom Tier - Late at night, strictly fb-status
HBhp1

(Waaay Less then) 6 Degrees of Separation.
I cannot count how many times these girls have seen me with the other one. HBcoveted saw me conversing with HBC who she knows, HBUsed sees that I know HBcoveted coz she has her on facebook, HBStyle saw me hugging up on HBUsed @ the library, HBCoveted sees me kick it wit HBStyle instead of her during lectures, I called HBStyle by HBUsed's name by mistake the first time we kicked it, HBhp2 sees me kick it wit HBStyle every lecture, HBhp2 saw me close HBhp1 @ the houseparty, thats just off the top of my head were I saw one and was talking to the other. I don't even know about times they might have seen me in the halls with someone and not said anything/was seen by me. Whether this will help or hinder me in the long run remains to be seen.



Post-game wrap up
Oh yea, there have been other approaches and girls I've met, but unless they have plate potential or get closed in some manner, Im not gonna talk about em. As you can see, every chick seems to want to test me or is not avaliable at the moment. Last year I would have been rocked by some of the flaking or actions but this year I just call the next girl on the list. When it comes to the sh!t-tests, I am reframing them to something I read waaay back here on sosuave. It was something like, "If you are getting sh!t-tested, it is fvcking great coz you know you are on the right path" so once I get things back in order I should at least get a couple miles of smooth sailing before I gotta readjust the rudders of the boat again.

Just read through the last page and a half of your journal (took a while lol). I think you're doing really good, you seem to be very smooth and confident, and appear to have almost no difficulty in approaching (something i struggle with).

Your main problem here seems to be with getting past a certain point with these girls. You've # closed a lot of girls, and seem to have quite good rapport, a little bit of fooling around, but it doesn't appear to be developing into much. That's my read on the situation anyway, I could be off with that.

I'm no expert, but perhaps consider trying to get 1 on 1 time with the girls that isn't at your place or isolated at a party or something. Consider perhaps going for something a bit more traditional (coffee, out for drinks, etc). I think the girls will find this a bit less threatening. Asking a girl over to your place is pretty intense, especially for many of the girls that you seem to be dealing with (virgins, religious, hesitant, etc.) Maybe try and get a casual date (coffee, drinks, w/e), and if it goes well, then invite them back to you place.

Overall, doing awesome though i think.

yowhatsup said:

Just read through the last page and a half of your journal (took a while lol). I think you're doing really good, you seem to be very smooth and confident, and appear to have almost no difficulty in approaching (something i struggle with).

Your main problem here seems to be with getting past a certain point with these girls. You've # closed a lot of girls, and seem to have quite good rapport, a little bit of fooling around, but it doesn't appear to be developing into much. That's my read on the situation anyway, I could be off with that.

I'm no expert, but perhaps consider trying to get 1 on 1 time with the girls that isn't at your place or isolated at a party or something. Consider perhaps going for something a bit more traditional (coffee, out for drinks, etc). I think the girls will find this a bit less threatening. Asking a girl over to your place is pretty intense, especially for many of the girls that you seem to be dealing with (virgins, religious, hesitant, etc.) Maybe try and get a casual date (coffee, drinks, w/e), and if it goes well, then invite them back to you place.

Overall, doing awesome though i think.

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I was starting to notice that too. I suppose the segueway from 1st meeting ---> my place is a little too quick and that is why I'm getting resistance. I'm caught up trying not to make laterally/backwards movement but my forward progress can be coming off as too forward or aggressive. I tend to shy away from the traditional courting ideas like coffee or drinks because I don't want a traditional relationship with them, but perhaps I will have to meet them halfway. I bump into all the girls on campus but nothing really personal (how personal can you get on campus) I was thinkin a good insta-date for a girl at the moment is window shopping for Christmas gifts or something along those lines.

Also, as for my approaching, its not that I don't get approach anxiety, I remember earlier this year I'd go entire nights just watching one girl and not approaching. It's just that I've hit a hot streak as of late and it is cumulative. (I think i've gotten digits like the last 6-8 times I've been out partying or something). However, I would like to get to the point in life where I can be feeling like the pits and still go out and feel confident, the point where I don't need +4 girls in my life in order to be confident. Also, there are still girls I want to approach but don't and I still kick myself for letting girls get away from me.. Once you start approaching regularly, it really becomes whatever when a chick rejects you or doesnt do what you want. Thats the best thing about multiple girls in your life.

But yea, +1 for you man, I really think you might be onto something there with the whole lack of rapport (for lack of a better word) between the first meeting and trying to get her back to my place.

HBCoveted
She called the day after the houseparty (last week Sunday) and apologized saying she felt bad about what happened. I told her it's cool but dont expect me to go to any houseparties with her anymore coz I am not used to going to houseparties to talk to girls I already know. We talk for about 4 minutes about random BS, and then she says can she call me back coz her show is back on (wtf?), so I say don't worry about it, I'm cooking dinner so I'll call you back another time. I don't really have time to deal with her flaking or bringing me to wack house parties so I don't really have any intentions of calling her back or trying anything with her until next semester. I have no contact with her until yesterday.

HBUsed
So I caved in and called her to see wtf happened, why she didn't call. She seems happy that I called and says that she fell asleep and since I didn't call she guessed that I was busy and didnt call me back. It sounds questionable but whatever, if I believe anything from the girls I see, it is gonna be something out of HBUsed's mouth. So I proceed, but with caution. After I call, I find out she is on campus and I am too so we kick it and she arranges for us 2 go movies on Saturday. Prior to movies on Saturday nite, she also texted me to see where I was, and when she found out I was on campus she said she could give me a lift home and then we made out in her car a bit before she had to go back to school to study for exams.

Anywho, fast forward to the movies on Saturday, we go see the movie (which was aite, kinda iffy but w/e) Get back to my place, str8 to my room. She is sittin in-between my legs for a bit, just chattin n chillin. Ironically, we are kickin it and my phone goes off, who should it be but HBCoveted. No chance of me answering that call so I let it ring until it stops. (I'll give her a shout later on today, see what was happenin. It was a call @ like 12:40 am so it could been a possible hook-up too, but you know a chick in your bed is worth two on the phone, lol) So anyways back to HBUsed. I turn her around and start makin out. So we in the heat of things, get her clothes off with no resistance, even the panties. I take my boxers off, we fooling around, my d!ck keeps 'slipping' around her pvssy so I tell her Imma put a rubber on just in case. Eventually I just focus on gettin my d!ck in, but damn it was so tight I couldnt make any real progress. I told her to tell me if you need me to stop and after a couple tries she stops me and we go back to fooling around a bit. She ends up leaving at about 2am. I wasnt really focused on taking her V-Card, if it happens it happens ya know. She waaay more than just a fvck but unfortunately, I'm not looking for a gf at the moment.


HBHP2
Im kicking myself over this one and why i reinitiated after the #close in the party. I have close to 0% interest in her now that I've actually interacted with her after the party. She texts me randomly to shoot the sh!t or messages me online. Really I have no intentions of doing anything with her except for maybe some head (emphasize the maybe). I specifically remember telling her that I was not looking for anything long-term or w/e but she messages me and talks to me about nothing like she want to build rapport with me. Im gonna have to start ignoring her or something.


HBStyle
I Studied with her a little @ the library after bumping into her during the week. She seems interested but a little stand-off-ish tho. I get the feeling she is disagreeing with me just to cause a confrontation or convince me how strong or in control of the situation she is, which, imo, is loosely veiled insecurity. I can't be bothered to try and switch things up with her or make a real move on her coz my IL is dropping concerning her anyways. Maybe I'll try and hook up with her next semester, maybe not.


HBGuitar
Actually interested in this chick. I texted her twice and no response, so I'm ready to write the chick off until next year. But.... there is this light skinned cutie that has never really noticed me but now I catch her making eye contact in the computer room, or my housemate caught her staring on the bus. There is no denying that this chick looks like HBGuitar, but I cannot remember if this is HBGuitar or not, lol. It's partially because I was drinking when i met her but also because I have seen this light-skinned chick around campus before and she caught my eye, but surely if I saw her again at the club I would have put two and two together, no?

As things have gone over the last week, I've seen her twice. When the opportunity arises, I'm going to re-open her with questions that show that I remember who she is (if it is her) and then my last question will be something like "are you the kind of girl to not return text messages after a guy sends them to you? " Where most people would make this a confrontational topic, I think by making it a playful one it will help me in achieving my end goal (making her a reliable plate). When we actually spend time together I will show her how my time is valuable but I obviously need to display more value before I start putting her in her place for flaking imo. I think she has a couple plates or guys chasing her at the moment but none of them are like me I am pretty sure of that.


HBB
If you can remember, I went to a houseparty almost solely to meet HBB and she was not too receptive, and then her fat friend started talking to me. On the ride to school one day, I sat down and who should come on the bus but HBB. She sits about two rows in front of me (only avaliable seat) and she keep looking out of the corner of her eye so I'm definitely gonna try and re-open her when the opportunity arises.

I think I was right about the idea of her stepping back because her friend likes me. I was studying in the library the other day and her big friend was there and opened me on some bullsh!t like what is my major and do I have a stapler, really weak stuff. I was polite and all, but I really am not feeling her in the slightest. If she opens me and asks me about my relationship status or tries to come onto me, Im going to tell her im attracted to her friend, not her and then tell her that I think my housemate has a crush on her (He doesnt but he agreed to go with this to make up for a faux pas he made earlier on, lol. Maddd props to him coz I could not fake liking this chick at all) I thought about saying LJBFs to her, but I dont want to be her friend either, and I am 'friends' with the girls I am seeing, and so if they see that this girl is my 'friend' I might get negative social proof (yes i think that is possible, lol)


Conclusion:
Right now, I'm content with not interacting with any of my plates and just focusing on studying and going home next week Sunday. In fact, I'm really looking forward to going home and testing out my newfound confidence and philosophies, especially since there is an abundance of the kind of women that I'm attracted to back home.

Alright here's whats new:

6 degrees...
Caught the bus the other day and HBCoveted and HBStyle were on it sitting next to each other. I dont think they know each other but I ignored HBCoveted and talked to HBStyle. Because I knew HBStyle 1st I feel like I should give her more attention in that situation even if I am not as interested in her as HBCoveted. HBStyle got off the bus 1st and said bye, and then HBCoveted got off the bus too and said bye also, so I perhaps HBCoveted is cool with me seeing other chicks and expects to be something on the side if we get something going? Oh well, I'll deal with w/e when it comes up next year.

HBUsed
She texted me to kick it with her in the library later on yesterday and I did. We kick it for about 30-40 minutes talkin in the library, and then she starts asking me about the other girls I am seeing. I do not know what to say in this situation so I just kept quiet for a bit but after the 4th time asking me or w/e after a long silence I was like, "Why do you wanna know? If I say 0 you are gonna be upset, if I say 1 you are gonna be pissed and if I say 40 you are gonna be pissed" she still wants to know but eventually I change the subject. Awkward as ever though. Any ideas what I am supposed to say? It's one of those situations where she says she wants to know, but I know she does not because something things are not worth knowing and will only lead to jealousy and too much drama for me.

Anyways she gives me a lift to my place and we go upstairs, fool around for a bit, and then she drives home. Another problem is that her brother's friend(s) have been telling her that they are wary of me, that I've got one thing on my mind or some ish like that. Granted, she is got the same thing on her mind and likes fooling around and kicking it, but just the fact that I got some guy on the sideline throwing salt in my game is irritating.



On the bright side I finished my 2nd last exam today. After it, I walked outside and was suddenly aware of how much chicks are just walking around and attractive after tuning them out for the last couple of weeks. The potential of the world around me just peeped its head into view for the first time in forever before I jammed it back out of sight. Once exams are over however, it is gonna be on and poppin :trouble:

Exams are over and im back in my hometown. I havent gone out clubbing yet, heck I havent talked to anyone with a vagina that isnt related to me at all yet. That's the hardest thing about being in my hometown: there is no university campus I can just go scope out chicks at. Im looking for new venues to meet chicks like fundraisers, parades, etc so Im keeping an ear out for those kind of events.

I can feel myself slipping at times and subconsciously holding the girls @ my hometown as harder to game and more valuable than the chicks this past semester but that is just silly talk coz I have had little success back home. It definitely feels weird to be spinning multiple plates and be sought after one day and all of a sudden have 0% interest in me, but I just gotta get the first couple approaches out of the way to get the ball rolling.

Christmas is tomorrow and that marks a landmark in my holiday from university. After a bit of reflection and (more than) a couple eventless trips to the mall I realized what my problem is back home: it is not the local girls that are the cause of my sudden lack of success, but the change in the game, more specifically, how I have to change my formula for approaches. I have been approaching strangers here and there in my journal and you are probably wondering 'What gives MF?' but in the past I've been able to find a position where both me and the target are stationary such as bus stops, classrooms, libraries, bus rides, dancefloors, etc, (check the posts to see the pattern) where I could see a couple IOIs, and dive right in. Although we are complete strangers, there is a recognization and mutual attraction going on before I open my mouth, some eye contact, giggling or whatever. Although I think it really pays to look for these things in deciding who to approach, (possible reason behind my decent closing rate?) I am missing out on so many girls and not allowing my personality and charm to get my foot in the door. The way I have been approaching has me reacting to others' desires instead of acting on my own.



In fact, I am wondering if I look for IOIs to increase my chances of success... or decrease my chances of rejection?



Regardless, as my the recent cold spell shows, the open IOIs I am used to looknig for are a sticking point I need to resolve to increase my spontaneity and so I can start gaming all of those sexy chicks I see going about their business. This brings me to a conclusion which I was already leaning towards after rereading my journal the other night: I NEED MORE COLD APPROACHES! So consider this my New Year's Resolution for the journal, getting better at hollering at girls whether they are walking the opposite way in the mall or just going about their everyday life. I expect things to get worse before they get better, and rejections to pile up, so buckle up fellas.

Hey Microfone Fiend.....i've read all ur journal.
I have to say, you have made very good progress with interactions. I bet you don't have that much approach anxiety in terms of Eye Contact Game anymore and that u can come up with witty comments on the fly....thats def a crucial part of game...being spontaneous.

I have to commend you on holding out with the flakes u received. Ur a better man than i am. I'd be hella frustrated...and just say NEXT after the second time. Its a shame some of the girls played games like that(even if they are virgins/religious)....glad u've let go more of ur ego and realize that its what girls sometimes do for specific reasons in their eyes.

For the older women, its hard to tell how to escalate sometimes....and in fact they prolly did want to hook up. U prolly could've just isolated them to a quieter area and then further escalate.

For HB-Style, good persistence. U were keeping at it with her despite her seeming standoffish at times. Its what i need to learn, persistence despite a girl's middle of the road actions. Such a shame she too was playing games at times, but u seemed like u handled it well and stood ur ground.

HBCoveted-it seems u had a big deal of attraction for her and she had a good open mind....even if she was flaking on u a couple of times. I'm glad u nexted her tho, no need for her flaking/continuous games despite the attraction.

HBUsed-Can't say much here since i don't got as much as experience with u at this point in the seduction game....so all i can say is good job and keep going with that, if in the future.

This FR was pretty interesting cuz i was literally out loud saying, "C'mon now....whats up with these girls?" haha...but ur a champion in the sense that ur progressing and improving on ur sticking points.

I put my hats up to you. :rockon:

If ur going for the route off Cold Approaching...definitely a good way to go imo as there are always girls to go around that u won't run out and believe it or not, on average atleast 5/10 girls will be receptive u when u first approach. Also remember, some girls who don't give u eye contact will be shy about it since they don't "Want to be caught" and don't want to seem passive...eventho deep down they will be if u step over there anyhow. ;-)

Hope things work out further with you.

OWWW you are doing good!!!!! That was a long read but I love detailed sh1t so good job buddy! Most of the chics are flakes though! Ohh well good job and good luck in the future cant wait for some more updates!

Thanks for the feedback guys, especially DJC, nice 2 see ur journal starting up again for sure. Good luck man and imma drop some feedback in it once I get up to speed on your new approaches.

DonJoseCantosie said:

I have to commend you on holding out with the flakes u received. Ur a better man than i am. I'd be hella frustrated...and just say NEXT after the second time. Its a shame some of the girls played games like that(even if they are virgins/religious)....glad u've let go more of ur ego and realize that its what girls sometimes do for specific reasons in their eyes.

Hahaha. It is hella frustrating man. I have seriously nexted so many of these chicks in my head and then something makes me change my mind. After a while I just stopped caring about what they do and just focusing on getting better so that the next batch of women in my life do less of it, and then the next batch does even less, etc, etc.

For HB-Style, good persistence. U were keeping at it with her despite her seeming standoffish at times. Its what i need to learn, persistence despite a girl's middle of the road actions. Such a shame she too was playing games at times, but u seemed like u handled it well and stood ur ground.
HBCoveted-it seems u had a big deal of attraction for her and she had a good open mind....even if she was flaking on u a couple of times. I'm glad u nexted her tho, no need for her flaking/continuous games despite the attraction.
HBUsed-Can't say much here since i don't got as much as experience with u at this point in the seduction game....so all i can say is good job and keep going with that, if in the future.

Thanks for the breakdown of the plates man. I don't care if you think you aint where I am at right now, you might be able to see stuff I do not, coz I know you have the theory stuff down via reading and you are trying stuff in the field. Anyways it's gonna be interesting when I get back because I have lost a good deal of attraction to all of the targets leading up to (and over) the Christmas break. I still want to mess around with HBUsed and try my hand with all the others, but as for a genuine feeling of something more, it just aint there.

This FR was pretty interesting cuz i was literally out loud saying, "C'mon now....whats up with these girls?" haha...but ur a champion in the sense that ur progressing and improving on ur sticking points.
Yea it's a b!tch sometimes, but the good stuff outweighs the bad after no time flat. I still get that post approach high regardless of the outcome, just knowing I went in makes me feel good about myself. If four girls flake on me, just knowing that the fifth one sucked my d!ck makes me smile about how unimportant the other four suddenly become. It puts things in perspective for sure

If ur going for the route off Cold Approaching...definitely a good way to go imo as there are always girls to go around that u won't run out and believe it or not, on average atleast 5/10 girls will be receptive u when u first approach. Also remember, some girls who don't give u eye contact will be shy about it since they don't "Want to be caught" and don't want to seem passive...eventho deep down they will be if u step over there anyhow. ;-)
Alright thanks man. I've been out in the mall a good deal over the last week or two but no approaches as of yet there.

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j0n024 said:

OWWW you are doing good!!!!! That was a long read but I love detailed sh1t so good job buddy! Most of the chics are flakes though! Ohh well good job and good luck in the future cant wait for some more updates!

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Yea, Im going to work on decreasing flakes from here on out. I think that I am mostly to blame for the flakes, but I don't think I am skilled enough to turn them around quite and a chick with Low IL sometimes becomes a turnoff in itself (I love me, and if she don't love me as well, clearly she is lacking mentally, lol) yet For now, I'm going to focus on the chicks that are really attracted to me and work to make sure future chicks have high IL from the beginning.

Finally a little success in my hometown in what seems like forever

Yup yup. i went out friday with some friends. The club is a sausage fest when I get there and does not really progress as the night goes on. I am standing near the entrance, watching to see if any cuties are coming or leaving. I see a two set come in and damn near break my neck to watch them walk by. One of my friends makes a comment about it, lol. They werent even that great, but like the sayings goes, my standards are as high as the prettiest girl in the room. Granted they were not busted, but they weren't 'neck-breaking' fine either. About a 7 and an 8.

I am interested in the 8 and so I ask my friend to come wing me. I actually get AA and refuse to go in first (wtf right?) but my boy was a G so he goes in first. He got a girl now and is teetering towards being an AFC but with girls he does not care about he is ruthless. He goes in first and the girl I wants gives him some space while he talks to HB7 and then I go in and pick off my target too. The conversation was alright. I had a bit to drink so I wasn't firing on all cylinders but I held my own. I am barely getting my conversation going and my wing is gone already. I don't let it get to me and start to unwind and feel comfortable. She works at a beauty salon so I got some kino in talking about her getting her nails done and then gave her my hand and asked about my own. I touch lightly what she does now and what she will do in the future. Nothing deep or attraction building between us I admit. I held the conversation okay but if I ever talk to her again, I am starting from square one pretty much.

My wing later tells me that this is how his approach went:

My Wing: Hey how you doin tonight
HB7: Good and you
My Wing: *blah blah*

*Less then a thirty seconds of fluff later*

HB7: I got a boyfriend
My Wing: Yea well I got a girlfriend. I was only speaking to you because my boy need a wing for your friend and now that he is in, I don't need to speak to you anymore *ejects*

hahaha. What a clown! Needless to say, about a two minutes after I go in, I am gettin c0ckblocked from HB7 who now wants to leave the club and go home. She is talking in my target's ear and eventually I run out of steam and after wrapping up the sentence I go:

MF: Alright well let me get back to my friends
HBSalon: Alright then
MF: Actually... wats ur phone number?
HBSalon: Huh? Excuse you?
MF: Excuse me? Nah excuse you girl *smiling*
HBSalon: *smiles back* okay it is ***-****





This was on Friday, so today I decide I'm going to call her. I have the general gist of how the conversation should go and after a couple seconds of contemplating, I decide to do it, but it just rings and goes to voicemail. No messages left by me. What is the next step with unreturned phone calls? I leave for university in about a 7-10 days so I'm pressed for time, but I'm thinking about waiting a day and then calling her back again.

It looks like I got more flake than Kellogs in this journal, lol. I actually bumped into HBSalon again on NYE and she said that she didnt get my call and that there was no way I called her. I said okay whatever, let me get your # again and to make sure we are on the same page, I gave her my # too so that there is no confusion. Anywho, I decided to throw her a text @ like 10pm last night and there has been no response. If she gets back to me, I'll go for the hail mary but if not... next.

I tried to convince myself that there was more rapport than what was actually there when in actuality there obviously wasn't, & I also left on low points of the conversation instead of high points. I'm not attributing either of them as sole reasons for the Low IL, but they obviously aren't helping. I'll work on both of them fa sho.


Edit:
She responded to the text last night. I think my phone network is fvkked up and it sometimes takes hrs to get to her coz after she responded we were textin back and forth ever couple minutes like high schoolers but w/e. After a while i told her imma give her a call in a few to make sure she is cool and give my fingers a break. She texts "lol cool" We talked for 20 minutes or so. I found out a decent amount about her and we made kinda/sorta plans to see a movie together. So when I woke up this morning the first thing I did was hit up muscleman's journal about chicks in theaters and did some research, haha.

At about 4pm today I text her askin what movies are playin she says she hasn't checked. I respond that I think they're sh!tty and she says lets not go at all. A year or two ago i would have given up but now i'm hungry and need an outright rejection. So I tell her how about we just kick it for a bit and she says 'At wat time?' I suggest 9 or 10pm and all of a sudden it's too late for her? I see where this is goin so I say what time isn't too late and she says 'it's not the time, something else came up'. I'm seeing right thru the bullsh!t, so I text:

"it's cool if u don't want to chill. I wanted 2 kick it witchu and i thought u felt the same way, oh well, Pce"

She texts back some response apologizing, saying im a cool guy and she wants to kick it but something came up.

Fvck. a part of me is just calm as a motherfukker saying no response until I hear what I want to hear. But another part of me (the desperate part or the rational part, I haven't decided yet) is screaming that I need to try and follow through and try and reschedule for another day. However, the excuse didn't seem genuine and I think that since I'm working with a time restraint, cutting off complete contact might spike the IL.

Still undecided on what im gonna do. It's thundering at the moment so tonite is probably a write off but i'm going to wrestle some demons to decide whether to reinitiate conversation or not.