How to answer attention-seeking FB after giving her space?

There is sooo much great advise on this thread, it's amazing. I think anyone reading this can take something here and be able to apply it to thier lives and goals.

Gtarplyr, your post about sitting there for 45 minutes smoke a cigar thinking about her, caring, wanting to talk to her, etc. made me realize something.

The only card you have...ie, she holds all the aces, the only card you have left is indifference. Stop caring...period. Stop sitting there pondering the situation over a cigar analyzing every little thing she says and does. Why is this gal soo high and mighty? Why is she above all the over women? She's worthless from what I can see. Stop caring. Who cares if she sees you spinning other plates? Who cares what she wants at this point. I know it's easier said than done, but there is a ton of advise on this thread on how to do this. Do whatever you can to get her out of your mind.

If it were me, I'd move out of there asap. Freedom is something that men forget sometimes is the greatest gift we have. You have a good job, take ACTION. Move, and get on with your life.

Indeed, enough is enough. Consider the thread closed. My last post was not intended to be a defense of my behavior, but an explanation of it, in light of the latest insight. Consider it post-game analysis. But, enough. It is ludicrous to continue this particular discussion. The futility of the situation is abundantly obvious and it will cease to continue. I'm capable of so much more and deserve much better than this. Thanks to all for your genuine concern and advice. You have not given it in vain. Off to the Oneitis Detox Center and this thing called life...

GtarPlayr73 said:

despite the fact that I am talented at playing guitar and bass, creating art, and writing and am well-read in history, politics, and philosophy. I'm also a licensed private pilot.

I’m an introvert. I am proud of this, I accept it, and I don’t apologize for it.

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Wow, you have quite the resume. That's great!

And introversion was probably great for helping you to focus and develop those interests. BUT, in order to form SCs and spin plates...you MUST be able to shift into an extrovert mode at will! Introversion and extroversion BOTH have their RIGHTFUL places in a balanced life!

Natural introverts must be able to consciously become extroverted in order to get social lives.
Natural extroverts must be able to consciously become introverted in order to work on self-development.

I'm a natural introvert too. Hence, I am great at personal self-development. But, my social life has always been really weak too. So just recently, I've learned how to become extroverted at will in any social situations. The only difference is whether you focus your energy inward just around yourself...or outw@rds into a larger radius.

Make NO MISTAKE though - introversion is BAD for PU!!! You MUST be able to shift out of it when sarging or socializing! Otherwise, you are hugely handicapping yourself!

At least the good news here is that you've already got more than plenty tools and talents to share with others...so the only thing holding you back now IS your anti-social introversion.

Sinistar said:

They just love your type - the introverted, oneitis prone AFC beta who will wait for them, obesses over them and ultimately be left for another when the drama goes from fun to burdensome.

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Bingo! This AW sees GtarPlayr73 as emotional caulking to fill in the gaps in constant validation in her life. Whenever she has them at her convenience. Because she knows he is a lifeless beta - who will always be there for her at her beck & call - just like the ideal daddy she never had.

Meanwhile, GtarPlayr73 is a sucker for troubled girls because he can forget about his OWN problems by trying to fix someone else's! Role-playing Captain Save-A-H0 boosts his LSE and makes him feel like a winner, instead of such a "loser" in his own life. He is trying to save himself by saving another. Ever notice this is the case for many charity volunteers? Many of these people are trainwrecks themselves...yet are trying to help others! Always "easier" to fix someone else's problems than your own, right? Wyldfire, anyone???

wayword said:

Always "easier" to fix someone else's problems than your own, right? Wyldfire, anyone???

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...I've been reluctant to comment on this however I think GtarPlayr73's threads our are first definitive example (in quite some time now) of someone seeking help and getting overall good advice instead of being derailed in the way we had all come to expect.

One of the hardest things to do is to direct the focus back onto ourselves. Most of the answers we seek have been sitting right there in front of us our entire lives A perfect example is the times many of us spent being the AFC with no plates spinning. Once reduced to that mode we'd rather subtley friend our way into a relationship with a woman who needs saving than risk the direct rejection of just making a move. Now, had that same AFC taken the time to sit back and look at why he's really alone instead of entering relationship's like GtarPlay73's, he would eventually discover one simple fear holding him back - fear of the expected pain of rejection. And what's so silly is that it seems the expectation of the rejection actually increases the perceived pain of the rejection when it happens.

Now take your DJ who has figured this out. He no longer expects a rejection to hurt because he has fully realized with crystal clarity that a rejection from a women is not and has never been a painful event. It is just a conversation, words and gestures that either lead to two people getting to know each other or possibly never seeing each other again. The pain was always just a perception, driven by the fear of it happening in the first place.

Mr.Positive said:

Where's Vulpine on this? We need a DJ Math total on this situation.

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joekerr31 said:

thats it im officially out of this thread.

you must be a troll. either that or you are really really really stupid.

you are turning her into the princess that needs to be saved, when she anything but.

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There is only one fuxup: GtarPlayr73

Dude is all up on an internet forum writing novellas about a chick he isn't fuxing.



GtarPlayr73, you need to seriously study up on the info on this site. As of now, you are a USDA Prime grade douchebag - especially about this whole chick deal. No? This "side game at best" chick is your obsession.

Your mindset is waaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaay jacked. As a result, you're hard up, and it shows.

In your readings, you'll likely come across a little tidbit of advice: don't worry about women.

Why? How? What?

That's right, bro. If you had YOUR sh!t together, you'd have far more to be concerned with than the trifflings of a messed up little wh0re.

But... but... can't I... Isn't she... but, what if I...

Like I said, your mindset is jacked. You've got like some 4 threads dedicated to this chick. Obsess much?

By your threads and obsession, it's painfully obvious that you haven't studied DJ material NEARLY as much as you need to. See, the problem with this chick isn't the chick, it's you. If you're focus is external, like it is on this chick, you're a USDA Prime grade douchebag. You can't fault that chick for not wanting to get with that, or any other of the millions of other chicks you AREN'T obsessing over, but should be.

Your little inner dialogue about the chick playing tennis while smoking a cigar proves you're a douche. "There she is. OMG, omg, OMG! What if... I should just... well what if...." And sure as sh!t, there you went, like a little puppy when called, over to give her attention.

Why? Did you end up fuxing her? Of course not: she uses you as a dildo to give her ego-gasms. Who needs actual sex?

"Oh yeah, that's right. Oh, don't stop, come talk to me. Aaaahhhh YEEEEESSSSS! Here boy...*whistle* MOOOOORRRRREEEE!! DON'T STOP! OH, oH, OOOOH! That's right, stroke it. Strooooke IT. HARDER! STROKE MY EGO! THAT'S IT! Oh, god, MY EGO's COOOOMIIIIING!!!!"

Oh, wow. I need a cigarette.

That slimy feeling you have now is her ego-jizz all over you, dildo.

EDIT: I just read your post in general discussion. That anger, that distaste for women, is an indication that you might just be opening your eyes. Go with it, but don't dwell on the anger for too long: it will lead to misogyny, and that won't get you laid. (Actually, it will, but...) There's hope for you yet. You've got some reading to do, buddy.

Vulpine said:

That slimy feeling you have now is her ego-jizz all over you, dildo.

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Classic! lol