almost got into a fight with a woman at the grocery store

Drum&Bass

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2005
Messages
1,208
Reaction score
35
Age
44
Location
I travel
And out the blue she just starts talking, and says "All men don't want skinny women"
isn't this true ???

" A REAL man knows a REAL women when he sees it"
wouldn't a quality man recognize a quality woman ?? I'm not saying she is a quality woman...but then again neither is she.

"What do you think? A real man will date a woman with some meat on her"
this statement could be anyone who isn't anorexic..she didn't ask WOULD YOU DATE HER..its a general question..but for some reason I guess you thought you were better than her and your insecurities and low self esteem EMERGED..you immediately turned a general question about no one into a question ABOUT YOU

even worse..you insulted her for no reason and compared yourself to her and blatantly told her you were better than her.

backbreaker said:
If everyone is nice to me, I know I'm not doing something right
like i said before you seek validation from others, you are weak whether you want to admit it or not.

don't get me wrong she was TOTALLY FOUL FOR PUTTING HER HANDS ON YOU, and you would be right and justified to press charges..but in the moral scheme of things you publicly humiliated someone for simply making conversation with you.

why are you having trouble understanding this concept ?
 
Joined
Nov 8, 2005
Messages
869
Reaction score
2
Location
***** palace
Drum&Bass said:
isn't this true ???

wouldn't a quality man recognize a quality woman ?? I'm not saying she is a quality woman...but then again neither is she.

this statement could be anyone who isn't anorexic..she didn't ask WOULD YOU DATE HER..its a general question..but for some reason I guess you thought you were better than her and your insecurities and low self esteem EMERGED..you immediately turned a general question about no one into a question ABOUT YOU

even worse..you insulted her for no reason and compared yourself to her and blatantly told her you were better than her.

like i said before you seek validation from others, you are weak whether you want to admit it or not.

don't get me wrong she was TOTALLY FOUL FOR PUTTING HER HANDS ON YOU, and you would be right and justified to press charges..but in the moral scheme of things you publicly humiliated someone for simply making conversation with you.

why are you having trouble understanding this concept ?
Ya that's what I was saying about how I would have just ignored her... it's like a homeless guy, no need to tell him that he's a loser for not getting a job. His body image already sends the message to everyone and he knows it too, there's no need to reenforce it. That's just going overboard, I think the thread starter probably misheard the fat girl and thought it was a personal attack towards him. But, I would have done the samething if she started to attack me verbally. Fine line between standing up for yourself and escalating/instigating fights.
 

gmillar

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2005
Messages
187
Reaction score
2
Age
35
Location
BC Canada
D&B your argument has no merit, she asked a question and he answered honestly, he didn't go out of his way to insult her. Something most North Americans have to learn is to accept the responsibilities of their own actions, and it doesn't seem like she was able to do that.
 

Drum&Bass

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2005
Messages
1,208
Reaction score
35
Age
44
Location
I travel
WTF is wrong with you people !!!!!! no wonder sosuave has become a cess pool of rats and fools !!

you think any of you have the RIGHT TO JUDGE AND MIS-TREAT SOMEONE BASED ON HOW THEY LOOK !! just because some of you disgruntled AFC's were blown off or flaked on by some rude women DOES NOT MEAN ANYONE SHOULD JUDGE OR ASSUME ANYTHING ABOUT PEOPLE...

so what if she was an attractive girl who uses men for their money and asked you the same question ???

my point is, alot of you guys are HUGE DIS-APPOINTMENTS..just because you are NOT attracted to a woman, or a woman is over weight it does NOT mean she isn't a good person, you don't know her life, what shes been through or what she's lost... good people have bad days...good people come in all shapes and sizes even over weight...

bad people pass judgement and mis-treat someone based on how they look
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,567
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
First of all DandB, you are nitpicking.

There is Petitie, in shape, and warthog.

For instance, my mother isn't skinny.. but she is VERY in shape, works out everyday.. she will never be 5'5 110.. I think she's 130ish.. but she's not FAT.

There is nothign wrong with that


There isn't a guy on earth.. wait I take that back.. there isn't a guy in America that would date a pig over a HB8 with a cokebttle figure.

There are guys who tell themselves and you and I that because they have accecpted their reality, and in the "if you build it, they will come" sense, try to convince themselves that they do like bigger women. These same guys that "like big women better" are the same guys that have pictures of supermodel s in the my pictures folder


The only difference between that guy and me is instead of settling, I stepped up my game. There is a post by pook called..shoot I forgot.. but he made a post that hit on this verbatim.


I prefer petite women. that's my preference. My best friend happens to perfer women with a little, with the emphasis being little, meat on their bones. His fiancee is I think 5'6 140. she's not my type but she isn't ugly and I can see how guys can go her.

But there is a difference between 150 and 250.. 100 pounds of per D fat difference.

You really are missing the point DandB. You are right in the sense I know a real woman when I see one. however, what everyone in the post is saying, is that just because you are FAT doesn't qualify you as REAL..which was what she was implying

I know a couple of bigger women who have their **** together.. all but their weight. For whatever the reason may be. Every morning, they make a conscious decision not to eat right, not to go to the gym, just like i make a conscious decision to swim everyday, to eat right and to go to the gym.. we both rep what we sowed.

low self esteem? lol, i'm as ****y as they come.. because I work for it.what reason do I have to have low self esteem? I'm good looking, I'm well off financially, I'm smart, i can speak 3 languages, I have below 10BF, I can dress, and I live out my passion everyday, and at any point I can call at least 2 women and have a date in less than 10 minutes.

I used to be overweight.. i was 235 about 3 years ago, about 30% BF. now i'm 168 and 8%. And that had nothing to with genetics, that had to do with me taking my then fat ass to the gym, watching what I ate and educating myself on living a healthier life.


You don't ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to.. that's what's wrong with society now. we give *****es and people in general a free pass because we don't want to hurt their feelings.

If you think you are fat, don't' ask me "am i fat" if you can't prepare for the possibility that YOU ARE FAT

If I went out and pulled my **** out and asked every girl in sight "is my **** small" and I thought it MIGHT be small... and a girl says "ive seen bigger", and I go off and beat her up, is she wrong for telling me I have a small ****? According to you yes.


It's the general "crab" rule in effect. Put crabs in a bucket and watch them pull each other down when they try to get out. People don't want you to succeed because when you do, that means they (you) have to look in the mirror. So in that sense, no, if everyone I know is nice to me, EVERYONE, that means I'm not doing something right in life.

the most successful people on earth are usually have some of the most enemies.

Again I don't know what you are trying to accomplish, but i have a date, I'm out for the night
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

spesmilitis

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2006
Messages
1,509
Reaction score
6
gmillar said:
D&B your argument has no merit, she asked a question and he answered honestly, he didn't go out of his way to insult her. Something most North Americans have to learn is to accept the responsibilities of their own actions, and it doesn't seem like she was able to do that.
There was a buttload of maliciousness in his response. Yes, it was honest, and he was honest about the hate he has towards her. However, she didn't do anything to deserve hate. There was no hate in her question. Stupidity, yes. Hate, no.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,567
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
PeterNorthisawesome said:
Ya that's what I was saying about how I would have just ignored her... it's like a homeless guy, no need to tell him that he's a loser for not getting a job. His body image already sends the message to everyone and he knows it too, there's no need to reenforce it. That's just going overboard, I think the thread starter probably misheard the fat girl and thought it was a personal attack towards him. But, I would have done the samething if she started to attack me verbally. Fine line between standing up for yourself and escalating/instigating fights.
did you not see where I said I tried to pay her no attention. Then she pushes me on the shoulder and turns me around when I tried this. I tried to take the high road.... you guys act like I just go out looking to harp on fat people.

maybe I didn't do a good enough job explaining the situtation. It's not the fact that she was loud and I was tired of her.. she was loud, right next to me, and pushing on me when I wouldn't turn around to look at her
 

bigjohnson

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2007
Messages
2,441
Reaction score
37
I would have been more polite. Using tact doesn't mean lying.
 

spesmilitis

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2006
Messages
1,509
Reaction score
6
backbreaker, we aren't disagreeing that fat people are not attractive. It was the hate you displayed in your scuffle.
 

spesmilitis

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2006
Messages
1,509
Reaction score
6
backbreaker said:
did you not see where I said I tried to pay her no attention. Then she pushes me on the shoulder and turns me around when I tried this. I tried to take the high road.... you guys act like I just go out looking to harp on fat people.

maybe I didn't do a good enough job explaining the situtation. It's not the fact that she was loud and I was tired of her.. she was loud, right next to me, and pushing on me when I wouldn't turn around to look at her
But she wasn't on intending to hurt you in anyway. She did annoy you, and would have annoyed me. But, shes just stupid, not a bad person. Do you really want to hate someone for being stupid? By hate, I don't mean loathe/pity/disdain, but the type of hate where you wish bad things happen upon the person you hate.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,567
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
and that's the difference between you and I.

All attempts to use "tact", which I am very much capable of, went out the window when she yells at me in front of 10 people and pushes me when I tried to use it in the first place.. She got exactly what she wanted.. a sideshow
 

bigjohnson

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2007
Messages
2,441
Reaction score
37
I'm not angry and insecure inside, probably a few more differences. Saying something like "Most guys I know prefer slimmer women" would have been honest and not a direct insult, nor would it have made it personal.

To each his own. I don't believe in Karma as an entity but I do believe we tend to reap what we sow.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,567
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
while we are at it, it would have been better if she pulled me aside and asked my opinion rather than putting me in an uncomfortable situtation the way she did.

that's what's wrong with guys now.. we are so quick to side with women, regardless of what they do, never holding them to account for ****. The woman pushed me, and she's bigger than me. If I would have turned around and socked her no one would be the wiser, but I don't hit women, and even if I did, this situtation didn't warrant that type of action.I'd hate to see some of you with women you actually would like to have sex with

again, like you said, to each his own. maybe next time she will think before she does something that foolish.
 

bigjohnson

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2007
Messages
2,441
Reaction score
37
In my case it has nothing to do with her being a woman. A man asking for an opinion on something would have gotten the same sort of simple direct answer. I suspect in your case your response had everything to do with her being a woman and the question itself.

She's an idiot and you behaved poorly. No need to make it a Federal case.
 

The Forms

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 12, 2005
Messages
379
Reaction score
10
I gotta side with bb here. She was being rude and tactless, so it's not out of line to react in kind.

It really gets to me too when I hear a woman talk about a "real woman." Because all they are doing is pointing out one characteristic about themselves that has little or nothing to do with their womanhood per se, and deciding that that is what defines a woman as real. As if being obese is what makes a woman "real." In another situation I'm sure the same woman would argue being loving, or loyal or whatever is what makes her a "real" woman.

Kind of like guys here who talk about "real men" and they're just pointing out some trait that has nothing to do with your worth as a man (or, more often, picking out ONE trait and using that is a defining characteristic even though if they weren't making their argument they would likely agree that what makes a man a man is a million different characteristics at varying levels, or something like that.)

Being at risk for diabetes and heart disease does not make you a real woman. If she's going to be tactless and rude, she recieves it in kind. I think that that's fair

And she knows it. She knows that men aren't attracted to obesity. That's why she asks about a woman with "a little meat on her." So you can answer, "sure a little meat is great" even though she's got a lot of meat. A little meat is great (hips are sexier than hip bones, you know?) but obesity is more than a little meat.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

bigjohnson

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2007
Messages
2,441
Reaction score
37
The Forms said:
I gotta side with bb here. She was being rude and tactless, so it's not out of line to react in kind.
It's only not out of line if you're no better than she is. The quality of a person is told by their actions. You want to be no better than she is? React in kind.
 

The Forms

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 12, 2005
Messages
379
Reaction score
10
bigjohnson said:
It's only not out of line if you're no better than she is. The quality of a person is told by their actions. You want to be no better than she is? React in kind.
So he's a more "quality person" if he lies to her? Wouldn't telling her the straight truth, as he sees it, to a straight question make him a more quality person than lying to placate her?
 

Crank_It_Up

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2004
Messages
548
Reaction score
1
backbreaker said:
... And out the blue she just starts talking, and says "All men don't want skinny women" then " A REAL man knows a REAL women when he sees it"

There can't be REAL skinny women? why must every blimp on earth revert to the "I'm REAL clause?".. I was pretty "REAL" in my AFC days but nobody gave a ****.

...this woman was every bit of 250.


Out of ALL the people in line, and the people next to us.. about 10... she had to ask ME out of the blue... "What do you think? A real man will date a woman with some meat on her"

So I try to pretend like I don't hear her... then she catches an attitude. "Uh.. you don't hear me talking to you"..

...So I say "To be honest, at least in my case, I'm not going to lower my standards because you are too lazy to go to the gym or to put down the Red Barron Pizza's (10 of them in her cart), I can't speak for everyone but I have options"...
just because her size threatened your masculinity, that is still no reason to say what you did... a real man would have shrugged it off, and said "of course"
 

lebRambo

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2005
Messages
715
Reaction score
3
Drum&Bass said:
bad people pass judgement and mis-treat someone based on how they look
you just described a majority of people walking the earth, both men and women. Your glasses, no matter how rose-coloured, do not change the truth about people.

And backbreaker, I agree entirely with your actions. Over and above putting this waste of air in her place, you amused yourself at the expense of someone who deserved it. Congratulations! :)

People should stop being so touchy-feely about this kind of thing. Why is it that telling a smoker that he/she is going to kill themselves and shaming them for their own choice be okay when you can't tell an overeater that they should lead a healthier life? I don't agree with either, but it still is a double standard.
 
Top