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How come offsprings don't take care of their parents in the Western culture?

BMW

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Usually the son or the daughter just put their parents in a nursing home and check up on them once in while. Why not have them live with you and take care of them or hire someone to take care of them at your home. If they can afford nursing home, they can afford that too. I think they just can't be bothered.

Vice versa, the parents in Western culture can't wait to see their kids move out so they can have the whole house to themselves. I don't understand.

The Western culture lacks family values. No wonder the divorce rate is 50%, drug and alcohol abuse is crazy, casual sex is ongoing. Selfishness and rudeness is out of hand. BUT STILL, I LOVE THIS COUNTRY AND WOULD NOT LIVE ANYWHERE ELSE!
 

sparky0000

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..

First, America is not a good place for heterosexual males. Great place if you are a homosexual, but a REALLY poor place for a heterosexual male. America is much too progressive. Feminism screwed up America in a huge way. The America of 2006 is not the America of even 20 years ago. Very sad. The reason for a board like this is because of how bad things are in the Anglo-Saxon world. Southern and Eastern Europe are much better for the heterosexual male.

Secondly, maybe if American mothers actually cared about their children things would be different. American mothers are the most self-centered people on earth.

Remember, it isn't "Western" society. It is mainly Anglo-Saxon society. Anglo-Saxon females have issues. Big issues. Old people homes are very rare in very Western places like Italy, Spain, Greece, and France.

http://www.chass.utoronto.ca/~ngargano/corsi/100/mamma.art.html
This is the same for most of Southern and Eastern Europe. I would say that in 2006 it is even more pronounced. I visit Italy very regularly and I know of few 30 year old males who are married or live away from home. Why should they? They can still go to discos, have nice cars, and clothing as well as not worry about being labeled an "old" guy. Do girls care that you live at home? Nope, some might think it was strange that you didn't live at home. Plus, the mothers are the best. Everyone truly loves their mothers. Very nice to see. In America most 30 year old men have mothers that are only thinking about "finding themselves".
 

DJDamage

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Parents at old age can destroy your family life and complicate more things when they move back in with you, and unfortunly many of those parents did not know how to save or just couldn't and now they do not have money and are burden on the kids (just like the kids were burden on them).

Part of the problem is people are living longer, which is not a problem in itself but the longer they live the longer it is likely that their health will deteriorate and the longer they will need help. Society has yet to find a solution to this problem because people are living longer and longer, health care costs are increasing and they are outnumbering the younger generation.

I think each culture has different mentality of how to deal with this. I think the Eskimos were the worst they used to send their elders to sea on a boat if they become too much of a burden since they become completley useless and were using too many resources which endangered the whole family itself. Today in the majority of the world people barley reach their 70's so they can function productively more or less until they die off.

In nature turning old is un-natural because the older you get the more you are prone to diseases, the more difficult it becomes to escape predators and compete for food. You will never see the number of old animals surpassing the number of young ones in nature but its happening for humans in Western Civilization.

DJD
 

Desdinova

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Why not have them live with you and take care of them or hire someone to take care of them at your home.
If I did this with my parents, I'd probably end up killing them before their time comes.

The Western culture lacks family values.
You really can't generalize everyone when you have no clue about the different situations that these people are in. If the parents abused or neglected their children, they won't want the burden of caring for someone who didn't give a 5hit about them or their feelings.
 

Bible_Belt

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Every financial planner will tell you to buy Long Term Care insurance for Mom and Dad. The alternative is to spend all of their assets on health care until they are broke and eligible for free and crappy care under Medicaid.
 

picard

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BMW said:
Usually the son or the daughter just put their parents in a nursing home and check up on them once in while. Why not have them live with you and take care of them or hire someone to take care of them at your home. If they can afford nursing home, they can afford that too. I think they just can't be bothered.

Vice versa, the parents in Western culture can't wait to see their kids move out so they can have the whole house to themselves. I don't understand.

The Western culture lacks family values. No wonder the divorce rate is 50%, drug and alcohol abuse is crazy, casual sex is ongoing. Selfishness and rudeness is out of hand. BUT STILL, I LOVE THIS COUNTRY AND WOULD NOT LIVE ANYWHERE ELSE!

no doubt. western culture doesn't cultivate the idea family as unit. A strong family unit can withstand wars, disasters, personal tradgedies. Chinese family structure is based on Confucious ideology. I won't go into details explaining it. Chinese families have prospered and survived through WWII, famine, bubonic plague, political upheaval. Chinese even prosper in muslim countries such as malaysia because they rely on family connections to help them in every aspects of life. Muslims hate chinese a great deal that they ban chinese children from attending university in malaysia. Chinese can't get bank loans to start business hence they have to rely on family members. Chinese control most of financial assets in Malaysia even though they are greatly discriminated by the majority of muslims. That is the strength of family unit. Chinese family blood line can be quite large comprising of thousands of people who share same last name , DNA exactly. Chinese culture doesn't allow non family member to take the name of another family.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Here's a question. Why don't parents in the Western culture know how to prepare for their retirement effectively and then teach their children how to be self sufficient themselves instead of coming back home after college complaining that they can't find a job leaving their parents to not only pay for their education that didn't pay off but also take care of their 20-something children who they'll probably have to help support at least until their thirties... whew....

No, I don't have any college kids at home....
 

Docs

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Retirement is a newer idea. Not many people thought that life's expenses would go up, so the little planning they did was ineffective.

Also, blame the credit card and not paying it off.
 

picard

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I am chinese. I always take care of parents in their old age. I would never think of otherwise. It is just the logical and natural way of raising the family.
 

diplomatic_lies

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During the 1970s, the western baby boomer generation were irresponsible teens. They smoked crack, had sex a lot, and became hippies.

And then the government ran out of welfare money...and those baby boomers are screwed. And to make things worse, WE (generation X and Y) are forced to pay higher taxes to support the baby boomers.

Yep, lovely society we live in. The strong work hard so the weak don't have to work at all.
 

skeeloo

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sparky0000 said:
First, America is not a good place for heterosexual males. Great place if you are a homosexual, but a REALLY poor place for a heterosexual male. America is much too progressive. Feminism screwed up America in a huge way. The America of 2006 is not the America of even 20 years ago. Very sad. The reason for a board like this is because of how bad things are in the Anglo-Saxon world. Southern and Eastern Europe are much better for the heterosexual male.

Secondly, maybe if American mothers actually cared about their children things would be different. American mothers are the most self-centered people on earth.

Remember, it isn't "Western" society. It is mainly Anglo-Saxon society. Anglo-Saxon females have issues. Big issues. Old people homes are very rare in very Western places like Italy, Spain, Greece, and France.

http://www.chass.utoronto.ca/~ngargano/corsi/100/mamma.art.html
This is the same for most of Southern and Eastern Europe. I would say that in 2006 it is even more pronounced. I visit Italy very regularly and I know of few 30 year old males who are married or live away from home. Why should they? They can still go to discos, have nice cars, and clothing as well as not worry about being labeled an "old" guy. Do girls care that you live at home? Nope, some might think it was strange that you didn't live at home. Plus, the mothers are the best. Everyone truly loves their mothers. Very nice to see. In America most 30 year old men have mothers that are only thinking about "finding themselves".

what u said is soo true man,

anyway majority of italians , greeks,africans etc, love their mamas i got this italian friend that divorced his canadian *****y wife because she refused him from seeing his sick mama i couldnt believe that heres a guy whos got a sick mom and the slut says you cant see her? geez.
for real the western society and morals will continue to fall in the pits i doubt im gonna marry a western woman anyway.
 

A-Unit

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Re:

This isn't 100% in the US, though it is declining overall. Some families do have small attached units for their parents. However, AT SOME POINT, the parents health will decline to a point the children cannot care for them. This is a reality of how life is lived in the US. We match expenses to income, nearly, then barely save enough for the ourselves, let alone, the parents or kids. With that in mind, few families can transition to caring for parents. I do many families that parental units attached, and Long-Term Care as the safety net IF and WHEN the parents are sick enough to require such care.

It's an UN-reality now. My grandmother on my father's side said if "anyone wants her money, they better let her live with them", but it's very degrading. At some point, a parent may have alzheimer's, incontinence, barely be able to walk, to dress, to eat, or have some moments of dimensia. Do you want such drama around young children? Do you want to be dipering your parent's? Can you afford to restructure your home to be disabled friendly? Sure, if your parents are in their bristling 60-80's (about), you can have them move in with you, but as the population ages, people are not ABLE to care for parents in a way that would be comfortable AND medically feasible.

My mother's a nurse, and she can't POSSIBLY come home and THEN care for her parents, too. It was sad enough she acted as liason for our grandparents, since most of the nurses/doctors weren't that good as our relatives were passing, and she helped decipher what they were saying and/or needing.

It was the way it was, because both parents weren't working, they didn't live long enough to develop SERIOUS medical issues that require professional care, and they had MORE people living at home longer that could pitch in with various chores. I have visited/dated Asian families, and they are the last race that is adhering to these 'old ways'. One particular girl had some 5 or 6 siblings, and 4 of them were with kids and a wife/girlfriend. ALL of them lived at home, so there were about 15-20 people. Each person had a specific talent that was valuable to the homestead. One brother/son was a carpenter, one a mechanic, one a regular worker, the mother a cook, the daughters/daughters-in-law watched the kids, transported them around, etc.

It begins and ends with family values and changing demographics. We're living longer, get more serious illnesses that don't necessarily kill us, only disable us, there are less kids, and most of these kids cannot afford the time off from work. And adding to the mounting pressure are high divorce rates. It's not all women, but they might not help the situation either.



A-Unit
 

Skel

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I dont know about you but my parents....they better be saving because they arent living with me :p Sounds harsh but thats truth
 

picard

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Skel said:
I dont know about you but my parents....they better be saving because they arent living with me :p Sounds harsh but thats truth

have you ask your parents if they are savings ? perhaps they save money for ship cruise in Bahamas. :whistle:
 
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