C+F, Who uses it and What do you think?

Jukeboxhero · Oct 22, 2005

I finally purchased my first dating advice "book". Of course I'm talking about David DeAngelo's C&F Book, DoubleyourDating (although, if my dating is at 0 right now, will doubling it really help?)

Anyways, I definetly agree with everything he suggests in the first 50 pages, which is basically just common sense self-improvment stuff. But then I get to the part where he explains how he uses C&F, and some of the ideas I can see working but others...well, I'm not sure they would always work on everyone. Especially when he says to be somewhat serious and not let them think your joking around.

SO I want to know a few things
1. Does C&F work for you?
2. Do you agree with David D.'s method of C&F?
3. Do you think there are exceptions or limitations to using C&F?
For example, people who you just want to have as friends or people you shouldn't or don't want to date? OR do you only use C&F in particular situations?
Next, if you think you are good at rating C&F or just have a good idea of how it works, I would appreciate it if you read the following story on how I tried to use C&F today.I been reading DYD lately and I have a few inquiries I would like and some ideas I need your opinoin on.

I volunteered to help out with a wedding today in the Banquest dept. at my hotel. There was this new girl that was pretty cute but a bit bossy, although partially because I don't work in that dept much so I DO need to be told what I need to do. I was pretty busy, but during a slow moment me and another friend were standing around
and the other guy asked her what her name was. Now her name tag said something like Kaoutar (earlier I asked her where that came from and she said "Nowhere", I should have picked on her for having such a boring or uninteresting name with no cool story behind it)
But when he asked she said.
"Carrie"
Me: What? it's not Carrie, it's 'Katar'
Her: No it's Carrie.
Other Guy: How can it be Carrie *looks at her name tag* there's NOT an 'r' or 'i' at the end.
After that we picked on for awhile on how she couldn't possibly have a name like "Carrie" when her nametag said 'Kaoutar'.
Me. Apparently, she can just make up the rules when it comes to how her name is pronounced.
Her: Of course, I ALWAYS make the rules! Then she proceeded to Stare intensley into my eyes.
Unfortunately, I didn't have a good comeback for that but I chuckled a bit and looked away smiling.
I looked back and she was still staring at me.
I mumbled something about how "You don't get out enough" (in order to be in a place that doesn't go by her rules.
Now that I think about it, I should have said something like "Well, obviously you've never been with a real man." or "you've never spent a day in my world"

The work day continues and each banquet person gets their own section to maintain. I'm a volunteer however, so I get to be a "floater". As I look for someone to help, this guy named Frankie grabs me and starts telling me how I can help him with his 5 tables. Only a few minutes pass until she comes by again and says, "Alright, your with me!" and proceeds to have me follow her around and help her out. Of course, I got tossed around a lot and helped a lot of people and of course I always had to be told what to do but she just seemed a little more bossy about it, plus she's only been there for month or so. ( I should have said soemthing about how I'm 'High in Demand' or made some remark about her coming on to me since she practically set it up saying I'm with her)

Anyways, at the very end I had some more C+F lines I wanted to use but the situation didn't really present itself.
What I WOULD have said those was something to the effect of ...
"Geeez, After working with "Carrie" for a few hours, I know what it feels like to be married now".
Probably followed by.
"Something about weddings gives females this dominating power rush, knowing they can imprison a Man for the rest of his life"
Perhaps followed by a mock evil laugh.

Anyways, that's what I did or perhaps SHOULD've done, but I Want to know what you think? Do you think any of it is good C+F material? (even the stuff I didn't use)or do you have better ideas for what I should have done, or perhaps can do in the future if I see her again.
OR what would you have done? Remember, it's your job to be somebody's assitant so you can't just walkway and not help her.

Joe The Homophobe · Oct 22, 2005

Congrats on your quest to get women and you have taken the right step by getting David D's book. This has been discussed a thousand times before

C&F WORKS! IT IS A PROVEN FACT! END OF STORY!

3. Do you think there are exceptions or limitations to using C&F?
For example, people who you just want to have as friends or people you shouldn't or don't want to date? OR do you only use C&F in particular situations?

why do you even ask that? obviously you aint going to use C&F on a 200 pound fat chick you dont want are you? there you have your answer. Use C&F on girls you want, HB's etc. Use C&F when/wherever you want.

should you use C&F with friends? yes, to increase your popularity (just use a slightly toned down C&F (not as ****y). Just beware some of your female friends might get attracted to you and may want to ride your ***** ,so use C&F with caution!

BobbyJ · Oct 23, 2005

****y and Funny does work, but it is only a part of the process. It can create attraction and help maintain it, but it can't stand alone.

You can say C&F jokes all you want, but if you can't make her feel comfortable around you, it's going to be a problem.

Regarding your situation. You asked her where her name came from and she said "No where." I would have responded, "That must mean that you're a no one."

And how she said her name was "Carrie" but she spelled it weird, I probably would've teased her about not being able to spell, and recommend "hooked on phonics".

Also, you could've mentioned that my tag says my name is "jukeboxhero", but it's really pronounced "Frank" or some other name and mention how some of the letters are silent.

A recent story of making ****y & funny jokes. I was leaving work and there is a new secretary. She's not really what I would consider attractive but whatever. I left work around 6 p.m., and the secretaries normally stay until 5. And so I found it odd that she was still there. So I just asked, "What time do you get off work?"

And she said, "Oh, 5 p.m."

And so I replied, "Oh gosh, the new girl can't tell time. You know it's already 6 p.m."

We joked around a little more.

She eventually asked for my name. A cynic might say that she only asked for my name because she is new, but it's a pretty big building that I work in and there are hundreds of employees that pass through and she doesn't say hi to them.

BobbyJ

DJHoolahoop · Oct 23, 2005

I had been using C+F for years and not knowing it. At least I feel it's C+F in comparison to what other people on here consider C+F and from the responses from women.

Only because I didn't have the rest of my "game" together, I didn't see the signals that these women were getting into it. I had no idea that my saying those things actually did anything. I figured I was just having a good time with her and that she too was having a good time with it. And in the end I'd always walk away, probably confusing the heck out of the girl too.

I'm definitely a guy who uses C+F and will say that it does a great job of getting girl's attention. It doesn't, however, make her want you or want to go out with you... everything else you have to do will do that. It's just one of the many things you have to be ready to do depending on the girl you're talking to. Not all girls "get" C+F, so you have to watch out for the ones that take it too literally.

Like most types of learning, first you read the theory, then you apply the knowledge. Try it out!

green69 · Oct 23, 2005

You're trying too hard.

This whole 'using C+F' business is just stupid IMO. When you are really being ****y and funny, you shouldn't be TRYING to be ****y and funny. It should just come naturally from being comfortable with a girl and just having a good time.

Don't listen to all the people saying "you should said this! you could've said this instead on that part..." that's just supplicating to attract her. Be confident, don't care what she thinks about you. When you are happy with yourself and don't need the approval of some girl...you will be very comfortable and be naturally ****y and funny.

MixMaxster · Oct 23, 2005

Originally posted by green69
You're trying too hard.
***
Don't listen to all the people saying "you should said this! you could've said this instead on that part..." that's just supplicating to attract her. ... When you are happy with yourself and don't need the approval of some girl...you will be very comfortable and be naturally ****y and funny.

exactly

KarmaSutra · Oct 23, 2005

My observation about ****y Comedy and the rest of the DD stuff is this:

1. It's good to use for you're opening.

2. It's not the best stuff to use for sets of 3 or more (You'll get someone trying to jockey for position as head of the table and invariably try to bust your balls).

3. The theory behind CC is much better than actual use. It's getting to the point that it's becoming Mine '99-ish. Overused/Not used in proper context.

4. I don't know about the rest of the fellas here with experience and natural game, But as a writer, I've found the best way to learn about people and develop instincts is to get out and meet people. All kinds of people.

I've taught myself direction from inside out. That, my friends, works.

\O/ · Oct 23, 2005

Originally posted by green69
You're trying too hard.

This whole 'using C+F' business is just stupid IMO. When you are really being ****y and funny, you shouldn't be TRYING to be ****y and funny. It should just come naturally from being comfortable with a girl and just having a good time.

Don't listen to all the people saying "you should said this! you could've said this instead on that part..." that's just supplicating to attract her. Be confident, don't care what she thinks about you. When you are happy with yourself and don't need the approval of some girl...you will be very comfortable and be naturally ****y and funny.

Sure the IDEAL thing would be to be naturally ****y and funny as a result of high confidence. But for many people this is not something that comes natural and therefore has to be learnt and praticed. It's a skill that has to be developed. The things we are not good at requires practice..

locarius · Oct 23, 2005

I am a huge advocate of the DYD material in general, but here is the thing:

If you do not fully understand what ****y comedy is, or have never hung around someone who is CF then you might be wasting your time. You will screw it up if you dont know what it is.

A HUGE part of CF is bodylanguage, tonality, confidence. You have to KNOW that you are going to get a laugh, or else it will sound really really lame.

Practice ****y comedy with your guy friends, and when you feel like you are doing well, work it into your interactions with women.

Sign up for Dave D's newsletter, because he gives a LOT of really funny / ****y material in those things.

Also remember, It has to be funny first, ****y second. If you are just ****y and not funny you come off as a ****.

Jukeboxhero · Oct 23, 2005

Originally posted by KarmaSutra
My observation about ****y Comedy and the rest of the DD stuff is this:

1. It's good to use for you're opening.

I kinda agree with you but from what I understand DYD says to keep it up for awhile. ALso, I could see using it as an opener but sometimes I think you have to get them in the right mood. Like show them your sorta joking in some way

2. It's not the best stuff to use for sets of 3 or more (You'll get someone trying to jockey for position as head of the table and invariably try to bust your balls).
I can see where that might happen. This guy was really cool with me though, he was helping me kinda pick on about her name. She had a pretty DOMINANT personality though.

3. The theory behind CC is much better than actual use. It's getting to the point that it's becoming Mine '99-ish. Overused/Not used in proper context.
What is Mine 99-ish? To be honest most places I go I don't see it used that much. AT least not the ****y part. I know a lot of guys who are good at teasing girls and being funny but there is no real ****iness.
4. I don't know about the rest of the fellas here with experience and natural game, But as a writer, I've found the best way to learn about people and develop instincts is to get out and meet people. All kinds of people.

I definetly want to do that. Right now I'm going to experiment when I go out to places where I don't care what people think of me and I'll probably never see them again, such as bars and clubs. I'm going to try to not use it around my good friends who I have a decent reputation with.

Like Locarius said, I'm sure you have to say it just right and with the right body language to make it effective.

Also, Green69, I've been raised as a humble, accomodating, do-whatever-I can-to-help-someone kinda guy. Now I don't want to change that nessecarily but I am light on the confidence side and sometimes I'm a bit of a pushover. So while I do have a good sense of humor sometimes I'm just not confident to utilize to it's full potential around attractive women. But I appreciate the advice about not trying to hard--honestly I didn't think that hard to come up with most of that stuff, I just didn't use it because I didn't feel the timing was appropriate.

Sometimes, I almost prevent myself from having a conversation cuz I don't think I'll be able to come up with C&F. THen I realized it's better to at least do some kind approach. Even a nice guy approach might be better than nothing at all

Jariel · Oct 23, 2005

A C+F personality can be fun and appealing, but contrived C+F lines are plain awkward. As others have said, it has to be integrated into your personality...and most importantly it has to be funny!

I am very ****y and funny in lighthearted situations, but I do it in a very comical and farfetched way, almost like a wrestling bad guy. I talk about my fans, about being a role model to my friends and supermodels stalking me and alike.

Sometimes, if I'm comfortable enough, I get very daring with it and will flat out accuse women of wanting me. E.g. a girl I was with recently stumbled on one of her heels and I accused her of getting weak at the knees after seeing me. She denied it and I told her "it's ok, you don't have to be embarrassed. You're a woman, you have desires, and it's perfectly natural to feel that way about me". She hit me playfully and I told her "see, you just can't keep your hands off me".

Obviously, it's exaggerated to the point where it can't be mistaken for genuine arrogance, yet still very confident...and funny.

To use it effectively you need to be able to improvise. I usually get loads of neghits thrown at me when I talk like this, which can turn into a repetoire. But if you rely on rehearsed C+F lines, you won't know how to deal with this.

But you do need to know when to draw the line. If you use c+f all the time, you'll just be "the funny guy" or the clown. And don't base your entire game on c+f. Work on conversation, building rapport and flirting.

green69 · Oct 23, 2005

Originally posted by \O/
Sure the IDEAL thing would be to be naturally ****y and funny as a result of high confidence. But for many people this is not something that comes natural and therefore has to be learnt and praticed. It's a skill that has to be developed. The things we are not good at requires practice..

Very true. I used to not flirt very much at all, because I was always afraid what the girl thought of me. I knew I was a naturally ****y/funny guy...but when I was with girls I never let it out because I was supplicating to some degree. So over time you get the hang of it, and practice it to some extent until it's apart of your personality.

However, I strongly caution against planned lines and overanalyzing the process. It's one thing to have the confident, carefree mindset...and another to develop a contrived list of one liners to use at situations. A lot of times I see some of these lines presented by members at this forum in their field reports...and it just seems so obviously planned.

You should keep working on your flirting, but don't go analyzing every single situation thinking "what you could've said here, what you could've said there." just have fun with it. Remember learning how to be ****y and funny is supposed to be FUN. Don't make it a chore by feeling like you have to put on a show everytime you're with a girl. There are many times when you won't have a ****y comeback for a girls remark...and theres nothing wrong with that because it's natural.

Egoist · Oct 23, 2005

hmmm

i dont know, ive always been naturally C&F, and actually tried to suppress it during my AFC stage...

when i discovered that chicks love it however... MUAHAHAHAHAH

\O/ · Oct 23, 2005

Originally posted by green69

However, I strongly caution against planned lines and overanalyzing the process. It's one thing to have the confident, carefree mindset...and another to develop a contrived list of one liners to use at situations. A lot of times I see some of these lines presented by members at this forum in their field reports...and it just seems so obviously planned.

I agree. But if you find yourself in a situation where one of the "lines" you have read or heard somewhere fits, then i think you should throw it out there..It will sound spontanious and not rehearsed. So the more "canned c&f lines " you know, the more likely you are to come up with a response to a any random situation. After a while of practicing you will be able to think up **** all by yourself. You can also adjust the "concept" behind your canned lines and modify them so that they suit that particular situation. But i totally agree..It CAN'T seem obviously planned..That's a killer...

It's all about taking what you've learned and adapt it to any given situation..

syncmaster · Oct 23, 2005

Didn't bother reading the post but C/F is the best way to go as long as it's natural.

C+F, Who uses it and What do you think?

Jukeboxhero

Senior Don Juan

Joe The Homophobe

Master Don Juan

BobbyJ

Don Juan

DJHoolahoop

Senior Don Juan

green69

Senior Don Juan

MixMaxster

Don Juan

KarmaSutra

Banned

\O/

Master Don Juan

locarius

Don Juan

Jukeboxhero

Senior Don Juan

Jariel

Master Don Juan

green69

Senior Don Juan

Egoist

Master Don Juan

\O/

Master Don Juan

syncmaster

Master Don Juan