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View Full Version : Paralyzed by girls giving me the "deer in headlights" look -- can't smile at them!


numlock
07-14-2003, 02:07 PM
oftentimes i find myself locking eyes with a girl without hesitation or fear, but then the girl just stares right back at me like a deer in headlights. at this point i'm almost paralyzed and i can't bring myself to smile at them! any attempt at smiling comes across as fake

any tips on how to squeeze out a genuine smile in a situation like this? since the "stare" only lasts a few seconds at most, i find it hard to think of something humorous in my mind to help bring about a smile (in such a short time interval)

thx!

MDgood
07-14-2003, 02:10 PM
I'm going to guess that they're giving you the "deer in the headlights" look maybe because they're either sort of shy or you're just like a Tom Cruise lookalike? Or do you have a huge horn sticking out of your forehead? Depending on how you answer depends on the advice I can give you.

Slickster
07-14-2003, 02:16 PM
You'll find plenty of advice about "deer in the headlights" looks in this thread.http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30858


Be sure to read till the end cuz you won't want to miss anything.

MDgood
07-14-2003, 02:25 PM
Originally posted by Slickster
You'll find plenty of advice about "deer in the headlights" looks in this thread.http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30858


Be sure to read till the end cuz you won't want to miss anything.

The way I'm reading the above thread is that the guys are supposed to affect the "deer in the headlights" look in order to attract the girl. Numlock is saying he's finding girls are giving this look to him .

numlock
07-14-2003, 03:37 PM
i can totally tell that these girls are attracted to me. it's more of an expressionless look of attraction or very solid eye contact -- i know that a smile would put me at a huge advantage, but i just can't squeeze one out!

Walden
07-14-2003, 04:59 PM
Mental rehaersal.Sounds stupid but it trains your reflexes to act right when youdon't have time to think of what you're gonna do.

Boricua_33015
07-14-2003, 05:25 PM
yo numlock that happens all the time too.

I think the best thing to do is wink at them. Or get up close to them say loudly "what!?" with a little smirk on your face. Or you can always nod and say hi!

But you have to do these things quick because these situations last only a couple seconds. Be ready for them.

Of course I could use some of my own advice, but I too get paralyzed and start panicking "what if I wink and she rolls her eyes or rejects me? what if she rejects me and then goes and tells her freind about it? what if another guy sees me do this and the rejection, what s he gonna think?"

I know I shouldnt care what other people think about me but I just fear humiliation.

Nicholas Hill
07-14-2003, 07:16 PM
Having tried and tested this sort of stuff, I can agree that a wink is surely the way forward. You'll be smiling because of the "silly thing you've just done" as well - all works to your advantage!

Imagine a cute girl winking at you - you'd like that, yes?

There's no such thing as rejection with winking - its completely harmless, non intrusive and if she DOES somehow reject you - then guess what? She's mean, stuck up and an ego-sucker.

Boricua_33015
07-14-2003, 08:31 PM
lol, one time I winked at a girl but it came off weird as hell. Since I was nervous I kind of winked weird, like halfway winked, and it came off forced as hell as if my eye had acid in it, lol. Good thing she didnt even notice and looked away before I started the wink.

crackhead
07-14-2003, 09:11 PM
HAHA Boricua that was funny

I too have this same problem, and I don't think I even know how to wink without it looking like more of a spasm than a gesture.

I swear one of these days I'm gonna muster the courage to do what somebody in here suggested (can't remember who) and walk up to a super hottie and say "Hi my names crackhead and I'm conducting a social experiment to overcome my fear of talking to women I find attractive, thanks for participating" and then just walk away. If they see it as a cool convo starter or way of introducing yourself, cool. Then start talking to them and spit your game. If not, move on and don't care about it.

I gotta try it, there are just toooo many beautiful women walking around every day that all I do is look at.

trajhenkhet
07-14-2003, 10:41 PM
Set your face with a smile before the approach even happens.

Dee-Zy
07-14-2003, 11:44 PM
what the hell is the deer in headlights look???

numlock
07-15-2003, 09:16 AM
Set your face with a smile before the approach even happens.

i try and do this when i'm approaching -- but my problem is when i make unexpected eye contact with a girl. say i'm walking through the mall and i see a girl standing outside a store. i didn't plan to smile at her because i didn't see her from far away -- instead, eye contact is spontaneous and requires a quick smile

i like the winking idea -- i can definitely see how the wink would even make ME laugh! that's great, i'm going to try it

what the hell is the deer in headlights look???

it's when you make eye contact, and she just gives you this expressionless gaze -- sometimes the girl's eyes will widen -- but she's mainly waiting for you to make a move, ie. smile (or wink!) ;)

MDgood
07-15-2003, 10:23 AM
Originally posted by numlock
it's when you make eye contact, and she just gives you this expressionless gaze -- sometimes the girl's eyes will widen -- but she's mainly waiting for you to make a move, ie. smile (or wink!) ;)

Yep, it's a real funny look. I've noticed the shyer girls tend to do this. Certainly does knock you off balance if you don't know how to handle it. I always tried just thinking of something off of the top of my head to say, and try to start a conversation... but after reading this post I think I might try smiling a little more, or doing something a little off the wall, like touching her nose and saying "beeeeeeep"... something to make her smile and laugh, and maybe break her nervousness a bit. (FYI, not on a cold pickup, but with a girl I know well who does this to me.)

Slickster
07-15-2003, 02:03 PM
Originally posted by MDgood
The way I'm reading the above thread is that the guys are supposed to affect the "deer in the headlights" look in order to attract the girl. Numlock is saying he's finding girls are giving this look to him .

That link was a joke. If you read the thread I gave the link to you would see what I mean.

MDgood
07-15-2003, 02:20 PM
Originally posted by Slickster
That link was a joke. If you read the thread I gave the link to you would see what I mean.

Slickster, you are truly perceptive... I didn't read the whole thread. I started reading it, but then it was like... errrr... uuuhhhhh.... snoooooorrrrre. :cool:

Dee-Zy
07-15-2003, 02:29 PM
Originally posted by numlock
it's when you make eye contact, and she just gives you this expressionless gaze -- sometimes the girl's eyes will widen -- but she's mainly waiting for you to make a move, ie. smile (or wink!) ;)

I think I know what you're talking about - yet not sure...

MDgood
07-15-2003, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by Dee-Zy
I think I know what you're talking about - yet not sure...

It's like a look of shock the girl gives you. Her eyes look at you like you just asked her if she would like to see your penis. She'll follow this look up with a general look of being sick.

numlock
07-15-2003, 02:55 PM
nonetheless, it's still a positive look! she's so taken aback by you that she has no reaction

MDgood
07-15-2003, 03:05 PM
Originally posted by numlock
nonetheless, it's still a positive look! she's so taken aback by you that she has no reaction

lol.. yeah, numlock explained it better than me. :p

Shygal77
08-25-2011, 03:33 PM
I am always the deer in the headlight so allow me to enlighten you. Pardon the pun.

What's going on inside my head is "oh my gos this gorgeous guy has not only seen me but hasn't run off to someone skinnier blonder an cuter! Wait... Is he about to talk to me? Omg! What am I going to say? He's going to think I am an idiot! Goodbye prince charming. Oh wait. He must be talking to a cute blonde behind me. Yes that must be it." as you continue you to talk and make eye contact it goes on. "oh my god! He IS talking to me! I better pay attention!"

Sadly, women have ALOT of body issues. Tell her how gorgeous or smart she is and that's like giving her chocolate. That's the way to a womans heart.

As for dealing with the deer in headlights, I personally am humiliated by the fact it happens to me. The last time it happened, the man was gracious enough to ignore it. To this day. I don't know if he noticed. He probably did. He probably thought I was on drugs. (I wasn't.) it took me a while to get over it because the interactions were so short and far between. Just give these poor girls some time. Just try to treat them with some grace and dignity and realize their poor brains are being flooded with more hormones and pheromones than they can handle which is shorting out their ability to comprehend anything. They will adapt but they need to catch up. They are just saturated in natural chemicals so have some mercy on these ladies. Just refrain from sleeping with them until the brain cells dry out a bit, ok?