Why do I just attract married women?

I know this question sounds corney, but one of my co workers just today came up to me and he asked me why are you always flirting with married women for? (He has seen me talking to this woman often and he overheard our confersation as he came into the break room this morning.) she had asked me if I had been tanning (I dont tan) and that I was really looing great from working out all the time. He came in the break room at that time and heard us. )

I said I dont go out of my way looking to hit on them. They usually just approach me and start talking. Before I know it, we are flirting. I can right off the bat name five women at my job that I know from what others have said are intereste in me. Problem is I dont mess with married women.


This leads to the bigger question. When I try to use the same approaches with singles, I seem to fail horribly.

What gives??

I get the same thing. Not from married women, but chicks with BF's, seem to always show high IL for me too, and I dont like to do that either. I've been trying to solve this mystery for a couple years now. One possibility is that, since we know they are taken, we are not playing any games with them(therefore not screwing any games up.) Also, they might have the "want what they cant have" syndrome. I am a very amateur DJ, but I have nailed some seriously fine asses, although few and far between sometimes. We might just want to take it as a compliment, cuz, we lack in DJ skills, yet have a natural attraction within us, that we need to tap. Use this as a tool to build confidence, cuz if we're attracting taken girls without trying, we can surely get the single ones too.

Married women

Yeah, this goes back as far as 12 years ago. My sister is a nurse and one of her friends from the hospital back then told her that if she knew her hubby woudlnt find out. she would love to get with me. I have noticed this trend on and off for several years. The last date I was to go on recently, the woman stood me up. Now go figure??

A really friendly woman, who isn't afraid to be a little aggressive, will always be in a relationship. I mean, why wouldn't she? As soon as one relationship ends, she already has a gaggle of male friends, and she ain't the least bit shy about laying it out, saying she likes you, even asking you out on dates.

It's not that the average, single women don't like you, it's just that the normal girl is too shy, and just flat out passive, to be coming on to you quite like these girls.

If you find that all your prospects are in serious relationships, maybe you aren't being aggressive enough with all the quiet women around you.

because they are 'out of bounds' both you and them feel free to play (flirt). often this is innocent to start and then ends up crossing the line at some point.

with single women theres a commitment phase associated with the flirting. ie. flirting leads to a date (or rejection). which adds stress to the situation. no stress flirting with a married woman.

also single women are less "sexual" at first glance than married women - which makes sense when you think about it. the single woman is SINGLE - which means she doesnt have some guy wanting to f*ck her every night. so her self esteem is generally in the gutter, even if she hides it well. whereas a married woman is getting d*ck and her ego isn't as fragile as the single woman.

so with married women its just all fun and games and no stress or tension associated with them - and my bet is you are probably a natural flirt with these women - a natural DJ almost if you will.

but stick a single woman in front of you - a woman who if you flirt with her will start to WANT something from you (ie. a date) - and you probably turn into mr. average joe.

try behaving around single women the way you do around married ones and i think youd be surprised the success you have.

fear of commitment is probably also at play here. i have a bit of this. I've had the same experience as you. girls who are married or who have boyfriends LOVE me. the reason though is that with them im reckless in the things i say, casual, care free, funny as hell, etc. i typically dont care what they think in the beginning and they end up loving who I am - I'M the PRIZE. however with a single woman im interested in i can end up being to careful about how i appear in front of her. Once i started treating single women the way i did married women i found the interest level rises in both equally.

I think you two are getting the friends treatment because you're perceievd as safe. Because i tend to be overt with my sexuality, I actually dont get "engaged" as much by married women that know me professionally, I presume because they don't feel totally safe around me. In contrast, I know a few "friendly" happy-go-lucky guys who get plenty of attention by them, but it is clear to them and everyone else that they are zero threat.

As you said, you dont go for married women, and trust me, that fact is quite plain to them too.

Don't take that as a criticism or a put-down. Morally, you should leave married women alone, so you're doing the right thing by coming across as you are; non-threatening.

leeman67 said:

This leads to the bigger question. When I try to use the same approaches with singles, I seem to fail horribly.

What gives??

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The biggest question in here is:

How much do you value your career?

It is worthy to be viewed as a playboy or a rake?

I don't think it is. If you want to act certain way at work that can bring negative attention...do it covertly.

Now that I got that out of the way (my previous post).

Have you ever phucked any of them? If you have not...then there is the answer.

Those married women approach you...and do it "blatantly" in public (and at work), because they feel SAFE around you.

They would never (not as such high numbers) do something like that at work if they truly meant to follow up. As discretion is the biggest thing among married women. That even goes with married women that are currently separated. They ALL want discretion. Public flirting at THEIR work place is not discretion. So, my guess is that that many women doing that, does it because they feel safe around you. Unless, you have already phuck some of them.

yea dude !! I hate when girls that have boyfriends or husbands flirt with me...without any reasoning or anything I just felt that i wasn't attractive enough for them to ever wanna fcuk me...women love flirting, it boosts their ego, so in my mind I always thought these types of girls flirted with other guys to use them as ego boosters and nothing more...

I love when a girl acts a bit cold towards me, especially in public..or intentionally goes out of her way to create tension between us..because I feel it takes waaaayyyy more effort to be unpleasant and distant to someone, plus ALL women want to be loved by everyone and question their self esteem so when a woman makes life tough, its a safe bet she's hot for you against her will.

I take that as a sign of a girl that is conflicted over her emotions about me...she wants to fcuk me knows its wrong but she can't help the way she feels, so she intentionally create a barrier to protect herself from herself

As discretion is the biggest thing among married women. That even goes with married women that are currently separated. They ALL want discretion.

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sooo true !!!!!!!!!!!! (not just the quote but the whole post !!!!!!!!!!)

and also...if you can't hook up with the 1st or 2nd single girl you talk too their is something wrong with your appearance, charisma or masculinity.

When I try to use the same approaches with singles, I seem to fail horribly.

What gives??

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take a look at yourself, and think about your personality and the way people perceive you..something needs to change for the better, because most girls think alike when it comes to attraction, I know you might have read or heard a bunch of things that say girls are attracted to different things in a man, but I personally don't buy that..if you can attract 1 or 2 attractive women effortlessly with 1 shot you can attract them all, so theres no social problem or issue going on here..the problem is actually you.

joekerr31 said:

also single women are less "sexual" at first glance than married women - which makes sense when you think about it. the single woman is SINGLE - which means she doesnt have some guy wanting to f*ck her every night. so her self esteem is generally in the gutter, even if she hides it well. whereas a married woman is getting d*ck and her ego isn't as fragile as the single woman.

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Mate, you are making the mistake of confusing male sexuality with female sexuality. Women do not have low self esteem or fragile egos because they arn't getting d1ck. Even a relatively unattractive woman can get fvcked many times a night merely by opening her legs. It is AFCs who have fragile egos and low self esteem because the can't get a fvck, not women.